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Monday, 9 January 2012

10th January - 5th day of 1st CAV chemo

Good Morning!
Feeling so much better today!

Well, as you know, I had the chemo on 5th.
Since then, I have  felt bloody awful!
Nausea, tummy cramps, hiccoughs, gallopping wind, tired, raging headache, dizzyness, dry mouth, everything tastes weird................

I have had the phlebitis back, not fun, the neuropathy, that I thought had gone has returned, and the tinnitus is getting worse.

I have been in bed by 20.00hrs, and rarely up in the morning before 08.00hrs.

Anyway, I am feeling so much better today, so much so, I am going to see if I can have my wonderful 'spa day' at Hoar Cross Hall today......keep your fingers crossed for me!
With luck, after that I will be back to my normal self!

I will be seeing my McMillan Nurse, and a McMillan therapist on Friday.
I see my Oncologist again on 18th. Roxanne will be coming with me.

In all seriousness, I have been thinking that to continue with chemo may not be the best thing for me.
After I have had it, I feel really rotten.
So, 3 sessions equals 3 rotten weeks, out of a potential 3-4 months, making it 2-3 months.
It is is successful in reducing the tumours, then that is 6 session, making 6 weeks of yuk, with the potential of living 11 months, one and a half feeling rotten is 9 1/2 months.

I do appreciate that I am going to feel rotten towards the end any way, but that will be with or with out chemo.
So,  my thinking is, get everything that I want to do in before the end of February/March, and all will work out!
Although I would love it if I managed to see another whole summer!

And you never  know.... miracles Do happen!!!


Carole said...

Hi Carol,

Hope you manage to get to your Spa day today and that it leaves you feeling refreshed and calm.

It's a real catch 22 situation with the chemo isn't it :(
I again discussed my reasons not to go ahead with chemo yesterday with my Macmillan nurse. She totally 'gets' my logic which is the same as what you're saying re: time left vs time spent feeling good/crap...

I'm not budging on my decision because although I DO want longer (who doesn't!) I *don't* want the side effects that come with longer.

I'm hoping that as you progress through your treatment you have LESS days where you feel so bad and many many more where you feel good.

Love and thoughts to you, always

Carol said...

Hi Carole,
I respect your brave decision, I have discussed with the family, they will support me what ever I choose, I will talk to McMillan nurse and Oncologist....I have pretty much made my mind up though, I have until 26th Jan to turn 90% sure into 100%! Take care Carole, sending 'feel good vibes'! Hugs

Tony Songhurst said...

Hello Carol, Glad that you are feeling better.

I had really bad nausea straight after chemo which lasted for 3-4 days...It is the worst feeling as there is absolutely nothing I could do about it apart from taking sedatives to knock me out. Even the anti-sickness drugs didn't want to work.

As for whether or not to have the chemo...I had 16 sessions then a 3 month rest and absolutely though long and hard whether to go back on it...It starts again on Monday and I feel strangely excited as it may work at reducing my tumours.

As Carole says it really is a catch 22 as quality over slightly more quantity is a hard question to consider. However I am still hoping that I will be cured even though the doctors tell me I wont....what do they know.

Hope the spa day happens

Much love

Tony xxxx

Carol said...

Hi Tony,
Yes it is a difficult decision....
Still got until 26th to decide, and need ot speak to Mc Millan and Onc......
Had a great day at the Spa, it did happen, and it really did help!
Yes, you are right, Doctors can be wrong...wishing you a long, happy and nausea free life!
Sending healing thoughts,