30th December 2011

Well, I took Mum to have her bloods done...we went to a different clinic as the usual one was closed. Parking was a pain, but all done and dusted.

Anyway............I forgot to tell you.......Just for fun, I bought Mum a 'bell' for her zimmer, as using it turns her into a mad woman!

She only had the nerve to use it in Town yesterday after noon!!   lOl!
(Think that I will get her some wing mirrors and maybe some lights!!!!!)

I had some beautiful presents, I was able to personally thank most of my family and friends.
I have not been able to thank Doreen yet. She made a beautiful scarf....it is a piece of art....almost sculptured. I have worn it  a number of times already. Thank you Doreen.

Not feeling too good today, so I will go now and see you tomorrow.

Wishing you all that you would wish for yourselves in 2012

29th December 2011

27th

Roxanne, Hicky and Sarah came.
We sat around exchanging presents and chatting.
We then played games on the Wii. That was fun......I am a little better than I was expecting to be, but, Alas, not good enough!

We then played 'Cludo'. That was huge fun!.......very much 'up my Street'
Still didn't win though! Lol!

Roxanne had a new camera for Christmas....all buttons and bells with knobs on........

So....................pictures were taken!

We went to the Wing Wah...table for 8 people.
Mum was unwell, and decided not to come. We only stayed out for two hours to make sure Mum wasn't left alone for long.
So,
Roxanne, Hicky, Keith, Sarah, Derek, Richard and me made up the 'party'!

The manager offered to pay for my meal, which was wonderful! Thank you.

28th.

5 of us went to town....Roxanne, Keith, Hick, Sarah and me.
Bought  a few bits, and then back home to cook Dinner, which was ready at 16.00hrs.
We had, leg of lamb, 3 bird roast, roast potatoes, asparagus, broccalli, brussels, carrots and peas. Yummy if I say so myself as cook!

Keith and Sarah left shortly afterwards. Roxanne and Hick stayed a little longer, and then they left.
All in all, it has been fab having the family here.
(I am really exhausted now!).

Mum is still unwell. I had already made an appointment for the Doctors for this morning, (29th), but I was concerned, so I called the Doctor. He said that he would call back.
When he called back, Mum was fine!!!! Laughing, eating drinking....I felt a complete fool!
Anyway, I am still taking her to the Doctors this morning, and I have to take her to have her 'bloods' done tomorrow.

The McMillan nurse called me twice over the holiday, and seemed very suprised that I was still cooking, going out and cleaning etc!..... Mind you, as I said I an knackered now.............just stuff to do today and tomorrow, then I can relax until work on 3rd!!!!

hope that your festivities were as good as mine.
Have a great New Year!

26th December 2011

Well, went to the Wing Wah on Friday with Pete, Dot, Keith and Mum.
Had a great meal.

24th, I had to rest, I have been quite busy over the week, and I felt in Saturday. I just sat on the couch with Dougal and watched TV. Keith sat with me for the morning, and then went to visit Sarah, his girlfriend in Cheltenham. He was back by 19.00.

I received a wonderful Christmas card from Wendy and Jeff, FB friends. It was beautiful. Wendy makes her own cards and they are stunning.
Webb address:

alphabotts.blogspot.com

Check it out.

Thank you Wendy and Jeff.... x x x.

25th,
Well, in the morning, we all came together, and distributed presents....it was great! I had loads of lovely stuff! Thanks every one!

Me and Mum cooked a massive Lunch, ate until we were stuffed, and then we watched animated season films!

Unfortunately, today is not a good day for me.....I am feeling weak and unwell.
I am sweating like mad, and then I am feeling a bit cool....then red hot again......
I feel nauseous, and keep thinking that I am going to be sick any moment.........
(Gladly, that 'any moment' hasn't come yet....).

I think another quiet day for me today.
I need all my energy and joviality for tomorrow............
Roxanne, Tom and Sarah are coming. Everyone is arriving at different times, so I have booked a table a Wing Wah's.....Lol!
We will be eating at 18.00hrs.
There will be 8 of us.
Keith and Sarah,
Roxanne and Tom,
Derek and Richard,
Me and Mum.
I did invite Pete and Dot, but they are helping their daughter move home, so sadly, can't come.

27th, Me and Mum will be cooking.

Hope that you have all enjoyed the season's festivities ans continue to do so!!!!!!

23rd December 2011

Well, another great and wonderful surprise yesterday!
I was given a Gift Voucher for a Spa Day for a substantial amount from my friends and colleagues from work.
This is fantastic! Thank you all so very, very much. It is very much appreciated, and I will enjoy every moment!

I went to see Robert yesterday, the drive was quite difficult for me...there were road works which lengthened the trip.
My back and hip did suffer.

I did become quite emotional. The official hand over took place. Keith is now the first point of contact, and will be attending all of the reviews and serving as Robert's advocate.

Saying good bye on this visit did bring a tear to my eye, because, I was wondering if this may be the last time that I see him.

I have decided that it can't be, and I will travel to see him as often as I am able when I am well. (Chemo starts again on 5th January).

Surprise, surprise, back to the Wing Wah today for lunch with Pete and Dot, my brother in law and sister in law. They have both been so supportive and helpful throughout the past year or so.
Keith and Mum will also be coming.....not sure if Derek and Richard are coming or nor, just have to wait and see if they turn up!

Today is the first day of my new medication regime. Humph..........
Having such a regime makes me feel as if I am ill or something!!

AND.........there is the seriousness of having to take my first tablet with water.......and sit still for half an hour.

I mean.....NO COFFEE!!!!!!  SITTING STILL!!!!!! 

How the hell am I going to do this!!!!!!!!!!!

22nd December

Hi Guys,
Been a while since I blogged...but I have had loads to do.....reporting back now!

On Saturday morning, I tried to find Hooty's to buy a tree. Well.....I couldn't find it!  My memory is that muddled!
Anyway, I went to Dunelm's instead, 'because I found that! Lol!)

In the evening, I took Mum to the Party at work.
The tenants were really pleased to see us.
They stopped proceedings and made a speech. I felt really emotional. They and I both knew that it was most unlikely that I would be returning to work.
I was really choked!

Well, it wasn't QUITE like that............but hey ho......nice though, eh!!

Any way, I danced with as many tenants as I could. Many of them were concerned that I was 'over doing it'.

I tried to explain that stopping me dancing was stopping me having fun, and if I didn't have fun, I wouldn't live longer....it would just seem like it to me...........

I tried to explain that I was still Carol, and enjoyed the same things as always. stating the cancer was sharing my body and my life.
As such.........IT will live as I choose, and not the other way around.
I think that every one understood what I meant with out anyone becoming upset.....

Sunday, I, had a lazy day .

Monday, Pete and Dot took me to Hooty's so that I could get a new tree.
(I had to follow them and follow them back home!)

Monday evening, I went out to dinner with my friends, Mike, Doreen and Jacky. Sadly, Sandra and Claire were unable to come.
Doreen brought a beautiful poinsettia that the tenants had bought for me but forgot to give me on Saturday evening!
We met at my house. Jacky's car broke down as soon as she got there! Terrible!
Jacky called the Green Flag, and they came and fixed it whilst we were out, and Derek took charge of that situation. It was all fixed and ready to go when we got back!

Well, no prizes for guessing where we went!
The Wing Wah!   Lol!
The Manager came to the table........showered me with compliments....
(Oh, and yes. I loved it! Bring it on!)
He bought all the drinks for us.

On Tuesday, Tim, the pensions advisor came to see me. He really knows his stuff, and is now keeping his finger on the pulse, sorting lots of stuff out and keeping me advised.
Claire composed a letter for me to send to other pensions providers that I have...so....another job well done and in progress!
Another friend of mine has sorted benefit application for me, and I have had me first response from them, (no info yet  though). Another task under way and in progress!

Keith came Tuesday after noon and he is staying until 3rd Jan Yipeeeee!

Wednesday - MacMillan and Hospice.

She went through all my meds and told me what I should be taking. I explained that I wasn't taking them because it made me too relaxed to make snap decisions at work, and when I am working, I need to make these snap decisions all the time.
(After getting a minor bollocking), she listed them for me............
All of them I have had for a while, but didn't take in case any side effects made it hard to work effectively.

Ibanronic acid 50mg one each morning. 07.00
This one I have to take in the morning...no coffee, tea or anything, just the water I take it with, and then sit bolt upright with out moving, eating or drinking for half an hour! Yuk!
Omeprazole 20mg one each morning 08.00
Hyocine butylbromide 10mg 2 three times daily. 08.00 12.00 18.00
Tramadol Hydrochloride 50mg 1-2, 4 times 08.00 12.00 16.00 Bed time
Zopiclone 7.5 mg  1/2 - 1 each night
Co-danthramer Suspension  10mls each night.

(Haven't done any of this yet, because I have to drive to Bristol and back today!)

I will be referred to the Hospice for some therapies, and to join the day centre for further activities and therapies.
The Mac Millan Nurse was great!
Keith and Derek both came with me.

When we got back home, there was a parcel for me.
I opened it, and it was a CD by Gregory Moore - 'The Christmas Gift'.
It was signed by Gregory Moore...
'To Carol with love'
This was sent to me by a friend that I made on FB. we have never me, but communicated regularly. Thank you Ericka!
The wonder of people, their kindness and caring will never cease to amaze me.

In the afternoon, me Mum and Keith went to the German Market in Birmingham.
It was a spur of the moment thing, and Keith had never been.

When we got home, I was exhausted, so any Winter Solstice celebrations and Yule celebrations that I had planned were only in my head.

Wishing you all Seasons Greetings.

17th December

Well, all that excitement was much ado about nothing....I missed the 'wedding'. I was supposed to skype to see it......I am such an indiot!
I must have not known how to use skype, fell asleep, or was at work......how can I be such a bloody dip stick!!!!!
(Please don't answer that!)

Well, Gordon and Geoff had a good day, and they really  enjoyed it...that is the most important thing. I am still well 'miffed' though!

Oh well, the next best thing........I await the photo's and I will use my imagination to put me there.

Last day at work yesterday, for a while at least!  I wanted to leave a clear desk, but alas, as I cleared it, more work came in.............hmffft.
Well, I handed it all over to my line manager.

I left a bit later, because I really wanted to finish and I paid the consequences.
M6......Arrrrrrrgh! 2 accidents, no less, it was way past 18.00hrs when I got home!

I have a busy day today too.

My step son Dean and his wife Nikki, are coming to visit this morning, and they are bringing little Finley with them He is a live wire!

Then I am going out to lunch with a friend.....and yes, at the Wing Wah, I love it, and it is so close to me.

And this evening, I am going to a party.
My tenants have been very insistent that I attend as they don't know when they will see me again............sniff, sniff.

15th December - after benefit advice

Well, my friend helped me...because I have this DS form from the doctor, things should be a little more straight forward.......the form is all filled in and in the post.
Under usual circumstances, I would find out in about 1 week, but we have the holidays now, so it will take about 2 weeks longer I should think..........

Anyway, you can but try!

I have been really busy today, but I have managed to get a  lot done.
Shattered now though!! Lol!

Tomorrow is my last day at work until 3rd January now, so I can get some stuff done.
Keith will be coming next week, going to see Robert, 2 x meals with friends, Pension man and McMillan nurse to see.
(Some times I wonder where I find the time to go to work!!!! LoL!)

My nephew, Gordon...(by marriage), is having his big day tomorrow.
He and his partner, Geoff, are 'tying the knot'.
I am so excited. They are in Australia, so I am hoping to get a look in via 'skype'.
I have to learn how to use it now......not much time left.
It would be a bit useful if I knew what time I needed to be 'skyped up' at this end too. Lol!
Oh, it is all exciting stuff!

I'm so excited!

14th December

What a great day.
Today has been good.
I have spent most of it laughing!

The McMillan Nurse contacted me today, and I going to the Hospice to meet with her on Wednesday.

13th December

I went to see HR and my managers today with the news. It is the first official update I have given since I was said to be in remission.

It has to be said that they were very supportive and sincere, and really made it easy for me to share.
Thanks!

I also took the opportunity of informing as many of my colleagues as I could, so that it is 'out there', leaving little room for guess work and supposition.

After that, is was back to my place of work, (which is a little way away for HO).
The first thing that I did was to check my telephone messages, as I have been out of the office since Wednesday.

One of the first messages I had was from a very bright and breezy friend of mine, wishing me 'A Happy Friday!' Lol!
Thanks Frahana....really cheered me up!

Then I needed to inform the tenants. An extra-ordinary meeting was called..............
My word....That was so hard!!

They were, well, 'quite upset', is the best definition that I can give right now.

From the moment that I arrived at Head Office, to the moment I left work, I have felt really, valued, cared for and 'swaddled' in warmth and concern.
The whole day has been very emotional.

What a wonderful World!!

12th December - after oncology appointment

Well, things are worse than I thought.

If I don't have chemo, there will be a rapid decline in my health, and I will be dead in less than 4 months.
If I do have chemo, and it is working, I will have it for the rest of my life which could be as long as 1 year.

After 3 chemo cycles, I will have a scan.
If the tumours are getting smaller, we will continue.
If the remain the same size, we will have another discussion with the oncologist.
If there is no change, then the chemo will stop, my health will decline, and I will die.

There is a 20% chance the chemo will work.

I have to start taking various pain killers now, so that the pain will be more easily managed.

I have been advised to take early retirement based on the fact that it wont be long before I am unable to work.

My friend Claire used to work in pensions, so she is going to sort that for me...Thanks Claire!!!!

I need to go and see HR at work tomorrow.

Radiotherapy will be used on my back when the pain killers cease to work.
The radiotherapy cannot be used on my lung, liver or lymph nodes.

My G.P has given me a DS1500 form on the recommendation of my Oncologist.
This is a report for Disability Living Allowance, Attendance Allowance or Incapacity Benefit, this accompanies claim forms under the special rules..........
ie, incurable or terminal conditions.

I have a friend who is a benefit's advisor, and he will help me with the form filling.
Thanks!

I need to go to the hospital and have my 'bloods done' on 4th January, and Chemo on 5th.
I didn't want to start before then because I have the family over for the holidays, and I wanted to make sure that I would be well enough to enjoy the murder mystery weekend on 28th Jan.

I had better sort this spa break out on the 'hurry up' too.

Feeling all the negative things now like, shock, horror, fear etc.....so I am off now.

11th December - Sunday evening

Today, my friends Ann and Dave came to see me from Bristol. It was great to see them. They brought some beautiful roses with them, (flowers not chocs), they are fabulous! Thank you.

We sat chatting, then went to the Wing Wah. Had a great meal, and chatted some more. Then we cam back to mine, had more coffee and chatted and chatted.........
It was great.
(Ann is obsessed with Alfie Boe!)

Yesterday, when i arrived home from town, there was a wonderful flower arrangement waiting for. Very beautiful, and extremely aromatic.
This was sent from my Face Book friends in Australia, How fab is that!
(I didn't want to mention their names before I asked them if it was OK, because I know that many readers will know them through FB).
Anyway........
A big thank you to Wendy and Jeff Brewer.

There is nothing as valuable as your loved family and friends.

11th December - Sunday

Well, I went in to town and had my eyes 'done'.
I do need a new prescription, nu surprise there!
I was surprised to learn that, when they puff air in to your eye, what ever they are testing for was high. I think that he said I was 24 and it should be 19-22 ????
Anyway, I have to have it done again soon, just to check.

All these beautiful multi-coloured kaleidoscopes that I see some times, are called 'visual disturbances'. Many things can cause this......could be high blood pressure, some thing effecting the optic nerve................ Probably my little brain lump.
So all in all, nothing to worry about.

I had a look for some new frames....I didn't see one pair that I liked. I will try again after the holiday.

I as I said yesterday, Mum took her zimmer, I bought it for her for Christmas.

The woman is a bloody menace!
She has turned into a speed freak!
She leaves me jogging behind her......waving my arms around to warm other unsuspecting pedestrians!

I think that I am going to have to buy a bell or horn to put on it!!!

On the way back to the car, she said,
"It is amazing how easy it is....that was fun!"

Oh Heck! I have created a monster!

10th December

Well, off to the opticians today, and a bit of retail therapy.
Mum has decided to come too.

We are going to look like a pair of invalids!

Mum will be taking her zimmer with a seat on it, and I will have to take my stick.

After all of that walking, stretching, rolling on the floor and crawling under tables, I don't think that I did my hip a power of good. It is a bit painful today.

Sandra and Claire, my friends were nagging me about being 'over enthusiastic' yesterday, so, yes, I know that it is my fault.

You see the thing is, if I stop doing the stuff I enjoy.....well, would it be worth it.
A little pain in exchange for some fun yesterday..........I think that it is a fair swop!
Although I would prefer to pay no consequence at all.
(Right now, 'Them's the Rules').

I am sure that the day will come when it wont be worth it, but right now, I have no regrets about my 'activities' yesterday.

OK, Oncologist again on Monday......I will see what's what, and report back,
Speak to you then....(Or before If something mega exciting happens today..........)

Off to get ready now....catch you later!

9th December

Daft as it sounds, I feel pretty good and positive!

Had the staff conference today, it was really good, I did enjoy it.....wore me out though.
I had to get back for a Doctor's appointment at 5.30.
Made it by the skin of my teeth!

Derek has decided that he is going out tonight to the Soul Night at a club down the road.

I am off to Town tomorrow. I have to go to the opticians.
I have been told that I am due for an eye test. Pleased really, I can get in and buy all the bits and bobs that I need to get.

My friends are coming to see me on Sunday.
Keith is coming on 19th or 20th and staying all the way through the holidays!

Sarah, his girlfriend, will follow just after Christmas.
Roxanne and her husband Tom will be coming on 27th. They will all be staying over for a while too. I am really looking forward to it.

19th December through to 3rd January, I am on annual leave.
23rd Jan - 30th Jan I am on annual leave again.  Murder mystery week end 28th - 29th.....all exciting stuff.

I need to sort the spa week end now!

Loads and loads to do and to think about................

OK, I am off now....have a great week end!!!

8th December - Results

First, the important stuff............
The stencilled eyebrows!

Interesting.
After following the instructions, I had to pretty much pluck ALL  my weird and fluffy existing brows and draw completely new ones on.........(in a completely different place......)
So, tell, me, how many of YOU have nomadic eye brows? Eh!
LOL!

Ok, Down to business!
Where to start.

Claire, my friend came with me.
Claire picked me up from home, and Mum looked Claire straight in the eye, and said,
'And when you come back, I want the truth!'

Well, that set us off, we were giggling because Mum made us both feel like naughty school children!

We had a great giggle!
We giggled about that, and then something else.....It was great fun!

The giggling stopped when we were in with the Doctor, but it soon started up again when we left...........(until we had to share the news with Mum and Derek).

Good news.........
Life expectancy remains pretty much the same..............
18 months, and maybe more, if I am lucky, with chemotherapy.
Under 12 months without it.

Bad news
I have cancer in my back, which we knew, (Left side).
Cancer in my lymph nodes, which we suspected. (Groin area).
I have cancer in my liver.
I have cancer in my lungs.
The cancer in my liver and lungs have taken about 5-6 weeks to grow from nothing to 2cm each. (I think that is the size she said).
My cancer is incurable.

Good news
The cancer in my lungs and liver are new, and quite small.
3 - 4 in my liver.
1 in my lungs.
I will get a McMillan Nurse in the next couple of days.
I start on morphine this week.
The prescription is being faxed from the hospital to my Doctor, so need to wait at the hospital for it.

(I asked for this because, as I said to the Doctor, If I only have 18months left, I didn't really want to spend some of this precious time in the hospital pharmacy).

I have to go and see another oncologist to discuss the proposed next course of treatment.  This is 10.30 Monday morning.

Claire took meticulous notes, and then re-wrote them neatly.............
This was so that she got it all right to tell Mum!!!!!
Lol!

We were going to Bridge North, but we went to The Wing Wah instead.
I have been there so often, that I have been given a customer reward card! Hehehehehe!
I am going again on Sunday too, because Ann and Dave, my very good friends from Bristol are coming to see me.

Any way, we got back to my house.....giggles subsided, we went in to the house.
Soon as we were in the door, we were summoned to Mum's room.
I could see Claire 'gulp'.............(Hehehehe, Mum can be quite scary Lol!)
Claire was great, she read all the notes, I said little. Derek came in with a cup of coffee.
Anyway, after a short discussion, Claire went, and the house fell in to silence.

I phoned around to Keith, Roxanne, Philip, Dot, Pete and Sandra.
Derek will ring Richard and Dean.

I an feeling a bit helpless, because I know that my family and friends are upset, and that there is nothing that I can to to help them.
I also feel a bit vulnerable.

8th December, before hospital appointment.

Well, I have decided that the Doctors and Oncologists must get very depressed and miserable through out the day.
Person after person, with cancer, all at varying stages, discussing treatments and all of that.
I also know that my Oncologist has just lost her mother recently, so she will be feeling a bit 'raw'.

I think that she may appreciate some sunshine in her storm.

I am rarely feeling miserable or sad, but I do have my moments,
So thinking on what makes me feel sad and stressed...(see previous post), I have decided that I am going to make an extra special effort to look well!

My eyebrows have all grown back weird, so I bought some of those 'eye brow stencils', you know, so if you have to draw them on, you can at least give them a little symmetry,  So, I am going to break them out today.
Put some 'slap' on, and keep smiling.
I am feeling quite high and happy today actually, and very positive, so that will help.

Well, sending positive thoughts to my Oncologist, and blessings.

OK World, Brace yourself!

Lets just hope that these eye brow stencils have the desired effect, and I don't over do it!

7th December

12 months ago today it was the third day of my second chemo cycle......how time flies!

It is the day of days tomorrow.
I have my appointment with the oncologist.
As you may recall, the last appointment, I was told that I have a secondary cancer in my bones, left lower back to be specific. I was also told that there was a HUGE possibility that the cancer had also spread to my lymph nodes, as the scan showed a swelling.
I was told that I was to have another scan, and to be sure to bring someone with me to my next appointment.

Well, I had the other scan, and my friend, Claire is coming with me tomorrow.
(Then we are off to be 'ladies who lunch!') Heheheehhe!!!

I was wondering..........
If I have a secondary cancer in my bones........would any cancer in my lymph nodes be a thirdary cancer???????    Just asking!!!!


Ahhhhhhh, and another thing that I forgot to tell you................

Well......my hair had grown enough to kinda style.........
Anyway, I had a go.
Humph!    Can't hold my arms up long enough to mousse and wax and spike and tweak....and on and on and on!
(It really made the side of my neck and shoulder really hurt).
So.................................................
I thought,
'Bugger it'....who needs the bloody stuff anyway, and shaved it all off again!

Not to mention how cold my little ears were getting with out my 'head gear'.

Will report back tomorrow!

6th December

Not all together, 'with it today'.
Felt well, just lost the plot a little!
Loads of stuff went wrong! LoL!

Just a little example.......................

The bin under the desk, didn't have a lot in it, but it had a few big bits in.  I tried to flatten it with my hand, but it just kept springing up again, so...you guessed......
I used my foot.

Well.............it got stuck!
At the same moment, some one came to the door, and I had to get up and greet them, this metal bin was stuck fast on my foot, so I ignored it and carried on as normal, hoping that it wouldn't be noticed.   Well, he didn't mention it all the time that we were talking, but he did have a silly grin on his face!
Got the bin off eventually.

Ok, I spoke of another similar story to yesterday's.

Again, basic cookery.
We had cooked and eaten, and discussing what the group fancied to eat next week.
We were going to cook lunch....main course...it was decided that omelette and chips was favourite.
Now, we needed to decide on dessert.
The group agreed on rice pudding. We were discussing what the 'topping' was going to be.
Jam, lemon curd and fresh fruit were mentioned.
A woman said that she like semen on hers.
Ok, right....erm.................
I said,
Ok, you bring some in then, and we will give it a go.

The next week came, people brought jam, lemon curd, fresh fruit, and the woman brought ...........................nutmeg???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????
Bless her, she thought that it was Cinnamon!

Phew! That was a relief!

5th December

Feeling really good today! Sleeping well, symptoms not being a nuisance....so, all is well on the Western Front!

Any, not a great deal to share today, so I thought that I would relate a little tale from when I was a 'Group Worker', working with adults with learning disabilities.....

Anyway, one of my tasks whilst in this role was to teach basic social skills and cookery...............................

Well.........

We were making basic beans on toast.......................
One person was getting the right amount of slices of bread, another toasting it in the toaster, another setting the table, one opening the tins of beans, some one else buttering the bread....you get the picture.................
So...........I had asked one of the group to get the right number of plates out of the cupboard, well he didn't want to, so I asked if he felt that it was fair if he didn't help, but still ate................ he said no, and reluctantly got the plates, but he was clearly quite cross.

 My back was to him, but there was a reflective surface in front of me........
Behind my back, he held both of his hands up, level with his shoulders, palms facing himself, and started lifting and lowering his hands simultaneously at speed.

I asked him what he was doing out of curiosity.
He said that he was being rude and apologised. I was a bit puzzled and asked him how he was being rude.

He replied,
'I'm putting all of my fingers up to you'.
Again, I asked how that was rude.
He said.....
'If putting one middle finger up is rude, and putting two fingers up is ruder, then putting all of his fingers up was the very rudest!'

I thought that this was very funny, and trying to explain why it wasn't rude to put all fingers up without laughing, was one of the most difficult things that I can remember doing!

Just thinking of that, reminded me of another 'interesting occurance in a similar situation, but that is for another day!

That's it for today really, catch you again soon.

4th December

Not much to report today...........................
Two of the managers came to see me on Thursday to see if there was anything that could be done in the way of support for me at work, which was a very kind gesture.

I am a bit confused about something though.......
The Company have got a new 'pension provider'. The company pay towards it and so do we, the employees.
My question is..........
I would not be retiring for another 10-11 years. Is it worth me carrying on with it?
I need to make my mind up before 7th December, I think that I am going to have to  speak with some one in the know. I wanted to hold out until after my appointment at the hospital on 8th, but that doesn't appear possible.

We sign our rent agreement for another year on 10th...........If anything happens to me, it leaves Mum and Derek liable for the rest of the year, Mum's a pensioner, and Derek is unemployed, how will they manange?

Oh, so much to think about and try to resolve, by brain is whirring!