Saturday 31st March

Good Morning!!
I had a busy day yesterday, so no blog again...sorry.

Just for information....during the course of next week, there will be two guest bloggers, so that will be cool. I will give more information as we go along.

Roxanne arrived yesterday morning. I went to pick her up from the station, and we went to Compton Hospice to pick my glasses up. I had left them there the day before.

About an hour later Keith arrived.
We chatted and had tea's an d coffee's watched DVD'S.
We also went on line looking for a house to rent for a week that will sleep 18-24 people, so that I can have a week with all of my friends and family around at the same time!
I really do want to do this.
We found a couple of places, we will have booked one by Wednesday I hope.

Claire came with Tilda, (her lovely dog).
This time Dougal didn't pay much attention, and they even played together!
Well, as usual, we were just laughing, when we are together, everything seems to be really funny. She is great!

The two dos together looked bit like this Lol!

We were both a bit nervous that Mum would come out and tell us off...Lol!
It was like being back at school, hoping not to get caught smoking behind the bike shed.......I don't know, behaving like adults can get a bit boring...lol!

Today, me Keith and Roxanne are going to stay with Philip and Dawn. Looking forward to that.
We will be back on Sunday, when Keith and Roxanne need to go back home.

Hope that you all have a great day!

Thursday 29th March 2012

Ok....where to start?
Ah! I know!
Sorry for not blogging yesterday .........I had a call today making sure that I was OK!
Bless you Jeanie!

You will soon understand why I wasn't here...............

Tuesday afternoon, I went to the garden centre to get some plants...I love to sit in the garden, the weather is good, so I want to make it more attractive.........Anyway,
I bought some plants!

Yesterday, I had my drama group in the evening.......if you remember, I didn't go last week because I had a nap in the after noon to see if I could last the evening, which is more than I managed the week before .............
So...........

I saw these plants that I bought, sitting on the side, begging to be planted!
Me thinks,
'Ooooooo, if I make myself as busy as possible today, doing physical stuff, I may be able to get enough adrenaline going so that I can last the evening at drama class'.

So I dug, planted, weeded and so on.........resting regularly..............

Hmmmph....what a bag of bollocks that idea was!

Dashed in to shower at 6 ish...dressed, out the door....arrived at Drama class at 7.30.
8 ish, I am hanging! 9, I made my apologies and left, explaining to the organiser
that as much as I wanted to do this, my body just was not going to let me do 'stuff' in the evening .

So, sadly I have to give up that idea.

But.......Traaaaaa Laaaaaaa!

I do have a number for drum lessons now, I will ring tomorrow...........

I still have loads more to tell you, so it's going to be a long one today....sorry Roxanne! Lol!
After all, it is 2 days worth!

Richard, 'The Ninja Chef' performed a couple of culinary delights this week, AND.....he even stayed and ate with us on one occasion! Lol!

I went to Compton Hospice today, I didn't really do very much.....................
Two regular ladies were absent this week.............
Lynn, sadly passed away on Tuesday, a lovely lady, I was only chatting to her last Thursday. R.I.P Lynn. You will be missed by us all..

The other lady no longer feels the need to attend! How fab is that!

I was feeling really emotional and tearful.
I was really pleased when the holistic therapist called me, I was a bit concerned that I would cry in public!
I had a chat, and my treatment.
This helped me by realising why I felt like this.
I was angry....bloody angry.!

Why is it that in the last 11 days, 3 wonderful people have died, and so many really bad, cruel and evil people are just wandering around doing their nasty deeds, and nothing seems to happen to them!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I got it all of my chest this morning any way, so I am safe now! Lol!

This after noon, the photographers were there, taking pics for publicity for Compton Hospice, and to up date the blog. We ALL had to have our pictures taken!

Hehehehehe....Like I said before............

Look out Hollywood, I might get there yet! Lol!

Save me a star! Lol!

Tuesday 27th March 2012

What a glorious morning!
When I woke this morning, Harry the Heron was in the pond again!
(he needs a slap on the wrist....pinching my fish......)

I've been thinking about the animals in the garden, I bet it sounds like I have a huge one in the middle of the countryside...(I wish...)
No, not at all, it is about 40'-50' long and about 24' wide. There are other houses and gardens each side, and to the back.

I've been really lucky with he animals who do visit, we have had:_
Harry, the Heron,
Don and Daisy ducks,
Freddie the fox,
Pigeons, Blue tits, black birds, magpies, and many other birds that I have been unable to identify.
We did have a bull finch...he looked at the bird boxes and decided that the accommodation was not to his taste and flew off

I had a dream last night, and all of the animals were in the garden at the same time.....wow, wouldn't that be great!

The only thing missing in the dream, was me sitting in the middle of them, singing,
'One day my Prince will come'. Lol!

OK....Now to how I feel.................
Ooooooo, Daisy duck has just landed, sorry, just got a bit side tracked.....
Any way, how I feel..

My blog is self indulgent for most part, but I like to share information...
The following is mainly for people who are in a similar situation, that want to know, or need to know what to expect at certain points along the journey.
Do not read any further if you do not want to know.

Bearing in mind that I was told I have 2 - 4 months.
Each day, I feel a little more tired than the day before, I have a little more pain than I had the day before, things are changing a bit quicker than before.

Sleeping can be difficult. I lay in one position and sleep, no problem.
As soon as I choose to turn over, the pain comes. If I lay on my left, the right side of my body, front and back give pain. If I lay on my back, my groin and left back cause pain. It takes ages to get back to sleep, If I get back to sleep at all. I usually get up and take more pain killers.
My little cough now brings phlegm.
Tiredness and lethargy are increasing.
I still have tinnitus.
My hands shake quite a lot now.
Occasional incontinence issues, but you never know when, so I need to be prepared! lol! I am less able to take very deep breaths..........
My hair doesn't seem to be growing back, bit as you know, I don't care!
Eye lashes still coming out, eye brows growing back a bit, but where I don't wnat them! Lol!

OK, You can read on if you like.....
The good news is that I am still breathing and enjoying my life!

All that having been said, it could be worse.
I am still able to do the things that I want to, most of them anyway, I just have to pace myself, and ensure that every other day is a rest day.
And looking on the bright side, end of April is the 4 months, and I am still feeling relatively well.
And as I said earlier on, I am still breathing, I am alive, I am enjoying my life, I am still very able.
Compton Hospice has all my 'bits and pieces' under control!

Monday 26th March 2012

A lovely evening here, and it has been a lovely day.
Doreen and Jo came to see me from work, and they brought a beautiful card with them, signed by friends and colleagues from work.....(I am so pleased), being away for such a long time, I was a bit worried that I would be forgotten!

They gave me some very good news too....so a double goody!

Claire has agreed to to a guest blogger and talk about getting your pensions when you are terminally ill, so that is great. I hope that it will help many people.
Hooooray!

Don came on his own yesterday, but Don and Daisy are here today. Hmmmmmmm.....that has really confused me.....looks like I am not going to be a Mum just yet then!

Yes, I know!!!!! YOU try and find a picture that says 'not a mum' then!

Me, Roxanne and Keith are going to spend the week end with Philip and Dawn, (my brother and sister in law)....and as I said......they have chickens!

Ooooooooooo, and Philip has drums!!!!!!!!

Sunday 25th March 2010

The day has been beautiful!
I sat out in the garden for most of the day. It was fantastic!

I have been really thirsty for the past couple of days, so I have been drinking a lot more than usual............that, of course has it's consequences! Didn't really want to stray too far!

I did a couple of machines of washing, that was something that I could do with my eyes shut, at the same time as doing loads of other things!

Not now! I was huffing and blowing after each load, and the whole of the time in between, I had to use to recover!

Because the clocks went back yesterday, I was thinking that I may be able to stay up an extra hour......you know, fool my body a bit. Well, it didn't work! I eyes are drooping now! Lol! (Me thinks that my body is cleverer than I thought!)

The pain seems to be a little more intense, but the good news is, that it isn't more often! I have been having a couple of dizzy spells, but there could be so many reasons for that, the same as the headaches.

I have visitors from work tomorrow afternoon, so that will be nice. I should be spending the week end with my brother and Roxanne....I must confirm that too. I know that he and Dawn, his wife, have just bought some chikens, so I am looking forward to seeing those too.

Saturday 24th March 2012

Good morning!
The weather is glorious, I can sit outside with my coffee........(having said that, I sit outside come rain or shine, day or night, there's just some thing so magical about it).
So maybe the best way to say it......other people are sitting outside with me too! Lol!

For those of you who don't know me, this is what I look like.
For those who do know me....Shhhhhhhhhhh.

Don and Daisy have been coming daily, but only Don today......Hmmmmmm.
Perhaps she is sitting on her eggs! Ooooooo goody! We may have ducklings soon!

I entered the writing competition, now I have to wait 5 weeks to see if I came any where near........I will send another two entries, because each person can enter a maximum of 3 pieces.

OK, OK, You can stop laughing now!

Now, I am going to be telling some truths .......so if you think that you may get upset, don't read the next bit............

The pain is increasing, not only that, it hangs around for longer too.
The greatest pain is to the right side of my trunk....front and back, it feel like all my insides are too big and are bursting out.

The next pain is in my left groin....it feels like there are bricks or something heavy in there pulling at the bones and muscles. I cant bend the hip as I used to. The pain can wake me.
No worries though, the other leg and hip are fine! So that's good news.

The next pain is on the left, in my back. It hurts if I need to take a deep breath.
So, I try not to exert myself so that I am out of puff....that helps a bit,
(and it gets me out of some domestic chores, well, most of them actually.......hehehe).

Me? Take advantage of the situation? Never? (I have got my fingers crossed, lol!)

I still have a mild cough, that mild that it isn't really worth mentioning.

Incontinence is getting to be more of an issue, but, because of the fantastic nurses at Compton Hospice, I have all the 'gear' that I need to manage it all.
The nurses have also upped my pain medication, so....Bob's your uncle!

OK...........You softies can start reading again now!

Don't know if you remember, but when I went to town with my friend Sandra, I saw a skirt, blouse and floaty top type thing.........well, I looked, and oooooo'ed and ahhhhh'ed, but did I get them? No!

I then went to town with Roxanne and my Mum, I saw the same out fit, so more ooooooing and ahhhhing. The floaty top thing was reduced in price, and it was the last one, so I bought it.

Well, now, a week later, all I can think about is this skirt and blouse.....actually, I am bloody obsessed with them!

Next time I am in town, I WILL buy them, but sod's law says that they aren't there any more!
The moral of this story, if you see something that you like, and you don't have to starve for a week to pay for it.....get it!

That is my good advice.................a bit like this, there will be consequences!

Hope that you all have a good day and take advantage of the weather!
Hugs! x

Friday 23rd March 2012

Hi everyone.

OK, today I thought that I would share some very important information with you all.

It came to my attention that not every one is aware of this.............
If you have been told that you have a terminal illness, and that you are not going to live for more than 12 months, it is possible to get your pensions pain to you in a lump.
(This is if you have work pensions).

You would need to contact the Companies/Organisations that you worked for giving your National Insurance Number, Date of Birth, and dates that you were working there.

My wonderful friend, Claire, is sorting this out for me. There have been a couple ig Hiccups, but we re so close to the end.

I am going to ask Claire if she will be a guest blogger here, and explain it all for you.

(I haven't asked her yet, so keep it under your hat.............)

I have seen a writing competition on the Compton Hospice blog,
(Just click on the link to the right of this blog to find it).
There are prizes...1st, 2nd and 3rd.
£200.00, £100.00 and £50.00.

I think that I will give it a bash, and if I win, I will give the winnings to Compton Hospice, (of course, if you win, you can do as you please with it! lol!)

As you may know, there has been a piece written about this blog on the Compton hospice blog, (address to the right), and I have had so many positive comments from friends and family....
I want to thank you all for your lovely messages and words of support.
With out you all, I couldn't be this strong!

Well, I am off to drink my coffee now, in case I get shouted at for letting another one go cold..........(can't see the problem myself, just bung some ice in it or a dollop of ice cream and make an ice coffee, lol!)

Thursday 22nd March 2012

Today, I have exciting news, sad news and general news.
I will start with exciting, then sad, then general.

Exciting
I have been asked by McMillan - Compton Hospice if they can link their blog to mine and visa versa.
I have also been asked if I would be prepared to talk about myself and my journey with cancer, so that it may be published in the local paper and a magazine.
I was interviewed today, and had my pictures taken today too.

Hehehehehe! LOL! Hollywood, here I come! Oooooo, I can't contain myself, I am so excited.!

I can be just like my heroine! Carmen Miranda!

I, i, i, i, i, i like you very much
I, i, i, i, i, i think your're grand
You see that when i feel your touch
My heart starts to beat, to beat the band

I, i, i, i, i, i'd like you to hold me tight
You are too too too too too divine
If you want to be in someone's arms tonight
Just be sure the arms then are mine

I like your lips and i like your eyes
Do you like my lips to hypnotize you?

See see see the moon above
When when when i think the blue
Si si si señor i think i'll fall in love
And when i fall i think i fall for you

I, i, i, i, si, si, si, si
I, i, i, i can see see see
That's you for me.

Sad
Maria, the lady that I was telling you about last week, has sadly lost her battle with cancer.
I would be lying if I said that we were great friends, we weren't, but we were certainly travelling that way.

I was wondering what piece of art I was going to create today, and one of the lovely nurses suggested that I may like to finish a piece that Maria had started.
Well, of course, I said yes, I would be very proud too, and I hope that I complete it as she would have herself.
Any way Maria....make sure you have the kettle on when I get there!

Rest in Peace Maria.

General
I have had some ideas about fund raising for Compton, and I spoke with the Compton Hospice fund raiser......(sorry that I don't mention the names of nurses and other staff, I would like to have their permission before I was to do that)......any way,
I spoke with the fund raiser, and she gave me a couple of ideas too, I will let you know when I have sorted it out.

Don and Daisy have been back to the garden, using the 'facilities'! Lol!
Roxanne went back home yesterday morning.
Keith has had a promotion at work, so he can stay in the Lake District.
I didn't make it to my Drama group yesterday.........
If you remember last week, I said that I was really tired, so I was going to have a nap in the day to make sure that I was 'alert' for the evening......well, that is what I did.
When I woke, I can't say in all honesty, that I felt unwell....but I felt nasty, irritable and angry, and I didn't think that it would be fair to 'force' myself on others, so I didn't go.
I have been sent the play to read though.
I will do that this week and go...fresh as a daisy, next week.

Tuesday 20th March 2012

Don and Daisy are back! They have been coming back daily, but I don't think that they are actually nesting in the garden.
They are not bothered about Dougal, and he is not concerned about them, so that is good.
This morning, he was alone, doing some very quiet and sedate 'quacking', she replied very loudly from a distance, and arrived a few minutes later.

I think that I am getting a bit of a chest infection or something, got a bit of a cough, sore throat and tightness over the chest area, if it hasn't gone by Thursday, I will speak to the Nurses on Thursday.

Roxanne came to see me yesterday, and she is staying until Wednesday morning, so we intend to have some fun.....(we usually do, like a pair of kids!)

Yesterday, I was a bit tired, but I didn't need to do much really, took Mum for her bloods, and then watched the DVD that Roxanne brought.......'The New Sherlock Holmes'. To my surprise, I really enjoyed it!

Today, we will go into town, spend more time in coffee shops than shop shops, but who cares!!

What's the worst that can happen?!

Have a great day!