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Saturday, 30 June 2012

1st July 2012

I am off to Leicester to deliver the final bits and, new vacuum,wheelie shopping trolley with odds and sods in it, 2 feather pillows, and some new sheets for Roxanne, that she couldn't get into her case last time.

Jean is coming with me because every one moans at me if I drive any where alone.
I don't mind, I do enjoy good company on a drive, the time flies!

I was tired yesterday, and I put it down to the evening before, having said that, I am still tired today. I had to have 4 naps in the day yesterday.
Dougal is fine with one, and will lay with me,,,,,any more, and he seems to get very agitated.

The other thing that I have noticed over the past couple of days, is that it takes ages to get out of bed, having to do it all in baby steps. Then I am a bit doddery on my feet for the first 5 minutes or so.

I have re- introduced the oromorph, with my morphine tablets, and I do feel a little more nauseous, but have not been sick. So, I think that I will re-introduce it on every other day....see how that goes.

My hair has grown back quite a bit, and I will go out with out my head gearheikan.
It is growing back like a curly Mohekan

I do have hair where this lovely lady has none, but it is very curly so it looks shorter.

I will have it cut to half the length, then I can still wear head gear, and leave it naked.

OK, I need a little nap, to make sure that I am OK to drive to Leicester.
See you all soon, and have a great Sunday.

Her we are, the last day of June....and where is summer?
Hey ho.........suppose I will just have to try and believe that it is summer in my heart at least!

I have been approached by Compton Hospice, who were approached by a production company, who are commissioned by Channel 4 to do a documentary on death and dying.
I do think that I would like to get involved with this, but I need a bit more info.
I will keep you updated.

Dot and Pete took me out last night, to a UB40 Tribute Evening. I really enjoyed it, I danced as much as I could.
I only had 3 of those tiny bottles of Blossom Hill wine, and I was all giggly, and relatively uninhibited!

OK., this picture may not be directly connected to being a little merry, she she does look very uninhibited....and what an interesting character she appears to be.

Any way, at home time, Dot and Pete got me a taxi, and home I went.
Well, I gave the address to the number just street.
When we arrived, I said here will do, thanks.
Ohhhhhhh dear!
I knew that I was close, but could I find the house, NO!
How stupid is that?
I had to ring Derek and ask him to stand by the gate so I could see where I lived!!!!!

After talking about Tilda in yesterday's blog, Claire said that her friend txt her, pretending to be a dog warden and said that complaints had been made about Tilda's behaviour.....Lol!
Well, Claire phoned me....we had a good laugh, and then discussed the 'only getting the back end wet' issue.

I explained that there were some little black fish in the pond, and loads of tadpoles and baby frogs.

I cant tell you what she said....and she said it in all innocence, but it came out quite rude.
Claire asked me not to mention it!

Claire, I can't, but if enough of you really want to know, I will tell you in tomorrows blog........hehehhehehehhe, oh what fun!

Friday, 29 June 2012

The second time that I have done this today.....nearly finished pressed the wrong button, and it all deleted itself!!!!!!!!!

Well, the results wont be the same, because they are already different!

Claire came for a visit last evening......the roads were all snarled up because of the surprise flash floods....all over the country apparently.

Anyway, she made it, and Tilda came too.
Tilda is completely bonkers! I don't know how she did it, but she jumped in to the fish pond, and the only wet bits were from her wait to the paws on her back legs...the front was dry! How the hell did she do that?
We had a great evening of just chatting and drinking coffee. Dougal was fine with Tilda, as usual, unless Tilda tried to jump on my lap, then Dougal was having none of it! Bless my little protector!

Another friend of mine has a dog called George....he is bats....poor sweetie has to have counselling! He is so scared of everything, makes you wonder what his life was like before Jacky rescued him. Anyway, Dougal is going to the groomers again on Wednesday, and! is coming to have his nails clipped, because he is scared.

Not quite....but neary....

I think that what I am saying, is Dougal is perfect in every way.....which, of course, he is! LOL!
I love my dog, and every one else's! Cats too, in fact everything and every body!

Well, I have been feeling really 'blaaaaaahhhhhh' for about a week.
Now I am feeling a bit better. I have started to take the new anti-sickness meds, and then re-introduced the morphine tablets. Yes, I do feel sick about 8 hours after taking then for about 2 hours.....but lucky me.....I haven't been sick, so I will re-introduce the oramorph and see if that will reduce the pain. The pain hasn't been worse, but it hasn't been less either. It is all manageable though.

This is how I feel...tiredness and! (Probably how I look too).

The people who I don't see daily, say that they can see a increase in looking tired and loosing weight. People that see me daily say that there is no decline.
I feel a decline, although, I don't see it.

The good news is, that apart from having cancer, I am really fit and that is good. I'll drink to that!

The funeral is all sorted now....all the 'T's crossed and the I's dotted.
My Wiccan funeral, as far as we can go without breaking policy and procedure or breaking the law.

Mandy, my friend is taking the 'service'. Thanks Mandy!

The only other thing that I would have liked, is 2 white horses, with orange plums and a carriage.....but I think that the price will be prohibitive. Hey ho, can't complain, I have everything else, including a good quality of life. Thanks. :)

Mum left on Wednesday, and the house seems a bit empty. I was a bit emotional, and I do really miss her. She is in the best place, she will settle, make friends and enjoy a good social life, and Roxanne is close by, so I must stop being selfish, and rejoice.

My last words today, are to thank Keith and Roxanne for blogging for me when I was feeling unable.
Thanks to you both, and I love you very much.

Monday, 25 June 2012

Good Morning all....well, I'm back.....would have been back last night, but Keith hogged the computer!

I really want to thank Keith and Roxanne for keeping the blog going when I was particularly tired. What a great job they did! Thanks to both of you.

Well,Keith has left for a meeting in Gatwick this morning, and Roxanne will be here at about 09.45, when I will pick her up from the station! Lol!

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, now I have a feeling of loss of!

I will try to start where Keith and Roxanne left off.

OK., The new meds have had time to circulate my system now, so I have started the extra morphine again.

Well, not really sure how it is going yet, I took the Zoromorph twice yesterday, and already, I am feeling a bit sick, the operative word is 'feeling', so hopefully, that is how it will remain. I haven't made my mind up about continuing with the Zoromorth today or if I should leave so that the operative word remains 'feeling' and not 'being' sick.

Whilst I was at 'Compton in The Park', (A fund raising event for Compton Hospice), the daughter of a famous singer came for a card reading. Natalie Graham. Natalie is a singer and song writer in her own right, but she also managers her mother, Jakie Graham, who has had number one hits in America, and was very well know in the 80's/90's.

Jakie is an Ambassador for Compton Hospice, and I am hoping to meet her on a Thursday in the near future.
She has a new album coming out is really worth a listen.

Oooooooo, meeting the 'Stars', how fantastic!

Moving on,
As you know, I can only sleep on my left side or on my tummy....well, sod's law....I have a pressure sore on my left ear!!!!! I know, I don't believe it either!

Anyway, I went to get some new pillows, those that 'contour the head, even the ears, just need to wait and see now!

As I said, Mum is leaving for good tomorrow, this is going to feel really strange, and I will miss her, so I am feeling a bit sad and emotional, but I do know that it is all for the 'Crisis' Management needed here!!!!!!

I want to give you all a great big thank you for staying with me despite my absence!
Thank you!

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Hello this is Keith (Carols hansom son). I'm appearing as guest blogger today as Carol is quite tired.

What's Carol been up to?

Well..... Mum went to Leicester on Thursday with Nan and a van of furniture so that was day of self assembly flat pack furniture. Unfortunately there was no interweb in Leicester for mum to blogg.

On Friday mum went out with nan to get food for the flat in Leicester and went out for Dinner with Rox, Tom, Jacky (Toms mum), Jim (Toms granddad) and Bernie (Toms sister). Nan and mum got back from Leicester late that night.

Yesterday mum did some pottering about but mostly rested. I arrived at the house at about 4:30 just in time to help mum move some furniture and set up the drum kit downstairs in its new home. After this we eagerly awaited tea which was being prepared by Derek. After peeling the potatoes Derek decided a Chinese was a better option. Mum had duck pancakes, Derek had Beef Chowmein, I had kung po duck and nan had an omelet.

Today me mum and Derek went to Compton in the park (a small festival type event organised by Compton to raise money). Mum had agreed to read cards at the event to raise money. We were up early (before 9 which is early for me). We left the house and got to west park under Derek's directions. We arrived just before 9 and were directed to our gazebo. It was a wonderful green affair with a table and two chairs. Me and Derek hug the canvas walls to give privacy for the readings and mum decorated the interior with various hangings. The end result was an inviting and colourful nomadic like enclosure of which any wondering pedaller of mystic advice would have been proud. Imagen if you will an Arabian Sultan's cushion strewn paler of entertainment. Fine vibrant silk throws hang from columns creating small areas of seclusion. Incense wafts from burners creating spectral shapes in the early morning light. In the centre of the room is a large round table a foot of the ground. Roughly crafty from the trunk of an ancient tree it shows signs of decades of use. Laid upon the table is a silk cloth covered a spiral pattern of what appear to be symbols. However with floating shadows of the hanging throws and drifting incense the symbols appear to move denying you their secrets. A knowing yet reassuring voice asks you to sit. And that's exactly what the gazebo wasn't like.

A few moments after tediously setting up the gazebo (which was the last in a terrace of others) a gust of wind swept across pushing each gazebo into the next resulting in four snapped legs for mums. Swifty repair by a Compton warden and back to business.

So while mum read cards I went to get a hot dog. Armed with my hot dog I went to explore the event. The weather was rain followed by not as much rain followed by some more rain so I got an umbrella for £3 from a charity stand. Now armed with my hot dog and umbrella I couldn't hold anything else. I resolved this issue swiftly and headed off. Firstly I went to a stand where you could try your hand at archery. 3 in the blue one in the gold and one rouge arrow which from child hood had longed for nothing moor then to be fired wildly into the air in a Wolverhampton park (there was no stopping it).

I returned to mums gazebo where there was a queue to see her so I went of to find Derek (He was asleep in the car where he spent the rest of the event). So off I went again. I watched a few bands and then headed back to the gazebo. Mum was free and had made £50 in 2 hours. Gene stopped by to see how things were going a got her self a rose plant.

After this I went to watch a team of amateur dog trainers doing tricks which was actually very good.

After this I went back to the stage where Wolverhampton's renowned Bridgnorth Ukulele Band were performing the Zuton's Valerie. Now extremely excited about the ukulele I negotiated a lesson with two of the band in return for £1 but so good was the lesson I gave 2. I can now play c, G and F the basis for most songs.

Back to mums gazebo where tiredness had kicked in and mum had decided to pack up. Emma and John with there children Reece and Camron arrived to say hi. Mum had raised £100 and even read the cards for the daughter of Jaki Graham a famous singer.

Back home for tea.

Hopefully mum will be able to update the blogg herself next time. Thank you for reading (Sorry there were no pictures I don't know how to do that) Cheers from Keith.

Monday, 18 June 2012

Hi all,
Roxanne here, Mum is feeling a bit unwell, so I am doing this today.
Ok, well mum has been to the Dr. today, and despite what she may have told you she has been very worried about this.
The Dr. has had a good old poke around and he does not think that it is compression of the spinal cord, however this is still something that we must keep an eye on, just in case.

Sadly all the new pain mum is experiencing is due to the cancer spreading.
Hopefully the new anti sickness pills should allow her to take her morphine again. :) (This should ease the pain).
She seems a lot happier now that she knows it's not the compression.
All the poking and positions the Dr. had mum laying in have left her in a lot of pain.
This is why I'm writing this blog now.
After so long laying on her back at the Dr. she just doesn't have the energy or will to do it herself.

Now, I Know after all the boring Dr, stuff, mum likes to lighten the tone.
So,..... true to form I have an anicdote that I'm sure you will all find funny.
So....... I was due to arrive in Wolverhampton this morning at 9.50, Mum knew this because we spoke the day before. Mum assured me that she could pick me up, so I would'n need to get a taxi to hers.
I asked if she was sure and she said,

'Ok' I said.
'But if you cant just txt me and ill get a taxi.'

Well, at 10.00, still no mum.
I called her to ask if she is coming or if I needed to get a cab.
No answer.
I waited a bit longer and called again.
Still no answer.
I rang my nan because she now has a mobile phone.
Surprise! Surprise! No answer!!!!!
Now it's about 10.15.
I try mum one last time! No answer! I get a cab anyway.

Once at mums I find that she is in bed after having a rough night. (which is fine, she does need her rest after all).

Anyway, when mum gets up, she is all confused as to how I arrived at her house!
She was convinced that she still had lots of time left to come a get me. She thought that she had only been napping for less than an hour.......and asked why I had arrived early with out telling her!
Turns out she had popped for a nap and was hoping to be up at 9.30 ish. (Which was actually 11.30!)
'Why didn't you txt me and say you were going to nap?'
I asked.
She said,
If I had known that you were going to early I would have not napped, and, even if I did, I can't txt whilst sleeping!

What can you do??

I know that mum has already done a blog for today, but I thought it would be a good idea to keep you all posted on the Dr. as I don't think that she will be well enough to do it herself tomorrow.
So if there is no post then you know why.
Don't Know what pics mum would normally use but I hope you enjoy my choice.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Monday 18th June 2012

Went to Bristol so see Robert, and then had lunch with Ann and Dave.

As you know, Claire drove.
It was a great day, and I enjoyed it all.

Robert was well and happy, the sun was shining.

We met Ann and Dave for lunch, we ate outside, the food was great....and Tilda was very well behaved.

Despite sitting whilst being driven then, sitting whilst visiting Robert, sitting whilst eating, and sitting whilst being driven 3.00pm I was really tired! How strange is that! By 6.00pm, I was in my pj's and completely exhausted!

Today Roxanne is coming, so that is good, I then have to take Mum to have her bloods checked, and straight to the doctors to have a check for this spinal compression thing.

I am sure that all will be well, but I am still a bit nervous.

AND, I am still very tired after Friday and yesterday.....starting to look like one pj day is not enough.............
To be fair, I have been told to expect the tiredness to get more frequent and to last for longer.

Well, that is me done for today, I will report back re my little test, so in the meantime, hope that you all have a great day!

Sunday 17th June 2012

Hi all!
As you know, I went to Leicester on Friday, to take some stuff to Mum's new place.
I picked Roxanne up on the way.
Well, we unpacked some stuff and put it away, that too about 2-3 hours, that's not bad really, the drive there was only about 1 hour.

When that was done, we decided to have a little walk to see if there was any where within walking distance to have lunch.

Well, there was, and what a great place it turned out to be!

It is called,
'The Gate Bistro',
and it is on Braunstone Gate, in Leicester.

If you ever go to that neck of the woods, I strongly recommend it.

The food was fabulous, the staff were very helpful and friendly, and the music playing in the back ground was very good too.

We sat at the table that you can just see behind the sofa and pillar. Really great! I will certainly go there again.

Anyway, after lunch, we went to buy a fridge, so off the the retail park.
We found just what Mum wanted, so we bought it, load it into the car, took it to Mum's place and installed it.

Then we took Roxanne home, and came home.

The drive was horrendous! Accidents galore, rain, road works....Grrrrrrrrr.

It took over 2 hours to get home. Arrived home after 7pm. I was exhausted.

Add rain, and that is a pretty accurate picture! Lol!

Saturday, I was still shattered, so I spent all of Friday evening and all day Saturday in my pj's, drifting in and out of sleep all day.

Jean and young Dave came for a short visit. That was nice.

To be honest, I am still tired this morning.

Today, Claire is driving me to Bristol to see Robert, and then we are meeting Ann and Dave for a meal.
Claire is bringing Tilda, the beautiful but batty black lab!

Tomorrow, I have to take Mum to have her bloods done, and then I have to go to the Doctor to get another confirmation check that I don't have a spinal cord compression.
Roxanne is coming too.

I also need to get these new meds into my system so that I can have another go at taking extra and or longer lasting morphine for my you know, it makes me sick, so I am having to choose between throwing up or having pain. Right now, I would sooner have pain!

In fact, I am beginning to wonder if the sickness is really the morphine, because I feel sick, with being sick on and off most days any way.
Oh well, it will all be sorted soon enough.

This what I want to be doing, but I don't want any precious time wasted on sleep.......I will be able to rest soon enough!

Thursday, 14 June 2012

A couple of things that I meant to mention yesterday, but I forgot, whist ranting on about other stuff........
This is on a light note!

Before I went to Compton Hospice yesterday, I had my daily shower.
I looked up at the extraction fan vent thing in the ceiling....and it looked a mess.
I had asked Derek to remove it and clean it...(I can't reach), and he said that it wasn't possible............
Any way, I was that fed up with it, I finished my shower, and then aimed the shower head at the vent, and gave it a jolly good blasting!

Well, I know that you have all guessed what happened!

All the dirt that I 'shot' came dripping down, the ceiling was soaking wet, all the water and stuff was dripping down the inside and outside of the shower glass....and I was covered in it too!

So,still naked, I got a towel, and jumping up and down, flicked it all over the ceiling and the vent until I was certain that no more drips were coming.

I had to clean the inside of the shower (again). Clean the glass outside the shower, the tiles, well the whole bloody bath room.

Then, of course, I had to have another shower, using clean towels.

It was a bit of a fiasco, but at least the thing is clean now!

Couldn't find a pic of an older woman jumping up and down in the shower naked, with a towel, so I thought you might like this one instead.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.....think I will 'drip dry' thanks!

Today, I am off to Leicester to take some of Mum's stuff, the kitchen stuff mainly, her bed is being delivered today too, so that can be made up.
Roxanne will be there to help. So should be a character building day!

Have a great day!

Today I was at Compton Hospice for most of the day.
Had a few giggles, a lovely lunch and my weekly constitutional walk around the gardens.

I spoke with my McMillan Nurse, with regards to the pain, well, a new anti sickness medication has been prescribed, this should allow me to take more morphine, and as I do, I should be able to increase the amount of morphine that I take and then maybe go on the patches again with the oral morphine.....just need to wait and see now. I am, thinking,
'You're terminally ill, you have got cancer, and you will be dead by the end of the year, if not before....what else can go wrong?'

Seems that there is LOADS of stuff that could go wrong and make things worse!

Of course, pain is one....but there is more!!!

In bloody credible!
What a bag of bollocks!!

When I was speaking to my McMillan Nurse, I mentioned that the top of my legs felt like the knicker elastic was tight in the leg bits, giving me pins and needles....(I don't have leg knicker elastic). I also mentioned that very occasionally, my left knee gives way when I am walking and that my back pain had not decreased.....and bowels/bladder, (we have already discussed this).

As quick as a flash, she said, now this could be serious, and explained some stuff that I will go into a bit later in this blog.
Any way, she examined my back. Did a bit of gentle tapping..........

Seems that there is nothing to worry to much about, but I have been told that I must MENTION THIS TO MY doctor ASAP!

Well, I am going on Monday any way, because I think that I have a bloody ear infection!

OK, that's by the by......
The thing that my Nurse was concerned with is associated with bone cancer, which, as you know, is one of mine......(bless, made it sound like a pet or something!)
Swiftly moving on.......

Spinal Cord Compression.

Not common, but affects 1:20 people who have cancer.

Warning signs.

Pain in spine affecting chest/belly positional sleep.
Tingling numbness like pins and needles in arms/legs/spine
Electric shocks in similar places.
Legs giving way, wobbly legs, difficulty walking.

Spinal cord compression, if untreated or there is a delay in treatment can lead to permanent damage and even paralysis.

If you feel that this may be you....please go and see some one immediately!

For more information go to the McMillan website, the link is in 'my other places' on the right of this blog some where.

Radiotherapy/surgery/chemo would be options for treatment.

Any way.......after my nurse gave me an examination, she said that all appeared to be OK, but wanted me to be checked by my Doctor.

She also said that she was making me aware of the consequences of ignoring something like this, and said that she was being particularly firm with me.........
the implication being that I have an aversion to taking anything seriously if it means that I need to go to a Doctor or a hospital, when I want to go out and play!

Well, she isn't wrong, so I promise that I will have it checked out on Monday, which is the earliest appointment.

Have a great day tomorrow, and a fantastic week end!

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Well, I am coping quite well with my 'new' feeling good!
I had a great afternoon out with Bill and Jean yesterday.
We went to a new French Bistro in Shrewsbury called 'Bistro Jaques'. It was very busy, and the food was good. (As was the company.)

I had a few moments of melancholia earlier in the know, a bit of looking back and assessing....have I been good enough....have I done all that I could have....that sort of stuff.......blimey, made loads of mistakes, and I have forgiven myself for most..............
But do you know what came to me....well of course you don't...silly me....well I shall share.

When I was about 12 years old, I was lusting after this crimaplene skirt, in an orange colour 'A' line cut. (Crimp. was a real thing then). order to see and lust, I had to take an alternative route home from school.
On this one day, another girl from the school, who always used that route, came and walked with me. I knew that she went to the same school, but I didn't really know her.
Any way.....just chatting.....she said,
'My Dad gets into bed with me when Mum is out.'

I had never heard of such a thing, and to imagine it was way beyond my capabilities.
I think that I may have responded with something like...
'Ewwww, that's horrid,does your Mum know?'
She said some thing unrelated, and skipped off to wards her home, and I went on a way to lust after my skirt.

I did get the skirt eventually, but I never saw that girl again. She has come and gone in my mind so many times over the years from the time that I learned that these things did happen. I often wonder what happened to her. If you are out there some where....well, I am sorry that I didn't do more, forgive me.

I was quite tired when I came home from my meal out, despite the fact that Jean drove.
Straight in to jim jams and flopped on the couch, then, watched a lot of mindless rubbish on T.V.............

I don't think that the pain levels are getting greater, I just know that I am getting pain in more places! LOL! I will be at Compton Hospice today and see if we can try something else to ease it.
I still have a black idea how I got it!

I was up at 04.30 this morning. I had some pain and decided to stay up, as I would be getting up at about 06.00 anyway.
Had a coffee, and then sat on the 'chaise long' to write this up and see the birds and animals in the garden.
(Chaise Long........posh or wot!! Lol!)

Me and Dougal, snuggled, he likes to help with this blog, he casts his eye over every word and picture you know!!!! Lol!

Any way, there we were discussing my rantings.......when, suddenly, this beautiful fox leapt from next door and landed in the garden, she is usually so quick to jump the next fence, but she didn't!

She walked quite confidently towards the window, stood and stared, Dougal stood and stared back.
I could see her very clearly as she was only about 8 feet away. I think that she is an older fox, and I say 'she', because she squatted when she piddled on the lawn.
(I reckon a he would have cocked his leg up the fence).

Dougal started to bark, the fox turned tail, and leapt over the next fence.
I had to let Dougal out then, because he was beside himself with excitement!

It's amazing what you can see in the early hours. Certainly an experience that I am happy not to have missed.......there is even a positive side to waking in pain! I would have missed that other wise!

Tomorrow, I am taking Mum to her new 'pad' and taking all the kitchen stuff to put in their new places. Roxanne will be there to work, I will just orchestrate proceedings from the comfort of my seat by the 'Juliet Balcony!' Now......just need some one to peel me a grape................................

Day off on Saturday, Sunday, Claire is picking me up and we are going to Bristol to see Robert. Whilst we are there, we will call and see Ann and Dave.
We will be taking Tilda, Claire's black Labrador..........bonkers as a box of frogs!
(Claire's not too far behind on the 'nutty scale' either.)

Well, I think that that is about it for today.
Have a great day!