29th February 2012

Oh! What a beautiful day it has been today!

Sunny, and quite warm for the last day in February.
The glorious sunshine is showing the garden as tired and weary after the winter.
A good old tidy up is needed. I think that I will start on that on Monday, just doing a little bit here, and a little bit there.............

A couple of days ago, when I woke, I saw a Heron in the fish pond.
Naturally, I chased it off.
The beauty of the bird in flight is astounding!
Anyway, since then I have been popping up the garden and having a look to see if I can see any fish.

Well, I have seen none to date, so I believe that the Heron had a superb breakfast, (little sweetie!)

On the 'up' side, should make the pond so much easier to clean out.
Having said that, I can't imagine what it must have felt like for the fish, being scooped up and whacked down the throat of a Heron...................
Urgh....doesn't bare thinking about.....so, I shan't!

I am at the Hospice Day Centre tomorrow, I haven't been for a bit, so I am looking forward to that.

I was supposed to meet a friend, (Sandra), in town today, (or I thought that I was), but like the 'bomb head' that I am, I got all the dates mixed up, and it is next Wednesday, not today.
Just as well, as I don't really feel up to it.
Claire. is coming to see me this evening, so that is good...(That is assuming that I haven't got even more dates muddled!)

28th February 2012

Ok, Reality Check.

Below is what I was told on 12th December.

If I don't have chemo, there will be a rapid decline in my health, and I will be dead in less than 4 months.
If I do have chemo, and it is working, I will have it for the rest of my life which could be as long as 1 year.

After 3 chemo cycles, I will have a scan.
If the tumours are getting smaller, we will continue.
If they remain the same size, we will have another discussion with the oncologist.
If there is no change, then the chemo will stop, my health will decline, and I will die.

Well, they did remain the same, another discussion was had with my Oncologist..

It was decided that we would dis continue chemo as it was making no difference.
As I mentioned, I have another appointment on 18th April, but my Oncologist feels that I will need to see him him again before then.

Based on information given to me before my palliative chemo, what I was told at my last oncologist visiit, the symptoms that I have so far, and some research on the internet specifically about small cell cancer in the lung, and a report from the Consultant that I saw regarding one of my pensions...........

Prognosis
2 - 6 months max.

So.........I need to crack on and do the other things on my bucket list, preferably, before the end on April!

SO...ONWARD AND UPWARD.....RE-CHARGE BATTERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET READY FOR THE FIGHT AHEAD!!!

26th Feb 2012

Well, today I thought that I would share some of my physical symptoms with you all.
I hope that this will help anyone in a similar situation.

Tinnitus (result of chemo)
.
Headaches (Benign tumour on brain? Stress?)

'Sensations' to left of face, neck, shoulder and arm. (No idea)
.
Occasional cough, (lung)

Dull ache to left back below shoulder blade, continuing to the front, with occasional sharp pain to the left chest. (Cancer in left lung).

Dull ache to right upper abdomen, with sharp pain in moving in a certain way.
I instinctively put my hand on the pain, and I can physically feel one of the tumours in my liver! How fascinating is that? (Tumour(s) in liver.

Continuous dull ache to lower back, left hip and left thigh, with persistent pain on over activity. (Bone cancer, lymphnode cancer in groin, osteoporosis).

Hiccoughs (Liver).

Nausea.
Severe indigestion..

Finger nails turning blue.
Tiredness.

Memory....What memory?????


Most of the above are being controlled effectively by medication.

To be perfectly honest, I think that I am very lucky, at this stage, considering the cancers and prognosis, things could be a great deal worse.

24th February 2012 - Oncologist yesterday

Well, I know that some of will have noticed that I got my dates all muddled when I blogged last.....sorry!
Today is Friday 24th, I went to see the Oncologist on Thursday 23rd, (yesterday), so my last blog was 22nd not 23rd.

So?! I was confused!!! Lol!

Now that that is sorted ............Phew................................

Keith arrived at about 6.00pm on 23rd, and Roxanne came at about 8.00pm.

We went together to see the Oncologist yesterday, for the results of the scan etc.
Roxanne and Keith were very supportive and it was great to have them there.

I have to say that the Ocologist was wonderful today, very different from the last time that I saw him, so, as suspected, he was having a bad day then............

The chemo to date hasn't made any difference to the size of the tumours, so the Oncologist agrees that not to continue with chemo at this time is a sensible decision.

The scan also indicated that not only is the bone cancer as it was prior to the chemo,
the chemo has thinned the bone even further and caused osteoporosis .

The Oncologists expectation is the nature will take it's course. The tumours will grow.
As time progresses I will become very unwell. He did suggest that there were treatments that would make me feel as comfortable as possible when the time comes.

An appointment has been made for 18th April with an implication that I may need to see him before then, in which case, I should just call his secretary and make an appointment at the earliest convenience.

This will probably all happen relatively quickly now................And I say.....

After we went to the Oncologist, we went to Sunnyside Kennels, just up the road.
Keith was thinking about getting a dog. There are few dog homes in the lakes, and fewer unwanted dogs, which is great!
Any way, we looked here.......
Keith saw a little beauty, we walked her, Keith was really keen....Sarah, his partner, was not so keen, she wanted to be there when a family pet was chosen. Fair enough.
Poor Keith was gutted, bless him.. To be fair, Roxanne and Sarah are probably the most sensible of us all! Lol!
I would have picked a beauty too, but it would be selfish of me....I like to be around for all or most of any pets life. Poor Dougal, he is only 4 now, but Derek will be around.........

Well, you may have guessed, we all went to the Wing Wah.....(didn't fancy cooking after all of that!)

The Manager came and spoke with me..........as you may remember, there was a cock up with the Chinese New year dates....well, he wants me to pick another date, and he will organise an individual Chinese New year for me and my guests...
He also gave me 3 x £5.00 vouchers, and his business card.
I feel so spoilt!
And I LIKE IT! More Please!

23rd February 2012

Yesterday, I had a bad day.
I didn't get up until just before 1.00pm.
I spent the rest of the day napping on and off.
I felt some discomfort to the right of my upper abdomen, beneath the shoulder blades on both sides of my back and the lower back.

Today, I am feeling a lot better!

I have noticed that the nail beds to both of my thumbs are very blue by the cuticle, I think that I may have to start wearing nail varnish daily to hide it! What agrand excuse to go out and buy some......just thinking of all those vibrant colours is filling me with glee!!!!!

I have to go to see the Oncologist tomorrow for the results of my last scan.
Roxanne is coming today, and Keith is coming tomorrow, so I am looking forward to that.

Keith has an interview in Swindon on Friday too, so that is exciting!
(Although, Keith lives and works in the Lake District now, I would be thinking......
Lake District........Swindon? Lake District.......Swindon? hmmmmmm??)

The Lakes.

Swindon

Hope that you all have a great day!!!

Monday 20th Februrary 2012

I went to Compton Hospice on Thursday 16th.
It was great! Had my chat(s) with the Nurses, who are fabulous!
I started to do some 'rug making'!
I think that I have got the hang of it now, so I may design a rug and complete it.
I took my jewellery making stuff, and I left it there, so I hope that I can re-discover' it when I go next..
(Just noticed that the font is different to normal......hope it looks better when I 'publish'!)

The Spa Weekend!!!!!!
Roxanne came on Thursday evening.
Friday morning, Dot arrived, closely followed by Jean.
All the bags bunged in to the boot..........
Roxanne, Dot and Mum in the back, Jean in the front, and me driving......we're off!!!!!! Yay!

We arrived at Chesford Grange 1 hour later, at 10.30 am ish.
Our rooms weren't going to be ready until 11.00
We 'cased' the joint, and then went into the bar area for some lunch.

Our rooms were ready by the time we had eaten, and we went and unpacked, and changed into our cozzies.

We went to the pool and had a splosh around, some of us swimming lengths, and others just relaxing and chatting.
We had the pool all to ourselves!
Ordinarily.I would have been in the steam room too, but it was too hot.
Dot and Roxanne went in there though.
The rest of us were on and off of the heated loungers and in and out of the pool.

I was a bit sad realising that I could no longer just swim 20 plus lengths before tiring even a little, but hey ho!
I did manage a few blocks of 2 lengths, then a little rest, another 2 lengths, rest and so on..
It was hard to think that only a few years ago, I was a fast and strong swimmer, with stamina, and a qualified life saver...........Ah, well, life goes on............

At 2.30, we went to register for our treatments.
Mum and Jean went first, so me, Dot and Roxanne went back to the pool.
3.30, Mum and Jean done, so Roxanne and Dot went in.
Jean was relaxed to the extreme! Lol! She went up to the room for a kip!
Mum was very relaxed too, so she and I went to have a coffee in the coffee shop.
4.30, I went in, Dot and Roxanne went back to the pool, Mum stayed in the coffee shop, and Jean was still in her room..
I was out at 5.30. We catted a bit in the coffee shop and then went to our rooms to get ready for dinner at 7.00 pm.
We met in the bar at 6.30 pm and had a drink.

The dinner was fabulous, we each had something different, and then we were having tastes of each others food...lol!
We ate, chatted and laughed until 9.30!
9.45, we were all getting ready for bed!

I was up at 06.00am.. Through no fault of mine...(hehehehe), so were Mum and Roxanne, we were sharing a family room........Huge, with 3 double beds, (One was a sofa bed)...A walk in wardrobe, and a fabulous en suite.
Anyway...shower, dressed and packed.....breakfast.

We all met for breakfast. I had another treatment at 10.00 which was bought for me by Dean and Nikki......it was fab. Thank you both so much!
While I was having this treatment, the others went back into the pool.

Then...............we all played Cludo...Yay!
Fab game, we had great fun! Oh, and by the way.....I won....(hehehehe),
Just in time for lunch!

We arrived home at 3.00pm.
I would certainly go there again, the staff were brilliant, they made every individual in our group, and the group as a whole, feel as if we were the only ones there, and I dare say that is how they made every one there feel. Yep, I would definitely go there again..

15th February - 2012 (15th day of final chemo! Yay!)

Phil and Dawn arrived, and we all had a great meal and chat at the Wing Wah.
After wards, we all came home.
We chatted and chatted... Richard left first, and before we knew where we were, it was getting dark and Phil and Dawn had to go.
I was really tired by this time, but I was really pleased to see every one.

                                                                                                                                 
Keith and Roxanne stayed.  Keith, Roxanne and Derek had pizza later in the evening...not for me, I was still full from lunch. We continued chatting...then I was knackered and had to go to bed.

Sunday.
Hick and Pembo came to pick Roxanne up, she had to go to work on Monday.........
(Not forgetting that Hick and Pembo wanted to be home for the Rugby Lol!)

Keith stayed over. I cooked a great Sunday lunch, If I do say so myself!
(There were two small pieces of the chocolate concrete left, so Keith and I had them with custard for dessert! yummy!)
We talked about his work and some new opportunities that have presented themselves, so there are a few exciting things going on there!

Monday.
I was really feeling tired from all of the excitement over the past few days, so I slept later for longer than usual.
 I had to take mum to the clinic to have her bloods checked, so we all left the house at about the same time. Keith drove back home.

After I had taken mum to have her bloods done, I brought her home, had a quick drink, and then I had to go for my own hospital appointment. The scan.
Derek came with me.

I had to to drink that horrid stuff. 2 litres of it, within an hour.
The, I got undressed, and went for the scan. An MRI. This is the 'giant Polo mint one.............
Anyway, when I was lying in position, I had to have a needle inserted in readiness to have the dye injected.
Scan complete, then off home.
This brought us to 19.00hrs.

I was so pleased to get home, and really knackered. Straight into my jimjams and 'Relax!'....Ahhhhhhhh!

Tuesday.
Slobbed around for the morning, then went to buy this game of 'Cludo'.
Roxanne brought one when she and the rest of the family came for Christmas.
It was a great game, and I thought that I would like my own.
I had been searching the net...but I couldn't find the exact one, so I decided to go to 'Toys R us'.
Well, they didn't have the one I wanted either, but I did get one....(no, not the Harry Potter one!)
I want it to play during the evening with a glass of wine when we are away at the 'Spa Break!'

Wednesday, (today).
Up with the lark, downstairs, coffee on....feeling great!
Fell over!!!!!
Not sure what or how....one minute I am upright...then I am not!
No damage.......just hurt my left toe a bit............nothing to write home about!
Any way, I decided to sit and write this....keeps me out of mischief!!!!!!!

Excuse me.......Did I hear some one say 'Drama Queen?'

And your point is????

Tomorrow.
Hospice all day.
Friday (and Saturday).
Off for the Spa!

Results from the scan on Thursday 23rd Feb!

Saturday 1th Feb 2012

Yesterday, Roxanne came. Shortly after wards, Dot and Pete arrived with a bunch of roses,,,,, fab Thanks!
Jacky, my friend came, with scrummy biscuits! We had a bit of a house full. It was fun, loads of chat and laughs.

Jacky has a rescue dog, called George. When Dot and Pete had gone home, George came in from the car.
I thought that Dougal would be upset, but he wasn't, neither was George.
We did have the advantage of having Roxanne here, she knows what she is doing with animals, having studied the subject at college, so she took charge. It was great.

Later, Jacky and George left.
Me, Mum and Roxanne went to Town, did a bit of shopping, then back home.
We arrived home to find that Keith had arrived!

Had a great evening just chatting and laughing.................................

Today, my brother Phil, sisiter in law, Dawn, Keith, Roxanne, Richard, Mum, me and Derek to the Wing Wah!!!!!!!!

I was thinking about why I was feeling so unwell for such a long time. I felt that it may be the new meds.......so I stopped the new one, returned to the old ones, and I feel so very much better now! Mind you, the improvement may have nothing to do with the meds, may just be that the chemo at last has stopped giving me grief........
Hey ho.
Scan on Monday at 16.40.
Oncologist on 23rd at 10.15. Keith and Roxanne are coming to this one.

As far as my hair loss goes, it is a bit weird this time, a little skirt of hair remains on each side at the front.
As I have no eyebrows, this little skirt looks like very high eye brows.......
Keith said that it makes me look like 'Ming The Merciless!' Lol!

The only thing that put that in doubt, is my choice of jimjams and dressing gown.
Covered in images of my favourite character
From the Muppet's,
It's ANIMAL!!!!!!!!     YAY!!!!!!!!

Friday 10th February 2012

Yesterday, I went to the Hospice, I had a 'treatment'....bliss!
Really calming and relaxing.
Had a manicure, equally relaxing, had 1:1 with my nurse. Very cathartic!
Had lunch, made some jewellery and assisted some patients with it if they needed.
Then off to have my bloods done.

The appointment just said 'jtox'.....(sounds more like a Street Dance crew  to me......)

This is 'Flawless'.............But imagine...they could be called jtox lol!

I love these Street Dancing Crews, they are fabulous to watch, and so talented!

Anyway, they took bloods and then I was sent to the nurse to discuss the results.
All readings a bit ;ow, but nothing to worry about.
I have cancelled my next course of chemo, and brought the appointment with the oncologist forward.
Scan 13th,,,(Derek's birthday), Onc app 23rd. Should have the results of the scan by then too.

Richard, my step son......(kum foo'd Ninja!)....he made a great steak and ale pie a couple of days ago, with peas, cabbage and potatoes...it was fab! Thanks Rich!

He has earned the name Kum foo'd Ninja because he often turns up, prepares or completes a meal for us, and disappears!  LOL! (And he can do it without being noticed! Lol!)

The chocolate concrete that Leigh made was sooooooooo delicious!  Drool, drool, slurp, slurp!

Roxanne is on her way from Leicester now, so I need ot go and pick her up from the station.
My friend Jacky is visiting today, so that is good.
Family lunch at the Wing Wah tomorrow!
All is well at the Western Front!

Wednesday 8th Feb 2012

Well, sadly. the purple bucket had to come out again yesterday....but the good news is......I didn't actually have to use it!!!!!!!

Went to Birmingham to Neville House on Waterloo Street to discuss a pension....that all went well.

Derek came with me because I wasn't sure how well I would feel and for how long.
Anyway, Sandra met us at the station, and we took a little stroll to Waterloo Street.
Oh, it was good to see her, we haven't seen each other since 3rd Jan....loads of phone calls though! Lol!

Did the 'deed', and then went to meet Leigh, Faye and Claire......needless to say, I am waiting in the wrong spot...(again), nothing new there then!

Lol! Not quiet......................................

Oooooooo, yummy toastie and coffee.....loads of girlie chat! It was fab!

(Derek got bored and went on a walk about)...so we could do more proper girl stuff, you know what I mean....un-hindered!

Leigh made me some cocolate choncrete....(I know that I said it wrong....all the excitement! Lol!)

In fact, I just went to have some....and there's no bloody custard! (Derek's gone out to get me some....I'm drooling at the thought!) Thanks Leigh!

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor doggie a bone,
When she got there
The cupboard was bare
So the poor little doggie had none.

Poor little Carol had none, is more like it! Lol!

Old Mother Hubbard?  Carol Hubbard? No custard?

Oh, never mind....lol! I thought that it was funny anyway!!!!!

All too soon, it was time for the girls to get back to work, so me, Sandra and Derek went to do some retail therapy......OK, OK............I went to do some retail therapy and they both came with me Lol!

Just what the Doctor ordered!!! 

(Well, she would have done if I was a Doctor!)

Sadly, I only managed to go to one shop, then I was hanging, and had to go to the station and get back home.
Never mind!!!!! I had a great time!

Yesterday, I received a bouquet of flowers.....red roses, yellow sun flowers, pink and purple chrysanthemums......from my cousins.... gorgeous!

Tomorrow????????
Hospice, therapies and bloods!
Now, I await my knight in shining custard!!!!!!!!! lol!

7th February 2012 - 7th day of this chemo cycle

Hooooooooo - Bloody - Ray!!!!!!!!

First day that I have been able to separate myself from my trusty companion!!!!!!!
(A great big purple bucket!)

So far today....no feeling sick, no being sick!

Still woozy, tired and weak, but not too bad.

I feel able to poke my nose over the 'purple pit', and see more than my innards after they have made a grand appearance!

I have felt quite low, and a bit neurotic! This week is the first time that I have felt even the slightest bit tearful or woeful.
That, is now behind me!!!!!!!!
Yay!

I think that I can at last, shake off this feeling sorry for myself and jump back on the back of 'The rest of my life!'

Now then...........shower, dress, and 'Get a Grip!

Feeling relatively positive again now, so fresh strawberries for breakfast, and maybe a bit of retail therapy!

I have to go to Birmingham tomorrow to see about one of my pensions.........
My friend, Sandra is meeting me at the station, we are both going to my appointment.
3 more friends are meeting me afterwards, Claire, Faye and Leigh. Then we are going for coffee.

I was supposed to go to the Hospice yesterday, but I was not feeling up to going out, but I am at the Hospice again on Thursday.
I have to go to the Hospital and have my 'bloods' done on Thursday too.

Saturday, a family lunch at the Wing Wah.....Philip, Dawn, Roxanne, Keith, Derek, Mum and Richard.

13th.......a scan to see if the chemo has reduced the tumours at all....not sure when I will get the results, not that it makes a 'ha'peth' of difference...no more chemo for me!!!!!!
SO THERE!!!!!!!!