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Monday, 22 August 2011

22nd August

Well, today is my son, Keith's birthday! Happy Birthday Keith!

No more exploding glasses today! Lol!

I feel so....Nowhere..........
I can't explain it really.

OK, I know that I still have cancer. I know that it is in 'remission', (behaving, not growing, just waiting, spying on me...............)

So, is it re-grouping for another attack? Exhausted, and given up the fight? Lulling me into a false sense of security?

Is it looking for other places to set up home? Just slowly infiltrating the rest of my body? In tiny pieces in my blood stream....(as is suspected by the Doctors etc)?

All this not knowing is doing my head in!

It doesn't matter how hard I try to forget, and believe that I am now free of all of this, it just niggles at the back of my mind.

Will I every stop feeling tired? Will my memory return to it's former self?
(Which has always been a bit 'suspect', lol!)
Will this bloody awful buzzing and ringing in my ears ever go away?

Will I ever get rid rid of this persistent headache?

I don't know!!!!! No one knows!!!!!

I am in the 'watchful waiting' stage....Is this a 'forever' thing?

Welcome to uncertainty, to Limbo Land!


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Carol said...