30th July

Nothing to report today, so I thought that it may be of interest to you to see this short video. 

Have  a great weekend! See you on Monday evening.

Interesting........just goes to show.......................................

29th July

Morning all!
Well, nothing much to report again...........
I still have tinnitus, but no real problem.
Felling quite tired and lack lustre....this, I thought I had over come to a degree, but it seems to be getting a bit more noticeable over the last couple of days...lol! probably just tired.........
My tummy feels a bit weird....... cramps, general aches, no real issue though, doesn't really affect what I am doing much.............
The thing that is relatively new, that does bother me a bit, is starting to salivate, like I am going to be sick........have been really close, but managed to 'head it off' lol!
Again, no real issue, just a bit unpleasant.
Still a bit of neuropathy in my feet, no change, and no problem
I will mention this all on Monday, in fact, I had better write it down or I will forget!

Sooooooooo, all in all.............. I am feeling good!!

Wednesday 27th July

Morning Everyone!

Well, yesterday, I went to funeral in Birmingham.
Robert King - aged 81 years. You will be sadly missed.  My thoughts are with his family and very close friends. Rest in Peace.

I can tell you that the M6 doesn't change, despite all of the work that was designed to relieve congestion.
It took me one and three quarter hours to travel less that 20 miles!
And...this was not peak time!

A taste of what I have to look forward to when I return to work on 5th September...when I WILL be travelling at peak times!
Ho Hum................................................

When I got back, Richard , my step son, was sitting on the couch with his leg up! He hurt his foot playing football.
He is staying with us until it is better.
It does look nasty!
I bandaged it and and waited on him...lol!

I think that he should go to the hospital for an xray, but he said that he would prefer to wait and see what it is like this morning, so that's what we are doing....
As I said, it does look nasty!

Have made Roxanne's bag for the wedding, she wanted a small drawstring bag with gems on it.
So....this is done. I used a CD as a base, the sides are about 8" high, ivory velvet with a purple ribbon as the draw string. I sewed 6 medium sized crystal quartz gems on it.
'Bloody lovely', if I say it myself! Lol!
Not long now to the big day!

Today, I have an appointment at the McMillan centre.........................
An appointment with the Oncologist on Monday, then, I hope that I am all 'done and dusted!'

The Friday after, travel to Scotland, family meal in the hotel during the evening, and the wedding the next day, and then travel back straight afterwards.
So, all in all a busy week next week.

25th July

Hi all,

I received an appointment with the Oncologist for Monday.........this is a bit of a surprise, because I was expecting an appointment with the Cancer Doctor, and.......


I have decided that he was going to tell me that I am all clear....

Oh well, I guess that he has delegated that task to the Oncologist!

Should have some fab news on Monday.....Yay!!!!!!!

24th July

This is really weird!

I am getting headaches daily, feel really tired and lethargic consistanly...(before it would come and go, or come after I had been a bit busy), and I have a general feeling of un-wellness that I can't really put my finger on. I feel sick occasionally and have lost my appetite, but that will certainly not do me any harm right now.
I wonder if it is because I have come to an end of a very stressful and uncomfortable situation, and all my.........not sure what, woes, if you like, are coming out now.
As I said on Friday, I can cry at a drop of a hat....

I dunno.................

What on earth is going on!!!!!!!
Hopefully I will get the appointment with the Doctor soon, and I can get some answers.

Tinnitus still there...
Neuropathy...no change.

Like I said, really weird!

Hey Ho...such is life................

22nd July

Well...............................................................
Not sure what's going on! I think that I am going potty!!!
I cry at the drop of a hat.......keep feeling sick....this has been going on for about a week, I didn't pay much attention at first, but it seems to be a regular thing.
I haven't got  any appetite today....

Oh well, no matter!
It will all sort itself out.

I went to town yesterday, I wanted something from the market.
Pootled off, paid the car parking fees, strolled to the market....It was closed, I had forgotten that it isn't open on Thursdays! Remembered that it is closed on Monday's though...not that that was any help at all!
I was going to go again today, but I really don't feel well enough.

Nothing else to say right now, so I will sign off and talk again on Sunday!

Hope that you all have a great week end, and to those of you who are feeling unwell, or are in hospital, my thoughts are with you.....(you know who you are!)

Thursday 21st July

I went to the hospital yesterday for 'headstrong'. This is a 1:1 session that goes through different ways to cover your hairless head. There were loads of ideas and demonstrations on how to put scarves and other head coverings on, with information on where to get the stuff.
Well, I had a real giggle, it was fun! Certainly gave me inspiration!

The wedding is getting closer and closer now...I am so excited!

OK......
How do I feel?

Well, I was expecting to feel all better and well, back to normal...............
No, I do not.
I still feel very positive, and until told differently, still the same odds as discussed at the beginning of my journey......
50% chance of living more than 5 years,
and
50% chance of dying within 5 years. Pretty good odds!
I have no intention of going anywhere soon!

Still tire, difficulty concentrating for any length of time, eye sight...still a bit poor for close up work, and using the computer.
Tinnitus, still there.......
Neuropathy in feet, still there,
Continence.........a bit crazy still in the mornings, for about 1 1/2 hours, from waking.

All of the above are manageable....So, good news all around. I have met so many great people on my journey, through 'Cancer chat sites', the hospital and face book. They have all been a great support to me. Thank you all, and I wish you all what you would wish for yourselves.
So.....another great positive!

I have found that my priorities have changed....many of the things that were so important to me seem insignificant now...............
So what if there is dust on the furniture,
Who cares if the pots wait an hour or two before they get washed,
I didn't make my bed before 8am.......AND?

Family, friends, chatting, reading, making things, noticing the feathers that have fallen from the fledglings, new buds opening in the garden...they are the important things.
Take time out to look at them and appreciate them, enjoy the moment, love life!

Tuesday 19th July - The scan

Morning all!
Well, here I am again as promised.

Yesterday was a very full day. (I'm exhausted!).

I went to pick Roxanne up from the station, From there we went into town to pick up a few last minute bits and pieces for the wedding. Quite easy, and it didn't take long.
We had lunch and then took Mum to the clinic to check her blood levels. Went home for about an hour, then Roxanne and I went to the hospital for my scan.

When I got there, the first thing that I had to do, was to drink about 2 litres of this white stuff..... this had to be done within 1 hour.
Not too unpleasant, but I would order it in a cafe! Lol!

From there, I wa taken into a small changing room.
I had to strip, keeping only my knickers and shoes, and the wonderful hospital gown. It to the scan room.
A cannula was put into my arm whilst I was laying on the bed/trolley that manoeuvres you into the machine. A few minutes later, the nurse came back in and started the 'drip' going....(Not me, the infusion!).
The machine did it's 'thing'. I had to breath in and hold my breath until told to breath again.....the machine gave the instructions, that was a bit eerie!

All done, back to a tiny waiting area, where I had to wait for 10 minutes before the cannula was removed.
The stuff that was infused was some sort of iodine solution.
I felt it go into my body...it made me feel very hot and left a weird taste/sensation in the back of my throat.
It will about a week before the results are known, as I said before, I understand that this scan is to use as a benchmark for future checks, so I don't expect the results to be conclusive in anyway.
Back home for about 18.30.......... Plated up a salad for every one, collapsed on the couch and just chatted until bed time.

This morning, I feel a bit 'queezy' and 'loose'.

Only about 2-3 weeks to the wedding....the excitement is mounting. It is always great to spend time with Roxanne and Keith. Great to have the pleasure..............
I spent time with Keith last week, and I am spending time with Roxanne yesterday and today! Fab!

Here they are together, one of the rare occasions, this was taken about 3 years ago...

Saturday 16th July

Well....again, not a lot to report today.
I still have tinnitus, neuropathy, lethargy and general tiredness and a raging tooth ache! Will find out on Monday if I can see the dentist for treatment yet, when I have my scan.
Other than that, doing OK, thank you very much!

A new Aldi has opened just around the corner, it opened yesterday. Well, Mum decided that she wanted to have a look around, so off we went.
When we got there, I suggested that we got a trolley..............
Mum said that there was no need, because she was only going to look.......................
(Heard that one before...she has an 'air freshener' fetish!)
Well, an hour later, we reached the tills, I have my arms full of stuff that she bought, I could barely see over the top! Lol!
I had to laugh, because I knew it would happen, but Mum's know best!
To add insult to injury, Mum said that she wanted to go back today to do some shopping!!!   I give up...................................

I think that my hair has stopped falling out now, my head is covered in loads of completely bald patches with little tufts sticking out all over the place, so I think that I will go to the hairdressers and have my head shaved to the bone and then have a quick polish!
(I just want to make sure that it all grows back evenly, and I am not in a rush).

I probably wont post again until Monday evening or Tuesday morning....as I don't think that there is going to be a lot to say, and I would hate you all to get bored.
Have a great week end!

13th July

I went to see Keith in the Lake District yesterday. My brother in law, Pete took me and brought me back...Thanks Pete!
I spent some time with Keith. He and I went for a lovely walk and spent some lovely time time together...just he and I.
I saw Sarah, Keith's girl friend, lovely woman....all in all a good time was had.

This is an aerial picture of Lindale, the village that Keith and Sarah live, and it was around this area that we walked.

Roxanne is coming on Monday.

My friend Ann did the Race for life, and completed it in 1 hour and 3 minutes.
She had my name on her back! Thanks Ann!
I will post a picture as soon as I can get this bloody 'blue tooth' to get it of my phone!!!!!!
This is a pic from the 'net' instead 'till I sort the blue tooth.

My appointment for a scan has come through.
I need to go on Monday 18th July at 16.20 hrs.
The scan is at 17.20 hrs, but I have to drink this 'stuff' first.
1 hour to drink the stuff, and 20 minutes for the scan.
I can have nothing to eat or drink for 2 hours prior to the scan.......not totally sure if this is 2 hours before the actual scan, or 2 hours before I have to drink this 'stuff', which would be 3 hours before the scan, I shall err on the side of caution and make it 3 hours.............

The results of the scan will be sent in report form to the Doctor. The Doctor will then organise an appointment to see me, and discuss these results.

What is a CT Scan?

This is done using a special X ray machine, you lay on a bed, and your whole body will pass through a doughnut shaped section at the end of the bed.
The X rays come from the complete circumference of the doughnut. This will result in pictures of cross sections or slices of you body that are transferred to a computer.
This machine uses more radiation that an ordinary X ray machine.

Anyway, I am off for that on Monday 18th.................................

Roxanne is coming on that day too. I will pick her up from the station in the morning, we will go into town for lunch. Then, I will take Mum for her 'bloods' at the clinic. Straight from there, me and Roxanne will go to the hospital for my scan.

A bit of news that we could really do without right now....Derek, my husband, has been 'laid off' at work as they are short of work, so his last day is Friday unless a new order comes in before then.

Ho Hum....such is life............................................

12th July - Guest Post by David Haas

This is very interesting and informative. I would just like to be sure that you are all aware that this is NOT my work.

The author is David Haas, who writes with much authority on this subject.

Some Things to Consider About Nutrition and the Cancer Process

Nutrition plays an important role in healing, providing the body with the energy and nutrients it needs to maintain a healthy balance. If one is diagnosed with cancer, whether it is something common like breast cancer or skin cancer or it is a very rare cancer such as bone cancer or mesothelioma, nutrition is even more important as the body has to not only fight the disease but rebound from the effects of chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery.

Nutrition During Therapy

Cancer treatment can be caustic to the body, often leaching it of nutritional stores and stripping natural defenses, making secondary infections a life-threatening occurrence. The recommendation is to follow the food pyramid, including the essential groups every day. Fruits and vegetables provide for mineral replenishment, some even having been found to help boost the immune system to keep it stronger, and improve the life expectancy for most cancers. Meats provide adequate protein, while grains aid with carbohydrates and energy. Adequate fluid intake is also encouraged so the body does not become deficient in volume and lead to further complications.

Post-Treatment Nutrition

After treatment, the general rule of the pyramid remains the same, but there are some complications from treatment that may require creativity to work around in the short term. While nutritional needs remain the same, there may be greater necessity for a softer diet and liquid meals at first. Some therapies result in difficulty swallowing for a time, so items that are gentle on the esophagus are a safe bet. If the problem lies in taste alterations and poor appetite, variety may well be the key to overcoming this. Smaller, frequent meals may be better for those whose appetite is lacking so bigger meals are not so overwhelming.

Nutrition and Preventing Cancer

Processed foods have received some blame for the increasing incidence of cancer, and not altogether misplaced. Chemicals used in processing have been found to account for some carcinogenesis, and should be limited. Trans fat should be avoided as well as fats in general or used extremely sparingly. Fruits and vegetables found to be a cancer fighting food through antioxidants and immune boosting properties should be included in the diet, as well as an adequate amount of fluids to flush the body of residue.

Nutrition has always played a role in health, and while there is no specific cancer diet, there are options that have been proven to decrease certain cancers. The site, www.cancer.gov, is a valuable resource in proper nutrition and cancer prevention.

By: David Haas

11th July - End on 6th chemo cycle (day 22)

Well, each chemo cycle lasts 21 days, so here we are on day 22. THE END! Yay!
Still waiting for the appointments for my scan and meeting with 'The Professor'.
I will chase them up today.

Not a great deal to report........I am starting to feel better, so no complaints.

Not sure why, or  if it is even connected, but in the past week or so, I have broken quite a lot of crockery.......I have been dropping it, smacking it against work surfaces and walls, knocking it against tables............. not on purpose, you understand.

In fact in that last week, I have  broken more than I have in the past 30-40 years!
(As long as you don't count the time that I smashed a whole dinner service, bone china it was.........).

I had a dinner party, 6 people in all.
This dinner service had serving plates, tourines, gravy boat, the lot.
Well, I was showing off my culinary prowess, (which retrospectively, was more of a faultering weed than a blossoming prize bloom).

Anyway, I got all the good stuff out, (which was a gift that I had received a year or so before, and had never used).
Well.........................dinner was had, the guests had gone, and it is clearing up time.
No problems there.
Started the washing up, can't remember what I was actually washing at that moment, but it was a big and heavy piece, any how, I saw this whacking great spider, that big, a person could have ridden it....you know, the sort that needs to be wrestled to ground, bloody huge, it was!

Well, this creature came galloping towards me at great speed!
I panicked, dropped this piece of crockery on to the rest of the set that was waiting to be washed, the whole lot came crashing to floor, and every single piece smashed in to hundreds of tiny little pieces!
(Could have been worse, I could have done it AFTER I had washed and dried it!)
Took ages to clear it all up, and I was finding little slithers of it for years afterwards!
So.....not including that, I have broken as much in the past week or so than I have in most of my adult life!

Funny how little one off incidents can remind you loads of other stuff that you had completely forgotten about! Lol!

9th July - day 20 of 6th chemo cycle

Well.....not much to say today. No real change.
Roxanne is getting all panicky about her wedding!
She is coming on 18th and we will sort out the final little bits and pieces....(I hope), lol!

You know that I said that I am doing some really daft things............yesterday, I surpassed myself...lol!
To be fair, I think that it is the sort of thing that I do when I get over enthusiastic when completing a task....lol!

Because I haven't been doing as much craft work as usual...(eyesight), some of my glue bottles have become all sticky and hard, which has stopped the glue coming out of the bottles easily.............................
Well........................I de-gunked my 2 bottles of PVA.
I used tweezers and pins, opened the bottles and 'twoze', (another of my invented words...past tense for tweezed) and poked all of the old, dried glue from the nozzles. This works really well.
Anyway, I decided that I would do the same with my bottle of super glue............
You can see where this is going, can't you?

Yep, your right..............
I 'superglued' my thumb, index finger and middle finger together with the tweezers in place, I tried to remove the tweezers with my other hand.............. you get the picture!

Hot soapy water with tugging and poking managed to separate them......eventually.
The residue of the glue remained on the fingers of both hands, so I had to sand paper them get them smooth so I could 'feel' stuff and to stop them catching on my clothes!

I know....stupid, and I do know better....what can I say...the shame!  Lol!

Mum was with me, we couldn't stop laughing about it!

When Derek came home, I told him about it and he just raised his eyebrows in a 'knowing way', like it's the sort of thing that he has grown to expect from me!

I was lucky really, it could have been so much worse.
It took me ages............couldn't answer the phone, answer the door or any other ordinary tasks for a couple of hours!
(I am so please that I didn't need a 'comfort stop' whilst this was all going on......
That could have been REALLY nasty!!!! Lol!)

Ho hum...............maybe I will grow up one of these days!

Naw...................

7th July - 18th day of 6th chemo cycle.

I went to the Doctors yesterday to discuss my return to work.......................
Well, he looked at his computer, read a letter from my Oncologist...(tried to read it myself, but couldn't).
After a discussion...........My Doctor has given me another 2 months off.

I need to chase my scan appointment and the appointment with the Prof.

Still loosing concentration.........an example of silly little things that I am doing on a regular basis...........
Made some breakfast, coffee cereal and toast, well, I poured milk over my toast!!!!
I have thrown important letters away and kept the envelopes......loads of stuff, only little things, but the regularity is a bit concerning.............to be fair...could all be age related too!

How do I feel, well, to be honest, I am not sure.........physically, I am not too bad, but I feel as if I am living in a bit of a fog....lol!
I am happy enough, able to do most things, although, not as many in one day as I was able to do because I get so tired.

Some times the 'fog' feels like above.............................and sometimes it feels like the image below......................Of course, I prefer to feel like the image below...........

Quite a nice place to be....calm and relaxing, as long as there are no complicated 'must do's'....lol!

5th July - 16th day of 6th chemo cycle

Well, not  a great deal to share with you today.

• My feet are swelling up now, (to be expected).
• Still have neuropathy in my feet, the left foot being worse than the right.
• The phlebitis comes and goes on the left arm....not a real issue with that though.
• Heartburn is still a bit troublesome.
• Hip joints painful and stiff, doesn't stop me doing stuff though.
• Still carrying extra weight that I want to shift asap.
• Tinnitus,  can be very annoying sometimes.
• Still have tooth ache, should be able to visit the dentist in a couple of weeks.
• Eye sight..............need to speak to the Doc and optician to see when I am able to have my eyes sorted.
• The biggest issues are low energy levels and feeling sooooooooo tired most of the time,  lack of ability to concentrate and short term memory.

I enjoyed my trip to town yesterday. Just a gentle pootle around the shops, I managed to 'sniff out' a couple of sales and bought a dress that was reduced from

£59.00 to £35.00....

Whoooooohoooooooo!

3rd July - 14th day of 6th chemo cycle

Yesterday, I had a good day......spent all day in the garden with family and friends. It was lovely. The sun shone, the flowers looked good.....Aaaah, what can I say.......

Still waiting for appointments...........but ho hum...........

Still having some side effects, the one that is most irritating is the constant tiredness, and wanting to have little naps through out the day..............but never, nothing that I can do about that.

Off to town today, see you tomorrow!

2nd July - 13th day of 6th chemo cycle

Well, today, I feel confused, unsure, what now?
I feel like a helium balloon that has been let go to drift.............................

The treatment is over, in less than 2 weeks, the end of the final cycle................
So, what now?

As I said, the treatment is over, there is no more treatment that I can have even if it was necessary, (not that I would have it anyway),...........................................

I am being asked how I am, what next, Do I still have cancer, Am I in remission, has it gone..... by friends, family and work colleagues.

What can I say? I don't know.
When will I know?....I don't know.
Will I know?...I don't know.
When is my scan?....I don't know.
When do you see the Professor?...I don't know.

So, I am just floating around in the skies, waiting for someone to catch me and give me some answers and direction.................

1st July - 12th day of 6th chemo cycle

I was unable to post yesterday as I couldn't connect to the 'blogger dash board'.So far, so good for today.......................................

OK..........
My husband, Derek, was unwell, and went to the Doctors.
It transpires that he is probably depressed. This is apparently because he is concerned about my health.

After he spoke with the doctor, where he apparently 'broke down', he came home and discussed this with me.

He feels unable to talk about his aches, pains and general feelings because he feels that they are insignificant compared to what I am going through.

He feels that I am strong, and tend to say things like,
'Get a grip and get on with it'.
'Stop fretting about what you can't change and channel energy in to stuff that you can'...................................
You get the picture.

This makes him feel a bit inadequate, and feels that he can't talk to me about how he feels.............................................
This brings us back to the elephant in the room..............................

Well, all that I can say is that it is really important to communicate to your friends and family how you feel, allow them to tell you how they feel, appreciate and accept that they will say things that you don't want to hear, and let them know that you will say things that they don't want to hear.

Listen and be listened to, speak and be understood.

This could change the whole way in which you are supported and support others.

Clearly, it is something that I didn't do that I should have.