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Wednesday, 29 June 2011

29th June - 10th day of 6th chemo cycle

It was a lot cooler yesterday, and I had some visitors!
Two of my friends and work colleagues came yesterday, we went to lunch and had a great chat.
The came adorned with some beautiful flowers! This was great...Thanks!

Feeling so much better today, mentally and emotionally anyway!

A bit concerned that the side effects of the chemo are taking longer to go away this this time.

So...what is still there?

  • Tinnitus....worsening.
  • Neuropathy....seems to be getting worse, and there are additions, stabbing to the thighs.......
  • Nausea, still there, and threatening to go that one stage further for the first time!
  • Quite an 'upset tummy'...continence wise.
  • Tired, tired, tired, all of the time!
  • Pain in the hip joints seems to be getting worse.
  • Sore body, usually only lasted for a day...still there, been at least 3 days now.
  • Everything seems to be in 'slow motion'.
  • Eyesight still an issue.
  • Concentration and focus still an issue.
  • Toothache still.
On the 'up side'..........
  • Headache and sinusitis seem to have gone.
  • I can actually get showered and dressed without taking a break, although it is still hard work! Lol!
  • Should be able to get eyes sorted in a couple of weeks.
  • Should be able to get my tooth sorted soon.
  • I seem to be loosing my 'healthy' appetite, so I should return to my usual size soon. I can already 'feel' that I have lost a little weight.
Need to wait for the appointment for my scan, and from Professor Murphy. I should be able to find out the why's and wherefore's..............

I was expecting to feel all back to normal now, but I don't, am I expecting too much from myself or am I just a wimp!? Lol! 


Expecting too much?

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

28th June - 9th day of 6th and final chemo cycle

Apparently, it was the hottest day for 5 years here yesterday.
It was very muggy and oppressive. It was also cloudy. The day before was oppressive, but he sun shone too.

Last night it rained, and the weather 'broke'.
The sun is trying very hard to shine this morning, it looks lovely...........a lot 'fresher' than yesterday.

Sunday and yesterday...well, I had a couple of bad days...........this, I think was compounded by the muggy and sticky heat.

For the past two days, (and this morning, so far), I have had very tingly and numb feet, an upset tummy, tinnitus has become worse....and I am feeling sorry for myself.............

Some one, please come and give me a slap!!!!!!

Remind me how lucky I am!!!!!


Well, over the past 2-3 weeks, a few of people who I have been in contact with via various cancer chats/groups/hospital etc. have, very sadly, lost their battle with cancer.
To top it all, another lady reported on her 'blog' that a person that she was in contact with and fond of, has also lost her battle.............

My thoughts are with these wonderful and brave people and their families and friends.

This has all gone to remind me that life can throw that 'curve ball' any time..........

It has also confirmed that for me, quality of life is far more important than quantity.....who you meet on your journey, what you learn, and how to use your knowledge............................................... all very important stuff!

Well, an appropriate image for this post?
I have no idea...........

I am feeling quite nostalgic and remembering people who have been in my life and made a difference....................................

Sunday, 26 June 2011

27th June - 8th Day of 6th and final chemo cycle

Yesterday, the weather was a bit oppressive. Very pleasant in the shade, and if I stayed still! lol!
The tenderness that envelopes my whole body for at least one full day started to creep over my torso the day before yesterday, and by yesterday morning, I just hurt all over.
Tinnitus seems to be getting worse, and is noticeable all of the time now.
I was expecting the side effects to get a little worse as the 'cycles' went on, and this has happened.
Neuropathy was a bit worse yesterday too. The whole of one of my feet, part of the other, and the finger tips on my left hand were effected. Pretty much the same this morning.
That does not mean that I am not expecting them to disappear over the next few weeks or so. (Not my hands and feet, the side effects! Lol!)
I had the 'shakes' yesterday too, gone now though.

Looks like it is going to be another 'scorcher' today...I am feeling tired and lethargic....(again/still, I don't know....)

Anyway, I will rest, potter and mooch and chill today...........
Take care!

A friend was going to come and visit yesterday, but, alas, this did not happen...but just as well really, I was not good company, and was feeling a bit sorry for myself!

26th June -
Report tomorrow!

Friday, 24 June 2011

25th June - 6th day of FINAL (6th chemo cycle)

No more to take, took the last yesterday!

Feeling tired this morning, but then I did get up at 04.00am, don't ask, I have no idea why!
I will probably pop back to bed in a while for another doze...I mean...040.00am, I must want my bumps feeling!

The weather forcast is great for this week end...I just hope that it is accurate!

I am expecting loads of visitors this week, which is great.

Still feeling a bit nauseous......the rest is fading, or hasn't kicked in yet, so that is good.

Well, I have been up for over an hour now, I think that I will have a coffee, and nip back to bed for a little while before I nod off!

See you all tomorrow...have a great week-end!

Confessions of a cancer patient: 24th June - 4th day of 6th and final chemo cycle

Confessions of a cancer patient: 24th June - 4th day of 6th and final chemo cycle

Thursday, 23 June 2011

24th June - 4th day of 6th and final chemo cycle

Well, I was given a prescription on Monday for vitamin D.
Well, as there was an hours wait at the hospital pharmacy, and I had already been there for 2 hours.
I was also aware that the Monday was going to be the best that I was going to feel for the next 7-14 days, and didn't want to spend time at the hospital when I could be doing something nicer!
I decided that I would pick it up on Tuesday when I went for my chemo.
The pharmacy wasn't open until after my chemo started and was closed when it finished.........and had it been open, I was too unwell to take the 10 minute walk to the pharmacy and 10 minute walk back. (From the chemo ward).

I am still very excited, knowing that I will not be having any more treatment, and today is the last day of taking the meds that I have to self administer at home!


Just a little note that I forgot to mention yesterday.
There is a high probability that there are cancer cells in my blood stream, because it has already been established that there were cancer cells in the blood vessels leading from and to the tumour.

I am aware of this, but I am still going to see myself as cancer free, because, other wise it would be like looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life looking out for this 'hit man' to get me! Lol!
So- I am going to pick it up today, as I feel a little better.
Can't be doing with all of that!

How do I feel?........

  • Well, heart burn kicking in good and proper, (that will subside).
  • Ankles just starting to swell,(That will sort itself).
  • Tinnitus....seems to remain with me, some times worse than others, but manageable.
  • Palpitations...they will wear off.
  • Sinusitis.......every morning with an addition tension headache, but paracetamol usually controls that. 
  • This is different... constipation instead of loose stools, but I have laxatives.
  • Urine..,,still toilet timing myself, and in a couple of weeks that should be enough to ensure not 'accidents', in the mean time, good old tena pants!
  • Nausea....but on the bright side, I haven't actually been sick yet, although there have been a couple of close calls.
  • Memory, concentration and focus, a bit dodgy still, but I am sure that it will get better.
  • The biggest issue, is getting tired so very quickly. I keep wanting to nod off! I am fighting it by making an effort to do some craft work, but then.........
  • My eye sight, that will be sorted when I see the optician in about 3 weeks. (It is bad for very close up and intricate work, and for reading small print).
  • Oooooo, and my hip joint pain, which I did forget to mention when I went to see the oncologist on Monday. I will though, next time!
What am I still expecting to happen?
  • The couple of days of very painful whole body! Can't bear bed clothes, ordinary clothes to be touching me. But going commando with a kaftan helps with that, and it is only a couple of days. Can't remember when that kicks in, but I dare say I will know soon enough!
  • More hair loss, it falls out in patches. I will go to the hairdressers and have it all shaved off in about 3-4 weeks, then I know that when it grows, it will grow at a consistent rate all over my head, and make it easier to grow and try to style when it is long enough, (If I choose to let it grow at all).
A bit cool this morning, but the sun is shining, which always helps with the 'feel good' factor.

Well, need to go and take this bloody medication now...........only another two medication times today, and it is ALL OVER! (Apart from a couple of side effects).
Hehehehhe.....sounding a bit like 'One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest' there for a moment!

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

23rd June - 3rd day of 6th and final chemo cycle

This post has some very interesting factual information taken from and I hope that it will be useful to many of you out there who is as frustrated as I am  with the 'not knowing.

First, I would just like to go over my initial tumour removal which took place in
 October 2010.

A lump was discovered and removed.
It was generally assumed to be a cyst, as I have been known to have many.
When the lump was removed, it did not look like a cancer, smell like a cancer, and there was no reason to believe that it was a cancer.

The consequence of this was that only the lump was removed.
If this lump had been identified as a cancer, more of the surrounding area would have been removed to reduce the risk of 'spread'.

A biopsy was done as a precaution, but with no sense of urgency.

I would like to say at this point, that I am not apportioning any blame, I believe that it is no ones fault, and I have no concerns about my treatment in any has been excellent from the beginning.

These things happen. I am just stating facts so that you (and I), can understand the situation as it stands, and why we may never know if the cancer is still in my body or not.

The only way that we may know is by experiencing further symptoms.

Here is the information.........This was taken from

It has helped me to understand why we may not know if cancer is still present in my body, (or anyone’s elses), even after a scan.

·       Primary and secondary cancer
The main reason cancer can be difficult to cure is that it can spread to a different part of the body from where it started. The cancer that grows where it first started in the body is called the 'primary cancer'. The place a cancer spreads to and then starts growing is called the 'secondary cancer' or 'metastasis'. 

·       How a cancer spreads
In order to spread, some cells from the primary cancer must break away, travel to another part of the body and start growing there. Cancer cells do not stick together as well as normal cells. They also may produce substances that stimulate them to move. But how do cancer cells travel through the body?
There are three main ways a cancer spreads
·     Local spread

·       Local spread
The cancer grows directly into nearby body tissues. There is more about this in the page on how a cancer grows. 

·       Through the blood circulation
In order to spread, the cancer cell must first become detached from the primary tumour. It must then slip through the wall of a blood vessel to get into the bloodstream.
Description: cancer cell burrowing into tissues
When it is in the bloodstream, it is swept along by the circulating blood until it gets stuck somewhere, usually in a very small blood vessel called a capillary.
Then it must slip through the wall of the capillary and into the tissue of the organ close by. There it must start to multiply to grow a new tumour.
As you can see, this is a complicated journey. Most cancer cells do not survive it. Probably, out of many thousands of cancer cells that reach the blood circulation only one will survive to form a secondary cancer or metastasis.
Some cancer cells are probably killed off by the white blood cells in our immune system. Others cancer cells may die because they are battered around by the fast flowing blood.
Cancer cells in the circulation may try to stick to platelets to form clumps to give themselves some protection. This may also help them to be filtered out in the next capillary network they come across so they can then move into the tissues to start a secondary tumour 

·       Through the lymphatic system
The way a cancer spreads through the lymphatic system is very similar to the way it spreads through the bloodstream. The cancer cell must become detached from the primary tumour. Then it travels in the circulating lymph fluid until it gets stuck in the small channels inside a lymph node. There it begins to grow into a secondary cancer. 

·       Why cancers spread where they do
Whether it is in the blood or the lymph, the spreading cancer cell stops at the first place it gets stuck. In the bloodstream, this is often the first capillary network it comes across. The blood flow from most body organs goes next through the capillaries in the lungs. So not surprisingly, the lungs are a very common place for cancer to spread to.
The blood from the organs of the digestive system goes through the capillaries of the liver before going back to the heart and then to the lungs. So it is common for digestive system cancers to spread to the liver. In fact, the liver is the second most common area of cancer spread.
Some cancers show unexpected patterns of spread. For example, prostate cancer often spreads to the bones. Scientists are still investigating why this happens.
Cancer cells often get trapped in the group of lymph nodes closest to the tumour. During cancer surgery, the surgeon may remove the main lymph nodes close to the area of the cancer. For example, the surgeon operating to remove a breast cancer will remove one or more of the lymph nodes from under the arm. These are the first lymph nodes through which lymph draining from the breast flows. The surgeon removes the lymph nodes to remove the cancer cells. Finding out whether the cancer has spread into the nodes gives the doctor some information about whether further treatment with cancer drugs or radiotherapy is needed. 

·       Micrometastases
Micrometastases are areas of cancer spread (metastases) that are too small to see. If there are individual cells, or even small areas of growing cells elsewhere in the body, no scan is detailed enough to show them.
For a few types of cancer, blood tests can detect certain proteins released by the cancer cells. These may give a sign that there are metastases too small to show up on a scan. But for most cancers, there is no blood test that can say whether a cancer has spread or not.
For most cancers the doctor can only say whether it is likely or not that a patient has micrometastases. This 'best guess' may be based on the following factors.
·     Previous experience of many other patients treated in the same way. Doctors naturally collect and publish this information to help each other.
·     Whether cancer cells are found in the blood vessels in the tumour removed during surgery (for example in testicular cancer). If they are found then cancer cells are more likely to have reached the bloodstream and spread to somewhere else in the body.
·     The grade of the cancer - the higher the grade, the more aggressive the cancer and the more likely that cells have spread.
·     Whether lymph nodes removed during an operation contained cancer cells (for example in breast cancer or bowel cancer). If the lymph nodes contained cancer cells this shows that cancer cells have broken away from the original cancer. But there is no way of knowing whether any have spread to other areas of the body.
This information is important. If the doctor thinks it is likely that there are micrometastases, they may offer further treatment with chemotherapy, radiotherapy or hormone therapy. This is called 'adjuvant treatment'. The aim is to kill the areas of cancer cells before they grow big enough to be seen on a scan.
Some doctors call this 'belt and braces' treatment. In other words, the treatment is to try to make sure the cancer does not come back. No one can know for sure if all the cancer cells have been destroyed when someone has finished treatment. It is this uncertainty that can make cancer difficult to cope with for many people, even if they seem to have been successfully treated.

Another of my poems...............

Where am I now?

6th and final chemo cycle,
This will take all day,
Like all the other chemo,
Later on, I'll pay.

The patients here
All look so well.
We all have cancer,
But you can't tell.

Along with chemo in your veins
Some other stuff goes in.
This all stops you from being sick,
And stops you from being slim!

The drugs give you an appetite, eat a lot,
And you 'bang' the weight on!
Your diets are forgot!

The Doctors and the Nurses
Say you must loose NO weight!
So, if you do, they say to you,
"Go home, and fill your plate!"

So now I have neuropathay,
Phlebitis and feel numb,
And all I have to show for it
I a whacking great big bum!

The next thing that I need to do,
Is go and have a scan.
This will be the 'benchmark',
And shows cancer, if it can.

So for now, I will tell myself
That after all this 'hell',
Carol Hubbard is now 'cancer free!'
And 'feeling, Oh, so well!'

Now I have to go to work,
And pick up where I left,
And hope that I can still do it,
Despite some side effects.

I know I can,
I'm sure I can,
I'm made of some tough stuff.
That, and some support from work
I know will be enough!

Carol Hubbard 31st May 2011

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

22nd June - 2nd day of 6th and Final chemo cycle

Well, not a lot to say...

The staff worked really hard, as usual. Cards and chocolates distributed.

8.30 till 17.00, I had drips in for the chemo infusion. (I did get bored so I wrote another poem), needs a bit of tweaking before I post it.

I felt very woozy, dizzy and generally unsteady on my feet when I got back.
Pete, my brother in law, was kind enough to take me and bring me back. Thanks Pete.

I have to self medicate chemo and anti sickness today, tomorrow and friday.

I am really tired and lethargic, as usual at this stage. This lessens as the cycle goes on, but it has taken a little longer with each cycle.


Now, I think that best thing that I can do for my own sanity and satisfaction, is to tell my self that I am cured, and that there is no longer any cancer in my body.
Once I get over these debilitating side effects, I want to get back to normal and live a little, do normal stuff.

This morning, I have heart burn, sinusitis, and a REAL sense of urgency when nature calls!
My ankles are just starting to expand...whooopeedee!

As I have said on a number of previous occasions, things could have been so much worse.

I am grateful that they weren't.

Whoooooohoooooooooo! No more treatment!
What will be now, will be, I will accept with grace and return to proper living in the interim, how ever long that may be!
See you all tomorrow, have a good one!

22nd June - 2nd day of 6th and Final chemo cycle

Well, not a lot to say...

The staff worked really hard, as usual. Cards and chocolates distributed.

8.30 till 17.00, I had drips in for the chemo infusion. (I did get bored so I wrote another poem), needs a bit of tweaking before I post it.

I felt very woozy, dizzy and generally unsteady on my feet when I got back.
Pete, my brother in law, was kind enough to take me and bring me back. Thanks Pete.

I have to self medicate chemo and anti sickness today, tomorrow and friday.

I am really tired and lethargic, as usual at this stage. This lessens as the cycle goes on, but it has taken a little longer with each cycle.


Now, I think that best thing that I can do for my own sanity and satisfaction, is to tell my self that I am cured, and that there is no longer any cancer in my body.
Once I get over these debilitating side effects, I want to get back to normal and live a little, do normal stuff.

This morning, I have heart burn, sinusitis, and a REAL sense of urgency when nature calls!
My ankles are just starting to expand...whooopeedee!

As I have said on a number of previous occasions, things could have been so much worse.

I am grateful that they weren't.

Whoooooohoooooooooo! No more treatment!
What will be now, will be, I will accept with grace and return to proper living in the interim, how ever long that may be!
See you all tomorrow, have a good one!

Monday, 20 June 2011

21st June - 1st day of 6th (and final) chemo cycle

I saw the oncologist yesterday.
I was told that:

  • They have thrown everything that they can at me, there is nothing more that can be done.
  • They will keep their eye on me.
  • I should expect an appointment for a scan. This will be used as a bench mark to monitor any changes.
  • I will get an appointment to see Proff. Murphy, who will discuss cancer with me. (The oncologist deals with cancer treatment- two different things, apparently).
Not a lot else was discussed. I have been prescribed vitamin D............this is to combat the phlebitis. we go again....08.30..............1st day of cycle 6.
I know that I wont feel like 'blogging' when I get back at about 18.00 hrs, because
I know that I can't think, walk or move really, I feel like I am in  a bowel of treacle and that it has also seeped into my head!!!!! (Not a lot of change there then, I hear you shout!) Lol!
I can't really describe how debilitating it is....(for me any way, I suppose it effects different people in different ways.)

I will have to have the canula in my right hand today, due to the phlebitis in my left, this is going to make life a bit difficult, as i am right handed.

Any bag is packed with magazines, a book...Patricia Cormwall, phone, on silent, and I have a box of chocolates for the Chemo staff, one for radiotherapy staff and another for the girls on reception.
I can't tell how very good and supportive all of the staff have been! Thank you all!

I will see you tomorrow, when I know that I will feel a little better.
Have a great day!

Hmmmmmm, not sure what picture I should add, so it will probabaly be a random one........If I am to be honest, my glasses are packed in the bag, so I don't know if I can see well enough to pick an appropriate one, lol!
So a bit of a lucky dip here!

There....did it!!!!!!!!!

20th June - 21st day (and last day) of 5th chemo cycle

I went to have my bloods done this morning, and I was told that I have to see the Oncologist at 15.15 hrs today, and not on Thursday, which is great, (as you know, I had intended to turn up for the first of the two possible appointments anyway).
I have to have the next chemo session tomorrow, and if I had to go to the hospital on Thursday to see the Oncologist, I would have felt really rotten.

I am feeling really tired today, and based on my experiences of the previous chemo cycles, one day before the next one, I should be feeling almost normal!

The dilator.  

(Don't read the next bit Philip......I know that it is too much info for you! Lol!)

I have used it as prescribed.
I have just moved up to the second size. It's like starting again from the beginning, which I suppose I am in a strange way.
As I said....painful!

Side effects that I still have

  • Tinnitus
  • Sinusitis
  • Heart burn
  • Phlebitis
  • Neuropathy
  • Lethargy
  • Difficult to concentrate
  • Poor memory
  • Tiredness
  • Poor eyesight
  • Tooth ache
  • Continence issues
  • Painful hip joints
Side effects that I expect to kick in sometime after tomorrow

  • Swollen ankles
  • Swollen knees
  • Lack of physical strength
  • Bloated body
  • Painful body
  • Headaches
  • Nausea
  • Sore head....(due to further hair loss).
My Last chemo cycle starts tomorrow...then NO MORE ever again!!!! Whoooohoo!

The second list of side effects, I expect to be short lived, not too sure of the first list though....I feel as if I have had them throughout...since December in fact.

Well, that's it for today, I will let you know what the Oncologist says in my blog tomorrow.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

19th June - 20th day of 5th chemo cylce real change.
I had a problem sleeping last night, and it was way past midnight when I eventually went to bed, and it took ages for me to get to sleep, no idea why.......

I was up at about 07.00, which is later than usual, but still quite early.

Bloods tomorrow and chemo Tuesday....feeling anxious, I really don't like it, but I remind myself that it is the last one and that it its heaps better than the radiotherapy! font's changed, what is going on here then? Lol!
Not going to change it back though because:-

  • Can't remember what it was.
  • I quite like this one.
Having said that...the gremlins will probably present me with something else tomorrow or next week!

Scarey.....just looked at the post after publishing and hte font hasn't change on the blog, just on the bit that I fill in before it is posted!

Do do do do, do do do do, do do do do.......
(Twilight Zone, inc ase you couldn't name that tune in one...Lol!)

Ok, speak again tomorrow!

Friday, 17 June 2011

18th June - 19th day of 5th chemo cycle

Well, turns out that I have to have my bloods done on Monday, next chemo cycle on Tuesday, (And last one!!!!Yay!!!!).......

Oncologist on Thursday.

Back on pain killers temporarily for headache, sinusitis and toothache, (bloody raging it is!). Pain killers are doing the trick though.

Went out for lunch with my friend yesterday, it was good. Long chat, good food and great company...fab!
I did get tired quite quickly though

I have been beating the birds to my strawberries! They are lovely...juicy and sweet.

Derek, (my husband), is complaining of painful  knees, painful wrist, painful back, sore mouth and tooth ache.
I have suggested a trip to the Doctors and Dentist, will just have to wait and see what happens.

Well, that's it for today.....not really exciting, I know, but, there you go!

Have a great week end!

Thursday, 16 June 2011

17th June - day 18 of 5th chemo cycle

Not a  lot to say this morning.
No real change from yesterday.
I have to have my bloods done this morning, and I dare they will tell me when I need to see the oncologist, Monday or Thursday, I hope that they don't, then I can just turn up for the first one.
Having said that, I have two appointments for bloods too. Today and Thursday??????????

Weather...dull and overcast, quite cool really.

I was expecting a visit form someone in HR yesterday, to discuss my options for returning to work, but, alas, he was unable to attend due to unforeseen circumstances.

Lol! I like these cartoons.............I will be pleased to get back to me it means that I am well, and the past few months have just been a dream!!!!!!
Let's hope that the Doctors agree! (haven't discussed this with them yet!)

I will be popping in to town after my visit to the hospital, grab some bits and back home. I am expecting a friend to visit today.

I will update either later today or tomorrow morning...probably tomorrow morning if I am honest..........

Enjoy your day!

16th June - 17th day of 5th chemo cycle

All emotions riding high today!
Coming up to the last chemo session.........
I feel nervous, frightened, excited, happy, tearful, upset...(the not knowing if it worked or not and not knowing when I will know etc),   you name it and I feel it!

Had a bit of an 'upsurge' of energy this morning, probably connected with the above.....anyway, did some you do....bloody knackered now! Lol!....(And it's only 5 minutes to 10 in the morning!!!!!)

Now that the last session looms...I need to start thinking about my return to work, I will be discussing my options with HR, so that I can try and work out what is going to be best for me, when I see the oncologist, I will also discuss with her, and have a chat with my Doctor....try to see what's what in all of this.

One of the things that is a bit worrying, and it is my fault,.....when I know that I am seeing people, I get all dressed up, make up, add colour to a drained face, cream the body to eliminate the 'crocodile skin'...come on girls, you know what I mean....
So the comments that I get are,
'You look well!'.
'I can't believe how well you look under the circumstances...'
And all that stuff....
How I look and how I feel are continents apart sometimes!

Yes, I am as cheery as I can be on the family and friends read it, I don't want them to worry too much, after all, this affects their lives as well, there is nothing that they can do to make things better, why should I upset them any more that they are already?

I haven't posted pics of me on bad days for the same reasons. When I feel that the time is right, I will post those pics..........
Any way enough of that......

Today, I feel good, the side effects, tooth ache and other stuff is all manageable........Oh, by the way, Carole, (, suggested cloves for my toothache, I have used clove, but the taste....urgh....If the pain is unbearable, I will use it and clove oil, it does help with the pain.

Oh, blimey....I must be feeling better, Lol! I am off on a tangent again!

Sun is shining, coffee and garden calling, and I am answering,
'I am on my way!'

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

15th June - 16th day of 5th chemo cycle

Good Morning!

Well, still tired, I have a tooth ache, but I can't get it seen to until the chemo is all over, that bloody sinusitis was back this morning, so I took some paracetamol, hopefully that will deal with both issues.
It is a little overcast this morning, but the sin is trying to shine through. (That should be sun, I dare say that the sin is trying hard too, but I just don't have the energy! LOL!)

I really enjoyed having Keith here for a couple of days, hopefully, he will pop back on his way home from Gatwick.

I went to lunch with a friend yesterday.
It was a beautiful day. We  went into town, to my favourite little arcade.
Coffee shop and eatery, Angel Wings on one side, Intricuts on the other, and a book shop opposite.
We sat outside in the Cafe, and popped into each of the shops, so most of the time was spent  sitting and chatting. We were out for about 3 hours, which is my maximum at the moment. (Tiredness).

Needless to say, I bought some more craft stuff! Lol!

I started Roxanne's wedding jewellery. I have the design all laid out. She wants floating gems, so I have to use mono filament. I need another 150 crimp beads, (the tiny ones), then I can put it all together! She doesn't want anything in her hair, so it is just necklace, bracelet and earrings.

Another friend is coming to see me on Friday...(I have to have my bloods done again on Friday morning too).
Oncologist on Monday, and chemo Tuesday.
(Well, I have 2 appointments for the oncologist, and I am not sure which one I am supposed to attend).
One is for Monday, (which means I would have chemo on Tuesday, the other is for Thursday, which means that chemo wont be till Tuesday week.
My plan is to turn up for the first one, so if it is the second one, they will see just because I am there, and cancel the second one, and I can get it all over and done with sooner...does that make sense????
If it is the second one, then I will have made a wasted trip....small price to pay to try and get this whole stuff over and done with as soon as possible.

I have no hair where you would expect me to have hair...(apart from my eyebrows,,,the ones that I would normally pluck out are still there, so I still have to pluck, and then draw them in where I want them, and my eyelashes, which seem to be darker an longer than before, so no complaints there),..............
However, I have got this white bum fluffy stuff growing on my face!  
All this chemo is turning me into a Ware Wolf!
So watch out!!!!!! Lol!

Although, the way things are going, I wont have any teeth I will only be able to 'gum' you to death Lol!

Monday, 13 June 2011

14th June - 15th day of 5th chemo cycle

Well, I had a good day yesterday! Felt pretty well all day.
Keith came, and is still here...(in bed, lol!).
He has to go to a conference in Gatwick tomorrow. I am very proud of him.

This morning, I woke up with bloody sinusitis....horrid it is! Thought that my head was going to explode!
Anyway, I have taken some paracetamol, and it has subsided! All good stuff.

The usual side effect suspects are still there, but manageable.

I am lunching with a friend of mine today, so I am looking forward to that, particularly as I am feeling quite well, so far.
I reckon that I will feel OK now until the next chemo session, which I think is on Tuesday, (should find out on Friday), then it is feeling rubbish again for how ever long it takes! BUT IT IS THE LAST ONE!!!!!!!!

The sun is shining, always makes me feel better, the birds are singing.....and they left my ripe strawberries alone yesterday and today!

So....all is well at the western front!

Oh, and another bit of good news, (for me anyway), I have been asked when I am going to add to my mini auto biog!
Wow! Didn't think that any one would really be that interested, so to add to my feeling well, I have had another ego massage! Lol! Thanks Shane!

Sunday, 12 June 2011

13th June - 14th day of 5th chemo cycle

Well, I ended up going back to bed yesterday, for a couple of hours.
It rained all day yesterday and all night last night.
It has been raining most of the week......(mark my words, a drought will still be declared soon!)

I quite like the rain, I do still sit in the garden in the rain...on one of those swing things with a canopy, it's the cold that I can't stand!

I love to watch thunder and lightening too!

I have to take Mum to the clinic for her blood tests again today, Keith is coming today too, so I am looking forward to that.
I am going out to lunch with a friend tomorrow, as probably another friend on Wednesday.
Blood tests Friday and Oncologist the week after, and another chemo cycle beings....
On the up side...
.IT IS THE LAST ONE!!!!!!!!!
No real change in how I feel, still the same old side effects....................

So, off for a shower now, another coffee, walk up the garden, a few domestic chores, and prepare dinner, take Mum to the clinic, cook know, the usual stuff!

See you all tomorrow!

Saturday, 11 June 2011

12th June - 13th day of 5th chemo cycle

I was a bit tired yesterday, so I popped back to bed for a nap.....anyway.......5 hours later, I surfaced, and I still went to bed at 22.00hrs, and slept all the way through!!!!!

OK...07.00 now, A bit dull and overcast.
The birds have left my strawberries alone today but I don't fancy one this morning....(I ate a whole punnet to my self last evening!)
The squirrels are doing acrobatics in the garden trying to get the nuts and seeds!

There are 2 baby squirrels, (with mum), and there are 2 young magpies and 2 young pigeons, I haven't seen the other young birds, but they have left the nesting box..................
Oh, yes.......I think that the Heron has breakfasted on a couple of the fish!!!!!

Loads of tadpoles in the pond, wont be long before they will be leaping about the garden!

How do I feel?
No real change.............................................
I am so pleased that there is only one more chemo session to go and then I can concentrate on getting back to normal, or as normal as it gets after all of this..............

11th June - 12th day of 5th chemo cycle

Well, no real change in the way I feel....
Still tired....(boring, same old same old...)
Headache on and off
Sore mouth
Sore arm
Lack of motivation
Difficult to concentrate
Nose bleeds on and off
Sore head (hair loss)
unpredictability re continence
heartburn on and off hip joints are hurting intermittently, not sure if it is connected, or that I am just old and knackered now! lol!
Feet and lower legs still tingly/numb

Back to outfit for the wedding...
I have decided to make my own bag, and adorn a pair of shoes to match. Macrame and gemstones!

My son, Keith, is coming on Monday, so I am really looking forward to that!...Love you Keith!

The bird and strawberry saga.....
Little devils snaffled the nearly ripe strawberry yesterday afternoon!
Well, I have decided to leave the strawberries to them, and go and get a punnet from the market...(or send someone else!)
The birds have got the better of me...clever little things!

It looks like the sun will be shining today, the garden is calling me...just having a wander around the garden is very satisfying.

I also want to say Hi to Gordon, my nephew...he has said such wonderful things about me...made me all emotional and tearful... Thanks Gordon.......(leaving me speechless, which is no mean feat!)

Friday, 10 June 2011

10th June - 11th day of 5tth chemo cycle

Had a great day yesterday!

Went to the I said, although change to my prescription is required, there is no point, as it may change again at the end of the treatment.

Me and the optician did have a bit of a giggle though!!!!!!
Just general silliness, which is always good. (That's one of the reasons I enjoy FB!).

Mum had her eyes checked too.....(killing 2 birds with 1 stone, will be literal if they don't stop getting to my newly ripened strawberries before I do in the mornings! Lol!)
Anyway...although Mum has had lazer treatment on her eyes to remove stuff, she was complaining of these globby things in front of her eyes.......(nothing to worry about though, so that is good, all age related!)

I bought my 'Mother of the Bride' wasn't the plan...but, there it was! What is a girl to do?
I think that it is fab!  To my taste, it fits, it looks good, has the colour theme that Roxanne chose for her wedding, it has the colours that I really like too!
Not what may be considered 'traditional' Mother of the Bride attire, but I think that Roxanne would be disappointed if I went traditional/conventional after all these years! Love you, Roxanne!
Just need shoes and bag now....I know what I want.... finding it, however, is another story!

Went to see my brother, Philip.
He has just moved closer, so, not far to go.
He lives in this fabulous traditional a cottage...all windy and uppy downy roads...very pub or shop, (there would have to be both for me), and there are no street lights at all! He needs a torch to walk the dog, (Sam),...even on his street! Ermmmmm, me being a complete wimp, finds that really eerie.
It is very beautiful, out in the country side, all neighbours have dogs, horses at the garden fence...yes, it is fab!
I shall definitely be going again soon....all that peace and quiet!

This isn't a pic of his cottage, but not far off!

I had loads of rests on the way around the opticians...having lunch..relaxing with Philip....yes. I had a good day yesterday!

Thursday, 9 June 2011

9th June - 10th day of 5th chemo cycle.

Still very tired, although, today, I am going out into town for an opticians appointment...bit confusing, because I was told that there would be no prescription changes, even if they were needed, until the end of the treatment due to ongoing changes in my vision during this time.....however...if I don't go, they will stop sending my replacement contact lenses?????
I know...I am just going to do what I need to do to get my lenses!!!!!!!!

I shall have lunch out, and then I will go and see my brother who has just got himself a new job this end on the country, so he has rented a cottage which he uses during the week, and returns home to Preston at the week ends..

I was reading another under 'other places'......(to the right and down a bit)...
Well, yesterday's post from Carole, is not too far from how I feel at the moment.
Carole talks of the 'not knowing'...which is a real issue for me, and for many other people who have under gone or are under going cancer treatment, please read her, she is very interesting.

Lol! I love animals.......and I don't like to chase any from the garden.
Well, there is this big ginger cat who comes for a visit sometimes. I don't encourage it, but I don't scare it either...(sorry for saying it, no idea of the sex).
Dougal, my little dog, will chase it away though. (Quite right too!)
Anyway, I was wandering around the garden, seeing how my seeds are doing etc.
I left the back door open, as I always do.......
When I entered the kitchen, this cat comes strolling out of the house, cool as a cucumber.
It has been eating Dougal's food.
Dougal was laying in the patch of sum coming through the sitting room window, so he was oblivious.
A few moments later, the cat sat on the other side of the glass, Dougal went bonkers, and went of to protect his territory. Chased the cat back over the fence.

The cat is easily twice Dougal's size!
Now Dougal is wandering around, checking perimeters, all entrances, all windows..he is being a proper little soldier!

Dougal chases squirrels away, but he leaves all the birds alone, in fact sometimes I see Dougal, a pigeon and a magpie sharing the food that has been put down! Same with Robins and blue tits, (might be a great tit, I have a problem distinguishing).
The birds will come very close to me when I sitting really is magical!

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

8th June - 9th day of 5th chemo cycle

I was told that if I am concerned in any way, or it I get various symptoms, I must call the cancer ward and get advice.
Well, I phoned the ward regarding my arm.
Painful, swollen, hot to the touch and very red................
Well, the ward Sister said that she would ring back..........I waited about 4 reply, so I readied myself for bed and was just about to slip into bed, when I had a call.

I was told that this was concerning, and that I should attend the hospital...............................
Off I went.
Anyway..........I have 'phlebitis'.

The following is the information I found on the internet.

Medical Author: Benjamin C. Wedro, MD, FAAEM
Medical Editors: Melissa Conrad Stöppler, MD

Phlebitis Overview

Phlebitis (fle-BYE-tis) means inflammation of a vein. Thrombophlebitis is the term used when a blood clot in the vein causes the inflammation. Thrombophlebitis usually occurs in leg veins, but it may occur in an arm. The thrombus (clot) in the vein causes pain and irritation and may block blood flow in the veins. Phlebitis can occur in both the surface (superficial) or deep veins.
  • Superficial phlebitis affects veins on the skin surface. The condition is rarely serious and, with proper care, usually resolves rapidly. Sometimes people with superficial phlebitis also get deep vein thrombophlebitis, so a medical evaluation is necessary.

Me again now!.................................

There was talk of staying in the hospital......well......No thank you!.....................
I think that the main concern was that the symptoms that were initially in the lower part of my arm only, had shown signs of spreading to the upper arm too.
Well, after examination and discussion, it was decided that I would go home, visit my own Doctor the next day, (today), and give him a letter that the hospital Doctor had given me.
I also had to assure the Doctor that in the event of there being any change, that I would return immediately to the hospital.
So...I agreed. and went home....yay!!!!!!

No real changes to report...much the same as yesterday.

Dull and over cast outside, I am going to see if there is another strawberry ready for me, and then I think that I will go back to bed because I am so tired!!!!!!

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

7th June - 8th day of 5th chemo cycle

Yesterday morning I felt a bit unwell, started to feel better as the day went on.
I had to take mum for a Doctor's appointment in the morning, (just around the corner), and to the clinic in the afternoon to have her Warfarin levels checked.
Arm is still hurting. I will check it out today.

I was sitting in the garden at 03.30 this morning, it was just getting light, and the birds were singing.
(Combination of heartburn and my arm stopped me from sleeping).
I did go back to bed, and got up again at 07.30.
The birds were still singing, but the skies were overcast, and still are..............

I think that I will start Roxanne's wedding jewellery today.

I am still getting tired very easily, and napping as and when I feel the need to.....this isn't going to help me sleep through the night...but hey ho....needs must.

My feet aren't too swollen now, but I am still experiencing numbness in both of my feet, this hasn't got worse, but it doesn't seem to be improving either. Of course...NOT getting worse is the key phrase! Yay!
Still having continence isssues, but I am convinced that this will improve after the end of all the treatment.
Tinnitus.........pretty real permanent change there.

All in all, I have been pretty lucky, things could have been so much worse!

Had some more of my home grown salad stuff yesterday for dinner,   oooooo, it is lovely!
Home made salad dressing!     Mmmmmmmmmm.

I spied a couple of my strawberries ripening....I shall be eating them straight from the bush. I counted 36!
Shhhhhhhh, don't let Mum know, 'cos I know that she will nab them is she sees them!

Monday, 6 June 2011

6th June - 7th day of 5th Chemo cycle

I had a bad day yesterday.
I slept for most of it!
I felt really weak and tired all day.
I had no physical strength, even brushing my teeth was a real effort.
My left arm became very swollen and painful between the wrist and the elbow.
Still hurts this morning.
I think that it has something to do with the veins.....probably knackered after all of the needles and cannulas!

It is a bit too early to say how I feel today, but so far so good!

I know that after the treatment is over, I should start to feel better, and and the way I feel should be more consistent, so that is good.
I know that when the treatment is over, there will be no further treatment, that is good too!
I know that I will be monitored to see how things are going...another positive!
Only 8 weeks to Roxanne's wedding.....more too look forward too.
I am still expecting some good weather, after all, summer has only just begun!
The garden is looking good.

So....loads of good stuff to outweigh the bad!

Saturday, 4 June 2011

5th June - 6th day of 5th chemo cycle

I had a good morning yesterday, did some bits and pieces.....

Yesterday afternoon, I felt a little unwell. Can't really put my finger on it...just generally unwell.
My feet are still very swollen and tingly.
This morning I have that very sore feeling all over my body, I get it for at least one day whith each chemo cycle, but I know that that will be gone by late tonight.
Heart burn is a bit of an issue, and continence is still an issue.  And the same old, same old, being tired!

I have had an appointment to see the oncologist i the post yesterday, but this is after the next chemo session, I have an appointment before too, is one replacing the other, should I go on both....I don't know, I have to check it out!

I ate loads of salad yesterday............
Well, I am getting into growing my own stuff, and I was a bit enthusiastic when I planted it out, so, I had to eat loads yesterday, or get a rabbit! lol!
It was very nice though....mum made her famous salad dressing.......

Well, only one more chemo cycle to go.......I think that I may have this party that I have been promising myself when it is over....just need to motivate myself a bit!


Friday, 3 June 2011

4th June - 5th Day of 5th chemo cycle

It was a beautiful day. The weather was fantastic.
With out Roxanne and her bloody annoying alarm going off every time I needed to take my meds...I went a bit haywire....but all sorted.

My feet are very tingly, and my feet and calves are really swollen. It is difficult to bend my ankles and knees, but I am sure that it will all sort its self out eventually.
They are a little less bloated today, but I expect that they will grow as the day goes on.

I have been lucky so far, no sickness....Yay!
Heart burn, palpitations, tinnitus, swelling  and tingly legs and feet, continence issues, tiredness and lethargy are the worst symptoms so far, but I am sure that I will get over it!

I think that I will sit down in the garden today and paint the fence in the back garden, the little one, I can sit and take my time and just have a general 'pootle' around the garden! Weather is looking promising today again.

My head is very sore where my hair is coming out again, and even laying on the pillow is very uncomfortable, I didn't feel it like this last time, but I dare say that it will be short lived, because when my hair is gone, it's gone.

I would like to say that my eyelashes grew back very dark, think and long, so I would quite like to keep them, unlikely though that is.
My eyebrows are patchy, be I am drawing them where I want them! lol!

I picked up my dilator yesterday, well, Derek did, and it comes with a DVD, relaxation information for when you are using it. I haven't looked at it yet, but a little daily job that I thought was only going to take a few seconds, looks like it is a half an hour job at least....bummer! Will let you know what it involves when I have had a little look.

I will be starting to make Roxanne's wedding jewellery some time this week, she has picked her gems, so I can crack on now.

Have a good day, where ever you are!