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Monday, 2 January 2012

2nd January 2012

Here we are, the end of the festivities...the return of 'normal' life.
Back to work tomorrow.
As I have no idea how the chemo will affect me this time around, I can't commit to any more work, until I do know.
Then thing that worries me, is that this chemo has what is called 'radio recall'.
My understanding of this, is that the pain and discomfort of the radio therapy is very likely to return.
I am not looking forward to this at all!!!!!!!

OK....How I feel physically:-
Hiccoughs...I get these a lot, especially at night when I change positions in bed.
Discomfort to the upper right side of my abdomen...not often though.
Occasional pain to my chest area.....short lived and not often.
Tinnitus....still there.
Neuropathy...seems to be gone!
Pain to my lower back and left hip/groin area.
Head aches.
Nausea, a lot of nausea.
Sudden heat surges, I need to go in the garden to cool down, this is getting more and more frequent.
Not much appetite...will eat a bit if it is put in front of me, but don't get the urge to eat, certainly not enough to go and fetch it or prepare it. I do it though, because I know that Mum MUST eat. Derek is the main meal maker at the moment though.
I did all the cooking over the holidays, but again, that was for my family.
Pain and discomfort to both shoulders and the left side of my neck, ear, idea what that is all about!!!!!

The pain killers and the medication regime are working really well, so no real issues.

I feel weak.....can't even open a jar!!!!!!
I feel tired, and I am sleeping for longer and longer as time goes by.

I used to be up at 05.30, and go to bed at 22.00.
Now, I wake at about 07.30, and I need to go to bed by 21.00, and some times at 20.00.
No big deal, still gives me all day to enjoy!

How I feel emotionally/mentally:-
Anti-social a lot of the time. Enjoying my own company. If I have prepared, and am aware, that is OK, but 'surprise visits'....I have to really try very hard to appear gracious.
Short tempered...........sort of............I get cross when some one expresses something in a paragraph, when 2 or 3 words would do!!!!!  You know what I mean....Oh, for goodness sake, get on with it!!!!!
I spend a lot of time day dreaming, and enjoying it!

I am worried about what is to come.............will there be pain? Will it be sudden? Will it take days/weeks? Will I remain concious? Will I still be able to recognise friends and family? Will I need help to wash, dress, shower, use the toilet?

Will I be financial 'sound' when I am unable to work?

I will answer these questions as time goes on, I feel that the answers will be so important to others going through a similar situation.

All in all...feeling pretty good, and I can get on with most aspects of daily living.
Just so bloody tired!!!!!