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Friday, 10 December 2010

10th December

No one is talking about my cancer at home.
It's like..
If we don't mention it, it will go away.

I think about it at least twice a day.

How do I feel?
Well, I don't know really, it changes from thought to thought.
Going back to the stages of grief, I am probably in the 'disbelief stage'.

Sometimes, I feel nothing at all, and others, I just don't believe it.
I forgot to take my temperature yesterday. I must remember today.

I have picked my funeral plan. I am still waiting for the money to come from the 'Critical Illness' policy I took out yonkers ago. 
I have to continue paying the premiums until I get the money, or I don't get the money.
Anyway, all the paper work is done for this funeral plan....
I have even picked the music. I think that I will put it on CD.
I might even do a video...........
I can change it each year to fit the circumstances, because, as you know, everything changes.

I genuinely believe that I am not going to die, not of this cancer anyway.
I had always planned to just 'wake up dead' one morning, when I am about 70 years old!
I see no reason why I should change these plans at this stage of the game!! lol!

Well, just need to wait until Monday now, when I have to go to the hospital to have further tests and do a bit of prep for Tuesday when the chemo begins.


Pearly said...

I suppose it's not the sort of subjec that people feel like bringing up, really, especially if you are still feeling ok physically. I'm sure that may well change once your treatment starts.

70 is no age nowadays, I think you should start planning on longer than that. Take it easy. XXX

ps Tried leaving comments on your other blog but it won't let me for some reason. And the link back to this one just takes you to 'wild rose'

Carol said...

Mine works, have tried another blog now too lol