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Friday 1 July 2011

1st July - 12th day of 6th chemo cycle

I was unable to post yesterday as I couldn't connect to the 'blogger dash board'.So far, so good for today.......................................

OK..........
My husband, Derek, was unwell, and went to the Doctors.
It transpires that he is probably depressed. This is apparently because he is concerned about my health.

After he spoke with the doctor, where he apparently 'broke down', he came home and discussed this with me.

He feels unable to talk about his aches, pains and general feelings because he feels that they are insignificant compared to what I am going through.

He feels that I am strong, and tend to say things like,
'Get a grip and get on with it'.
'Stop fretting about what you can't change and channel energy in to stuff that you can'...................................
You get the picture.


This makes him feel a bit inadequate, and feels that he can't talk to me about how he feels.............................................
This brings us back to the elephant in the room..............................

Well, all that I can say is that it is really important to communicate to your friends and family how you feel, allow them to tell you how they feel, appreciate and accept that they will say things that you don't want to hear, and let them know that you will say things that they don't want to hear.

Listen and be listened to, speak and be understood.

This could change the whole way in which you are supported and support others.

Clearly, it is something that I didn't do that I should have.



2 comments:

Carole said...

Poor Derek....I get the picture.

Sometimes *we* need to admit it's hard/tough/difficult and stop putting a brave face onto everything because it does make it harder for those around us to admit that they too are struggling.

Have I told you how much I F* hate cancer :(

Big hugs for Derek today and none for you - lol...only joking of course, hugs all round (((hugs)))

xxxx

nb: F* insert favourite insulting word of your choice

Carol said...

Hi Carole,
Yes....I tried to keep things 'normal', but things aren't normal and no pretence will change that.
Anyway, great to hear from you...take care Carole, and I don't mind sharing your hugs Lol!