31st March - 28th Radiotherapy session - Last one!

Well, today was my last radiotherapy session.
I was told that the 'effects' will probably 'peak' in about 1 week.

A bit like micro-waving food apparently, once the food comes out of the micro-wave, it continues to cook....same thing........

Anyway, I have all the stuff that I need to manage it all.

For pain...
Tramadol, morphine and paracetamol

Stuff for anti-sickeness
Constipation,
Diahorrea,
Heartburn.

Anti-biotics for infection

Anaesthetic gel, anti-bacterial gel...........

O.K  Stress relieving tips and hints as promised

.

The main one I think will be useful for everyone........

This will help with:-
Piles
Constipation
Diarrhoea
Sore bum for any reason.

With any of the above, your bum gets sore.

Piles, because they are a pain in the arse
Constipation because of all of the 'pushing' and dryness,
Diahorrea, because of 'overuse' and over wiping..

Get some Aqueous cream.
When you need to wipe your bum after using the loo, get the toilet paper, dip it in the pot of cream, and wipe the bum area, (front to back).
Repeat with a fresh piece of paper until clean.

The cream is a great cleanser, it aids with lubrication,(constipation), and it soothes and cools, (piles and diahorrea).
It doesn't sting like some 'wipes' do. It is easy to flush.

Tip 2


The next few tips, I think will only be useful for someone having radiotherapy on their vagina.(But maybe  not).

When the anaesthetic gel was prescribed, I used it, it was suggested that it should be used without the aqueous cream.
I did try it, but it made the area feel tight...like it would split with every step that I took.
What I found helpful, was to apply the gel, wait a few moments, and then add the smallest amount of aqueous cream.

When the anti-bacterial gel was prescribed, I had to mix equal amounts of the two gels, and then apply.
The anti-bacterial gel served as the aqueous cream had done, and I was then able to stop using it.

Tip 3


After using the loo to wee...DO NOT use toilet paper to wipe.
The paper disintegrates and little bits of it stick to the sensitive area adding to the irritation and discomfort.

Get a flannel, rinse it through, and wring it as dry as you can.
Make sure that it is not hot, this will aggravate the situation.
Do not make it cold either, although it is very soothing and cooling, it tends to cause discomfort a few minutes afterwards.

My advice would be to get the flannel, rinse and ring out.
Leave it in a safe and clean place, ensuring that everyone in the household knows that it is for your use only.
When you need it, it will be about room temp.
Gently pat the area with the flannel, then apply creams as required.
Rinse the flannel again, ready for the next use.
Use a fresh flannel everyday.

Tip 4


Carry a clean and damp flannel with you if you are going out to mop up any leaks. Take a plastic bag with you to keep the flannel in.
Again, do not use toilet paper or tissues for the same reasons as previously mentioned.

Now, my time to relax a bit!

I am so excited about tomorrow!!!!

Every one, sing along!

Zap-a-dee-doo-dah, zap-a-last-day!
My, oh my what else can I say!
Plenty of no pain heading my way.
Zap-a-dee-doo-dah, zap-a-last-day!

Mister Morphine on my shoulder,
It's the truth, it's actch'll
Ev'rything is satisfactch'll
Zap-a-dee-doo-dah, zap-a-last-day!
Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!


Tra Laaaaaa!

Tomorrow, I will list some helpful hints and tips that have helped me through this.
I hope that someone out there may find them useful if they are going through the same or similar..

(I have no idea what these hints and tips are for, but they sound intriguing....lol!)

Relevant ones tomorrow!!!!

Have a good day!

30th March - before radiotherapy

Happy birthday Dot.

Can any one explain to why, when I am shovelling all these pain killers down my throat, I still have back pain to the base of my back and a bloody headache????????

Weird or what?

Need to get the 'Team' involved!

Off for my ablutions before going to hospital for my 'pen-ultimate radiotherapy zap.

Tuesday 29th March - 26th radiotherapy session

Today, I started on morphine.
I was also told that I had an infection, so I have to take anti-biotics too.
I am still sore, but the pain killers are taking the edge off of it.
(Sitting and standing is easier now, although walking over any distance is still a no no).
Sleeping tablets are ensuring that I get undisturbed sleep.

Still very tired for most of the time, feeling nauseous, heartburn, tinnitus.............all manageable so far.

Only 2 more zappings to go, and then, hopefully, my bits will start to return to normal!

When I saw the Doctor yesterday, I asked when I would know if I still have cancer, or if the chemo and radiotherapy had 'killed' it.

Well, the reason that I didn't mention it yesterday, is that I am not sure that I understand her response.
Basically, I think that what she said was that we wouldn't know, I will just have to keep going for regular check ups.

I will ask again on 11th April, I may be able to make more sense of it all when the whole of my being isn't consumed by pain.

OK, That's it for today, catch up again tomorrow!

Monday 28th March - 25th Radiotherapy session

It is very difficult for me to sit, stand, walk and generally get comfortable, so when I was called through from the main waiting room, the male nurse asked if I needed assistance, well, being quite an independent person, I said no thanks, but he could take my arm because I thought that he was cute.lol!

He blushed, and led me to the radiotherapy suite.

Afterwards, I had to go and wait to see the doctor.

The Doctor looked at my 'bits', and prescribed liquid morphine to be taken 4 times daily.

She did say that the burns were clean, which is good news.

The burn that runs up the creases that joins the thighs to the torso are weeping continuously. They are extremely sore, and are still looking like raw steak.
The burns to the vagina are the ones that impede the acts of sitting and standing, and the burns to the creases joining the thighs to the torso are the ones that impede mobility.

As I am unable to wear underwear, further discomfort is caused by the areas weeping, and running down my legs.
When I go out, I have to carry dry flannels to mop up.
I also need to use towels to sit on.

The doctor feels that the pain will start to subside around the 11th April, when I have an appointment to see her again. The burns should start to heal around this time.
This will also be the time when the next chemo sessions will be discussed.

It seems that over the next 5 days to so, the pain and burns will become worse, then they will start to heal, and I should start to feel a little better.

I can't wait......roll on healing!!!!!!!

My Hero, I want to be as fit and healthy as this fab guy!!!!!!!!

Sunday 27th March

I am feeling quite poorly.
Nauseous, although, I haven't been sick.
Very, very sore.
In fact, the crease where my thighs join my torso, looks like raw steak...it is very painful and uncomfortable.
The rest of my 'nether regions' are still very sore.
I am still using anaesthetic gel and anti-bacterial gel 4 times daily.
I am taking Tramadol 4 times daily and paracetamol 4 times daily.

Tomorrow I have the 25th session of radiotherapy, followed by a further 3 sessions, making 28 sessions in total.
I will also see the Doctor, and hopefully find out when I start chemo again.

There is little else to say today.

25th March

Not a great amount to report today...no real change.

As you are probably aware, I haven't posted every day this week.........
Well, my daughter, Roxanne, phoned me last night, and she gave me a bit of an ear bashing!!!!
She said she was contacted by one of my Face Book friends, Wendy, her name is!
Because I hadn't been on line for a couple of days, Wendy became concerned and contacted Roxanne to make sure that all was well.

Thanks Wendy, I really appreciate your concern!
I will make sure that I poke my nose on FB every day!

Isn't it wonderful to know that there are so many lovely people out there!

I want to tell all my friends, family and supporters that I always aware of their caring and best wishes.

I want to thank you all.......you know who you are!

Love and Light x x x x

24th March - 23rd Radiotherapy session

I have been feeling particularly sore for the past few days.

Roxanne came on Monday, and left on Tuesday. She came with me to my hospital appointments, and waited on me hand and foot. which was great!

Her wedding dress looked lovely on her.

On Tuesday, I went to 'look good, feel better workshop'.
I really did feel too poorly to go, but I was already at the hospital, having just had my treatment.
It was very enjoyable and I learned a great deal, unfortunately I was unable to give it 'my all', as the pain is 'all consuming' despite trying my best to do stuff to take my mind off of it.

My tramadol has been increased by 125% over these days, and I will be on morphine from Monday.

My legs are getting weak when I try to stand and move. I was sent up to a ward yesterday, and some test were done, and I will be 'observed'.

I was really worried that they were going to keep me in hospital, because I didn't want to miss the new series of Midsomer Murders! lol!

I am going to be a bit graphic now, so if you have a weak stomach...skip this next bit......
My vagina is very swollen and sore. It feel like leather to the touch. There are many 'burn blisters all over it.
The burn goes down the whole crack of my bottom, continues over the whole vagina and extends to the crease to the top of each thigh.
Apart from being very sore, and weeping...it is like walking around with a leather handbag hanging between my legs.....each pocket rubbing against the next...........

OK, the nasty bit is over now.

I am taking 100mg tramadol 4 times daily and 8 paracetamol through out the day.
Sleeping tablets at night, and anaesthetic gel 4 times daily and anti-bacterial gel 4 times daily.
Further urine test today and blood tests.

Another visit with the Doctor on Monday, and it is expected that I will be prescribed Morphine. It is something that I wanted to avoid...but....bugger my principles, the pain is to great!

Tomorrow is my 24th radiotherapy session, so next Thursday will be my last.
Then I will start chemotherapy again.

21st March - 20th radiotherapy session

Roxanne arrived at the Station earlier than expected, so I dashed out to pick her up.
We went straight to the hospital, and we were there for 3 hours in total.
Mum came too.

Session went as usual....
I did explain that I had used alternative cream................
Didn't go down too well, but, no major consequences.
I went to see the Doctor, and said that I was very sore.
She actually looked at the area.
She was quite surprised at the level of inflammation etc.
It is possible that I also have a urine infection......oh joy and rapture!

She let out a small exclamation....'oh dear, you are cooking, all of the reactions are due to the radiotherapy'.

I was prescribed some anti-bacterial gel that is to be mixed with the anaesthetic gel in equal parts.
Tramadol pain relief, to be taken 3 times daily and taken with paracetamol.
I was also told that if this pain relief was not sufficient, that morphine will be prescribed. I should know in about 2 days if the tramadol and paracetamol are working.
I was also prescribed some quite strong sleeping medication.

i was informed that I would be requiring these medications even after the radiotherapy had ceased, so it would be in my interest to inform my own GP, as these items are not standard, and would probably have to be ordered in especially.

As soon as I got home, I slapped some of this new stuff on and took the tramadol.

Roxanne tried on her wedding dress, and she looked so beautiful in it!
(As I am typing this up, Roxanne is sorting my new phone...too technical for me....my old on broke!)

So far, so good........feeling very sleepy though, which is a side effect of the tramadol.

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

I hope that it all does what it says on the tin!!!!

20th March

Feeling really unwell today.
Very sore, very tired, a bit nauseous, headache and generally urghhhhhh!

Catch you tomorrow!

19th March

HI all....
I didn't post yesterday.
2 Reasons:-
1.   I had nothing to say.
2.   I felt like 'rubbish!'

Today, I feel a little better.
I had a decent night's sleep, the first time in ages.
(I used a cream of my own...one that I was told I shouldn't use...it has helped....I will tell the hospital on Monday, and take my 'bollocking' like a big girl, I just hope that I haven't caused too many problems by doing so).

Considering that the pain is much reduced since using the alternative cream, I feel that it is worth it.
I will ensure that I use the recommended cream on Monday.

Still have a sore bum, have back ache...... tinnitus still there, although not problematic, and sinusitis, this is a 'pain', but pain killers are doing the trick.

The main issue is 'annus paini'................ (This Latin is....shall we say....improvised!)

Should have all the radiotherapy finished on Thursday week!   Yay!!!!!!!

17th March - 19th Radiotherapy session

I had to have my 'bloods' done and a urine test today.
Radiotherapy session passed with nothing to report.

When I went to get my bloods done, I met one of the ladies that was at the nail care workshop yesterday.
We will be at the face and skin care workshop together too.
We had a bit of a giggle!

The base of my back really hurts. I think it is because I am adopting weird positions when I sit, stand and lay down to minimise the discomfort in my nether regions.

Ho Hum! Suck it up Carol!

O.K! I am 'Sucking it Up!' - Don't Shoot!

No need to go to the hospital tomorrow, as I said earlier, I have a day off.

Next appointment Monday at 11.00. I also need to see the Doctor then as well.

Roxanne is coming on Monday, and will stay until Tuesday evening.
I am looking forward to that.

16th March - 18th radiotherapy session

The radiotherapy session came and went....nothing to report there.

The nail care workshop was great. No one spoke of cancer, every one spoke of nail care and themselves.
Fabulous!
We were talked through our nails, any problems and how to resolve them.
Then we were taught how to care effectively for our nails, and did our own, unless we wanted one of the tutors to do them for us.
I chose to do my own.

We had fun.

I was asked how I put my head gear on, so, I stripped to my baldness, and gave a demo. That was also fun, many amusing comments were thrown about.

We were each given a wonderful bag of products which included:-

4 nail polishes
1 base coat
1 top coat
I file/buffer
I emery board
1 cuticle oil
I orange stick

Next week, I am going to the make up and face care workshop.

These workshops are provided free for cancer patients at Newcross Hospital.

Thank you!
I feel more like a Carol than a Cancer now!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I am regaining my individuality!

15th March - 17th Radiotherapy session

Still very sore.
The gel is helping.
I am also feeling extremely tired.
I could fall asleep on a clothes line!

I was told that I was having a 'day off' on Friday.
I still need to complete my 28 days, but I don't have to go on Friday, but it will be added to the end.

I have been offered a 'nail care' workshop tomorrow at 14.00hrs.
I will attend, my nails are in a terrible mess, and it will give me further opportunity to socialise with others who may feel as I do...........their personality  drowning beneath a cloud of radioactivity!

Oh, it will be great to have a conversation with some one, (even greater if cancer IS NOT discussed!)
I understand that cancer is now part of my life, but I do object to it taking over completely............
Right now, all of my plans have to revolve around appointment times.

I understand that it is necessary, but right now I feel like I am no longer a person, I am just a cancerous sore arse that has daily hospital appointments!
Hey, I am still here, it is still me, I am not the cancer!!!!!!!!!

Cooooooeeeeeeeee! Carol Hubbard calling!!!!!!!

I refuse to let my identity be stolen by this bag of bollocks!!!!!!!

Monday 14t March - 16th Radiotherapy Session

I saw the Doctor today.
I explained about my soreness, and he said that he would write a prescription for this magic gel.
He also explained that I would be feeling the sore bum at least until the end on the radiotherapy.

Oh, joy and rapture!

I also mentioned the loose stools and frequency of using the loo.
He asked if I was feeling any sickness, which I am not.

He asked how much magic gel I wanted.
I asked for a vat load so that I may plunge my arse in it.

This is what I want to do...sit in a bucket of magic gel!!!!!

Any way, I have a prescription for magic gel, Immodium and very strong co-codomol.
I explained that I still have the anti-sickness pills from the chemo still, as I didn't have the need to take them.
The Doctor advised me to take them if I felt the need.

The Doctor said,
"Well, at least you are still smiling!"

I explained that it wasn't a smile, it was a grimace and wind together!!!!!

Sunday

Had a really bad day yesterday!
If some one had offered to 'put me down' yesterday, I would have agreed!

Feeling a little better now, although I am still very sore.
The magic gel is helping.

I will be so pleased when this is all over.

Still a few more hurdles to overcome!

I am half way through now!

12th March

I have today and tomorrow off!
No radiotherapy until Monday.

I had a far better night with the 'magic' gel, although it is still sore, and I am fining that I need to apply it every 4 hours or so.

Underwear aggravates it, as do pads and trousers. I have managed to avoid wearing them for a while now.

Other advice was to let the air get at the affected area....well, you all know where it is.........so let's hope that I don't get 'done' for exposure or other pornographic activities!

Other than that...I am feeling very well, but the soreness is bringing me down.

Well, that's it for today...see you tomorrow!

11th March - after 15th radiotherapy session

In addition to the bleeding this morning, I noticed some puss like dischrge.
I did mention this at the radiotherapy session.

There was no real surprise shown...however, I was given some anaesthetic gel!

Whoohoooo......hopefully, this will relieve the pain and discomfort, allowing me to sleep.

I am so excited to try it tonight.

I have to see the Oncologist on Monday, and if this stuff works, I should be given a prescription for this magic gel.

I will let you know how I get on with it tomorrow.

I feel so much better knowing that I may get a good likes sleep tonight.

11th March - before radiotherapy session

As I stated in yesterday's blog, I have been quite sore.
I had a bad night last night, and was up for a portion of it.

This morning I am bleeding from the vagina and the anus.
The blood is bright red, so I feel that there is little to be concerned about.

This doesn't stop it from being sore, and stings when I pee etc.

My appointment is not until  17.10 today, but I will mention it. I am not expected to see the Doctor until Monday, so, hopefully, I will be advised of way to make me feel more comfortable.

I will update you all later.

For now, all I can say is,
'Bloody ow!'

I am a sad puppy right now....(and sore).

10th March - 14th radiotherapy session

Yaay.....half way through!

Not on top of the world today, another night of broken sleep last night....so tired today, and feeling a bit nauseous.

I had a sleep during the day today, and tried to go to bed early......day time nap worked, but early to bed proved a bit of a disappointment, couldn't sleep!
Will have another go in a mo!

I am hoping that this will be posted on face book this time, I tried with yesterday's and it failed.....
Tomorrow's appointment is at 17.10, so hopefully,  a lie in or lay in as some call it....yes Troy, the 'alternative is just for you! lol!

Well, hope that you all have a good day or night, depending on where you are.

Love and Light.

9th March - 13th Radiotherapy session

Last night was not a good night.
I wasn't as bad as the previous night, but the discomfort kept me awake for a number of hours.
Loose stools also came in to play.
My appointment was at 09.20 this morning,
When I came home, I went back to bed, and have only just woken up.

I am feeling a little nauseous, still a little tired, and still quite 'uncomfortable'.
'Couch potatoing' is on the agenda for the rest of the day.

Tomorrow, the appointment is for 13.20, this means that if I have an uncomfortable nught, at least I can have a little lay in to compensate......SO that is today's good news!
Yaaaaaayyyyyy!

8th March - 12 th radiotherapy session

Morning all!
I haven't been for my treatment yet today. It is at 10.20.

I had a really bad night. Incredible stomach cramps and diarrhorea.
This went on from 03.00 - 05.00.

Nether regions are extremely sore now, and are showing signs of burning.

I am still slapping the cream all over the important bits, more that 3 times daily now. This is helping a bit.

Anyway, only another 16 sessions of radiotherapy and 3 x 3 chemo sessions, and the I should be all done and dusted!
In fact, on Thursday, I am 50% of the way through!

So..I am trying to think beautiful thoughts!!!!!

7th March - 11th Radio therapy session and CT Scan

Had my brain scan....yep, I definitely have one, and no.......they didn't find an empty space........you know who this is directed at...mentioning no names...Philip!!!!!!! lol!

The big question...has there been any useful activity there!!!!!!!

Well, this sign wasn't showing...so I live in hope lol!

Seriously...
The results will not be available for at least 1 week.
I have no concerns, as I believe that the unreliable memory is due to chemo, and should rectify it's self in due course.

I have been ORDERED to rest, and not do the gardening...(The oncologist asked me what my plans were this afternoon, so I told her).
She said that I would  be becoming increasingly tired now.
The oncologist sent me for more blood tests, and told me to keep slapping the cream on.

So I am obeying orders...I do feel very tired........
I have to go now and take my Mum to the clinic, and then do the weekly shop.

I am so looking forward to getting back home and vegging out on the couch with a coffee and a magazine!!!!

Not me, or mine....but you get the picture!
Have a great day!

6th March - Sun

Remained 'woozy' for most of the day yesterday.
Some of the garden did get done, but not by my own fair hand, I supervised!

Picture is not my garden, but I have aspirations! lol!


Hopefully, I can go and get some plants today, but it doesn't look promising, I feel really tired and 'lack lustre'.

I may have to rest today...especially as tomorrow is a big and full day for me.

Not really a lot to say today.
I am sure that I can make up for it tomorrow after the CT scan, 11th radiotherapy session and a meeting with the oncologist.

I think that I am going to pop back to bed.

Have a great day!

5th March - Sat

Hi..........
Well, the alternative therapies were great, I felt really relaxed and calm.
I had reflexology and Reiki. It was Fab!!!!!!!

I feel all relaxed and woozy this morning!
I had a couple of tummy cramps at bed time.....took the appropriate action,and then slept like a brick!
I have only just surfaced, and it is 09.26!

My appointment for the CT scan has come through, (I don't know if you will remember, but this is to see if I have anything going on in the brain), No comments please LOL!!!!!
This is Monday 7th, at 09.20....then I have radio therapy at 11.00, and then I have to see the oncologist.

It is looking like it may be a nice day...so garden, here I come!!!!!!!!

4th March - 10th day of radiotherapy

I woke with stomach cramps at 05.45.
This culminated in loose stools. I visited the loo 3 times between 05.45 and 06.30.
The cramps ceased.
08.45, I had a couple of mild cramps, with no resulting 'action'.
10.45, further cramps, again, requiring no action.

I am a little sore in the 'nether regions', but not any more that before.

The next time that I need to go for a treatment is Monday at 11.00.
I then have to see the oncologist, so there will probably be something more interesting to report then.

I was told that the side effects start to kick in between day 7 and day 14, (including the week ends).  It is will
be day 14 on Sunday and day 15 when I see the oncologist....so, I will have to wait and see!
I was also told that the side effects will reach their peak during the 2 weeks that follow the radio therapy.

Fingers crossed that I remain to be quite lucky with moderate side effects, which has been the case since starting the chemo in December.
I really have been very lucky so far!

Alternative therapies this after noon.....whoohoooooooo!
I am really looking forward to this!

Just kidding....this is more like it.....................

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

3rd March - 9th Radiotherapy session.

Still sore in the 'nether regions', but no more sore that I was before.
Still tire easily.
Otherwise, no real change.

I have organised a therapist to visit me tomorrow at 14.00hrs, so I had to alter tomorrow's appointment from 15.30 to 09.30.

I am a thereapist...qualified in aromatherapy and other things....
A client of mine, wanted to book in for an appointment, well, as I am a tad unwell, I felt that my energies were not positive enough to 'therap'....(a bit of poetic licence there) lol!

So I spoke with my friend, who is an excellent and highly qualified therapist, to come and do a 'job lot'!

I will be having either Reiki or crystal healing and hopefully some reflexology.
Mum has decided to have hopi ear candling and reflexology.
My client, (who I feel unable to do myself at this time), with be having crystal healing.

I am really looking forward to it!

2nd March - 8 radiotherapy session

The appointment was later today than usual.

To date, my appointments have been in the morning...however it was at 13.40 today.

It is 12.50 tomorrow.

Anyway, I digress.

This time, I felt a tingle in the area of the lump removal site during radiotherapy....this is apparently me feeling the actual radiotherapy. It wasn't painful, just a bit uncomfortable and tingly.

I say uncomfortable loosely...it made me want to have a good old scratch, but of course, you are not able to move whist on the bed.....could be 'zapped' in an area that doesn't need 'zapping'!.

By the time that I was off the table and able to scratch...the desire had gone!

This picture isn't quite what I meant...but I am sure that you get my drift!

The other thing is...I have piles, (haemorrhoids), and because I have been told that I can't use any cream other than aqueous cream in the area between my waist and top of my thighs, I had to ask if I could use 'Anusol', (a cream that is designed to ease piles and sold over the counter in England, for those of you who may not know), Any way, yes I can, and yes I will.

I could use the same picture to illustrate 'piles too! (But I won't lol!)

Mum came with me again today, and was waiting in the waiting area.

When I had finished, I made my way there to collect her and go home.

Well, there was water all over the place.

I asked her what had happened.

Well.........Mum is a 'tidy freak'...she saw these used cups on the table in the waiting room, and decided to clean them away..(disposable cups).

She picked them up, putting one inside the other, not realising that one was still full of water, well it went all over the floor!

I pulled a coffee table over the water so that no one would slip in it and informed the nurse, not telling the nurse that it was my mother, who by the way, was merrily chompping on eccles cakes that she had bought earlier at the W.R.V.S.

I don't know..........!?!

An O.C.D mother and piles, all in one day!!!! Lol!!!!!!

Not a bad today, just very tired.