Thursday 15th March 2012

I was quite busy yesterday, just doing bits and bobs.
It was my first time at the Drama Group too.

I really did enjoy it...there were many people, more that I expected, and the meeting was mainly a de-brief about the final show that ended last Saturday.
Based on the description, it was 'gruelling' for the cast and stage people.

I was really tired, and was wondering if I would actually be able to go. I said that I would, and I was expected, and I don't like to let people down.
As I said, I did enjoy it, but next week, I am going to have to make sure that I do nothing else at all on a Wednesday, and try and have a couple of hours sleep in the after noon.. Oh I really hope that it works!

I usually start to get quite tired by 2.00pm, and by 7.00pm I am completely exhausted!

Of course the other issue....The next play will be in September! (Will I be here in September, unlikely!)
Anyway, the best way forward is to not have a 'part' but do other little bits instead. Oh well, such is life......................

Today, I am going to Compton Hospice for the day...I really do enjoy that!
Tomorrow, I am going to be busy doing nothing!!!!!!!!

I have to make sure that I put my alarm on each morning, other wise I would be sleeping the rest of my life away...........Can't have that....I might miss something!!!!!

You never know...........ANYTHING can happen, I don't want to sleep through it!!!!!!

Tuesday 13th March 2012

A bit grey and dull out there, but still beautiful...........

Today, I feel a bit 'Blah.....'
And very, very tired.

Well, I didn't file my nails down to the level of the broken one, couldn't be bothered.
Instead, I had a private memorial service for it, and got on with painting my nails.

I decided to use the grey, which turned out to be a nasty cacky colour......no, not khaki, yucky cacky. But, on my nails it will stay.

Monday 12th March 2012

Good Evening every one!

Today, I broke a nail, so I took my nail varnish off to file them all down..............
I know that it sounds stupid, but when the varnish was gone, it showed my nails to be very blue.
So what!? I hear you all cry.................
Well, for most part I try to forget that I am dying, but seeing my 'naked' nails looking so blue, just reminded me.
(Along with the fact that I am starting to cough a little now too).

There are many causes for this, but, in this case it is fair to assume that it is lack of oxygen due lung disease.

Anyway, I am going to repaint them.......grey or baby blue, not sure yet.

Ok, enough of that!!!!!!

I have made contact with the 'Codsall Dramatic Society'.
They had their last performance last Saturday.
This means that they will be tidying up the props and deciding what the next project is going to be.
I will be going on Wednesday evening to meet every one in the group and see what's what.

In between the last sentence and now, a young man and his friend came to the door.
He is having his legs waxed to raise money for children with leukaemia and diabetes.
Well, of course I sponsored him, but I asked to see how hairy his legs were first, so that I could put a price on it!
Wow! They are hairy!!!!
That is going to bloody hurt, so I sponsored £5.00 per leg.
It is going to take place at new centre for young people on Thursday evening, so if I feel up to it, I will go along and cheer him on!!!!!

For any readers who feel that they might like to go, and maybe sponsor on the night,
6.00pm Thursday.
Starbuzz Cafe,
Wolverhampton.
WV2 1AZ

Hmmmmmmmm...............
That's set me thinking.........
I wonder what I can do to raise money for Compton Hospice.
(Having my head waxed should be pretty painless!) LOL!

Seriously though....there must be something that I can do.

Sunday 11th March 2012

Good Morning!
The sun is shining, the squirrels are running around, the birds are singing.............
What else is there? What a great day!

I don't know if you remember....but a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned the the left side of my face felt strange.....
Well. any, it stopped.
Then, yesterday it started again, then shortly afterwards, I had an attack of the hiccough, and with each hiccough I had a sharp pain in my left ear. I hurt when I yawned too.
It only lasts for as long as the yawn or hiccough, but it seems to ease it if I put my hand over my ear............
Any how, now when I hiccough, my right hand shoots over my chest, and my left hand goes over my ear.............(each hiccough session is about 7 in quick succession!
So, I look like I have invented a new salute for Star Trek, or more likely.....Mork and Mindy! Lol!

Saturday 10th March

Well, not a lot to share today.
I chilled out all day yesterday.
I had a busy day on Wednesday, and another on Thursday, so I earned it!
I am still feeling a bit tired today, so I will see how I go.

For those of you who have been following the progress of my friend Carole, her son James has updated her blog.
caroleandcancer.blogspot.com

It has been interesting watching the magpies making their nest. I never realised just how big the twigs are that they use............seeing them trying to manipulate them at the nest sight is so funny...........

Ahhhh, well, you know what they say,
'Little things please little minds'....................Lol!

Thursday 8th March 2012

I had a great day out with Sandra yesterday........well, I say day out, it was bout 3 hours.

I met Sandra at the Station. We pootled for 20 minutes, sat and had a drink for 20 minutes, and so on.
We had a good chat, didn't go to many shops though.
Yes, it was good.

See!? It is good to talk, look at the queue at the phone box!!!!!!!

I arrived home at about 3.15pm...got straight into my jimsjams and flopped!
Later on in the after noon, I took a walk down the garden, and something wonderful happened!
I saw a white feather floating down from the sky, and I managed to catch it! That isn't something that happens every day is it!?

Today, I went to Compton Hospice Day Centre.

I did another painting, using the 'feather incident' as inspiration.
I am quite pleased with it, doubt that it will make me famous though! Lol!

Below is 'Starry Night', by Vincent Van Gogh. (I am not quite up to his standard yet, but give me time!!!!!!! Lol!

I spoke with the nurses about a couple of things....just wanting to know if they should be expected or if I needed to have them checked out at the Doctors.

1. Finger nails going blue. This is to be expected.........(Lungs).

2. Feeling the 'tumours 'in my liver just by having a poke around........(Small cell cancer grows rapidly), so it is another thing that is normal under my circumstances.

3. Vaginal discharge. This has a number of possibilities depending on if it smells. If it smells it is probably an infection. Well.....it doesn't smell, so it is either:-
a). Original cancer growing back, or a new one in the original site.
b) The results of any damage to other tissue in and around the area sustained during radiotherapy.

Anyway, nothing to worry about, nothing to be done either way, just stuff to expect as time goes by....in fact, it is all evidence that nature is taking it's course.

macmillan.org.uk

AND..................
I have a number to ring regarding joining a drama group, I shall ring later today, and next week I should have the contact details of some one who can teach me to play the drums.

(I know that I said I was going to look into that yesterday, but I was hanging when I got home!)

No, Not him!

Guest Blogger - Asbestos related cancer

Hi all, 2 posts in one day......what ever next! Lol!

The following is an article written to promote awareness of Mesothelioma.
I would like to stress that I have not written it, but believe that it is important that every one is aware.
Please feel free to comment, and I will ensure that the comments get to where they would be of most benefit to you and to Mike Postorino, who contacted me. The website details will be posted below.


Mesothelioma Is a Rare Cancer, Too
Mesothelioma is not as rare as the cancer that Carol is fighting, but it often misunderstood.
An estimated 2,500 people a year in the United States are diagnosed with mesothelioma, one of the only cancers that can be attributed solely to man-made exposure.
The disease usually develops in one of three places: the thin layer of cells that surround the chest, the abdomen or the heart. Regardless of location, though, it is caused by the same thing: inhaling microscopic asbestos fibers.
These fibers lodge in the mesothelium membrane and, over time, slowly begin causing havoc.
Mesothelioma and other related diseases like asbestos-induced lung cancer and asbestosis typically strike men more often than women. That's because asbestos-related diseases are considered occupational illnesses; asbestos exposure is more common in blue-collard work environments that are historically linked to male workers.
Women, however, can get mesothelioma the same way, and they can get it through secondary exposure. (There are documented cases of wives getting the disease because they spent years handling and washing asbestos-laden work clothes of their husbands.)
Several famous people have succumbed to forms of mesothelioma, including actor Steve McQueen, musician Warren Zevon and Hall of Fame football player Merlin Olsen in 2011.
Although the long-term prognosis for people with mesothelioma is usually poor, there are exceptions. In fact, there are survivors who have lived five, 10 and even 15 years after diagnosis. Their stories are ones of hope.
Ruth Phillips has been living with mesothelioma in Georgia for 12 years, relying on alternative treatments. Alexis Kidd is a five-year mesothelioma survivor and still riding her scooter to work each day.
Mesothelioma also is part of Rare Disease Day – which began in Europe – and is celebrated on the last day of February each year, bringing recognition of rare diseases as a global health challenge.
It is a grassroots advocacy day that has grown in popularity. The idea is to promote rare medical conditions in hopes of sparking research, better therapies and more understanding.
The awareness has prompted more public outcry against the use of asbestos, which was once so prevalent in industrialized countries. Today it is banned in more than 50 countries, including much of Europe, and its use has been reduced dramatically.
It is not banned in the United States.
Mesothelioma advancements have come slowly but surely, and the treatments have progressed in the last decade. Much of the advancement has come because of heightened awareness to the disease.
Bio: Tim Povtak is a senior writer for the Mesothelioma Center. Prior to that, he was an award-winning newspaper reporter.

For further details, contact
asbestos.com
or
mpostorino@asbestos.com

Wednesday, 7th March 2012

Well, let's hope that I have all my dates right today.
I am going to the train station to meet my friend, Sandra.

It's been about 3 weeks since I saw here last, so I am looking forward to that!
I vegged out yesterday to make sure that I had enough energy to have a potter around town.

I feel pretty well really, although, I have had to alter my meds a bit because the stomach cramps have come on again, with vengeance! Lol!

It is very wet and drizzley out today, but that wont stop me from having some fun..

I am going to pop into the music shop and find out more about 'drum lessons'.

I may be having another 'Guest Blogger' soon. I believe that he has an important message about Mesotheliona which I believe to be related to Asbestos. It should be very interesting, particularly for those of us who have had contact with it, so I am looking forward to that.

I do know that I have had quite a bit of contact with it.
About 1971-2, Dad built an asbestos garage from the huge flat sheets. I helped him. I bashed all the hard core for the foundations and mixing the cement and helped the putting it up. I held the dumb end of the tape. He had a built a little work shop on the end of the garage too.

(I really enjoyed all of that stuff, and wood work........helped Dad with loads making/building things!)

caroleandcancer.blogspot.com..........6th March 2012

As many of you may recall, I would direct you to another blog....caroleandcancer.
Over the last year or so, we have spoken on the phone, sent personal messages, commented on each other's blogs.
We have never actually met, never the less, I feel as if I have know her for a long time.
and feel that we are friends. We have supported each other over the past year or so, Carole doing most of the supporting!

It saddens me to tell you that she was rushed to hospital on Thursday morning, and she is now in the Hospice.
Carole is losing her battle.

My heart goes out to her friends and family.
Sending positive vibes, and wishing for a miracle.

Monday 5th March 2012

Hey! Sorry to have kept you!
Been busy or tired since the last up-date..
Anyway, I'm here now!

So what has been happening? Not a lot!

Starting to get a tickley cough and a bit of pain to my chest and back, to the left, still a bit of pain to my right upper abdomen, some stomach cramps, nothing really to complain about though..............
anyway.....................

Friday 2nd.
I took Mum to the hospital for one of her appointments.
She had to have some electrodes put on to monitor her heart. She was told to keep them on until Sunday at 2.00pm, then remove them, put the recording device in to an envelope, and return them on Monday, (today).
Difficulty parking meant that I had to hire a wheelchair and push her to the Heart and lung bit.
(Phew.....wont be doing that again in a hurry!)

Got home, had a shower, and in my jimjams. I noticed that I was loosing eye lashes...I first noticed a couple of weeks ago, well, I have very few left now.
I remembered that I had bought some false ones about a year ago, and never needed to use them, so I decided to wear them on Saturday to go to town,

Saturday 3rd.
I needed some bits and pieces form town, so that's where I went.
I was all excited about trying the 'eye lashes!'
Could I find them? Nooooooooo!
Where are they? Did I beat them with my shoe believing that they were spider? Did I give them away? I have no idea! So, get some more today!
I went to town, got my bits and pieces, (and eyelashes).
Back home.....knackered! Jimjams and snuggle with Dougal.

Sunday 4th
Couch potato all day....Bliss!

Today
Took Mum back to the hospital, made sure that she took her zimmer.....bu**er pushing her in the chair all around the Wrekin!!!!!
I thought that I would try out the new lashes.............
Would you believe it, i found the other ones.
I decided to put the original ones on, because they were self adhesive......that was a bloody mistake....they stuck every where except where I wanted them! I would have had a better effect if I had stuck them under my nose and make do with it......night mare!

All is well with Mum, which is the most important thing...so Yay!

Any way, no need to tell you that I gave it up as a bad job....had to throw them away because I made such a mess! LOL!

I have been thinking about other stuff that I want to put on my bucket list, so, I am going to see if I can join a drama group, (naturally, not doing anything important, you know, just in case, but I think that I will have a go any way.
And, the other thing is, I think that I will get lessons in playing the drums, I have always fancied that!

MY HERO!!!!!!!!!!

Watch this space!!!!!! Lol!

1st March 2012

OK......
My memory is not as bad as I expected, no mix up with the date that Claire was coming!
Claire came on Wednesday evening....I really enjoyed it, we had a great giggle, about not much! Lol!

Claire brought a box of chocolates and a bouquet of glorious flowers from my place of work. Beautiful!

I went to Compton Hospice Cay Centre today, I really enjoyed myself. I had a bit of a telling off, well, not a telling off......more of an,
'Er hum, excuse me lady!' Lol!

I had spent a couple of hours listening to another person who clearly needed to talk, so I was reminded as to why I was there!

Well, I don't feel the need to talk much because I have you lot! I just 'bang out' how I feel, you read, I feel better! So a big thank you to you all!

Speaking of you all........
When I came back from the Day Centre, there was a huge package for me! It was a fantastic hamper with chocolates, scones, assorted preserves, clotted cream and a hand made chocolate lollipop.

Thanks Wendy and Jeff! (I have sent a PM).

And..........a little reminder to self!

29th February 2012

Oh! What a beautiful day it has been today!

Sunny, and quite warm for the last day in February.
The glorious sunshine is showing the garden as tired and weary after the winter.
A good old tidy up is needed. I think that I will start on that on Monday, just doing a little bit here, and a little bit there.............

A couple of days ago, when I woke, I saw a Heron in the fish pond.
Naturally, I chased it off.
The beauty of the bird in flight is astounding!
Anyway, since then I have been popping up the garden and having a look to see if I can see any fish.

Well, I have seen none to date, so I believe that the Heron had a superb breakfast, (little sweetie!)

On the 'up' side, should make the pond so much easier to clean out.
Having said that, I can't imagine what it must have felt like for the fish, being scooped up and whacked down the throat of a Heron...................
Urgh....doesn't bare thinking about.....so, I shan't!

I am at the Hospice Day Centre tomorrow, I haven't been for a bit, so I am looking forward to that.

I was supposed to meet a friend, (Sandra), in town today, (or I thought that I was), but like the 'bomb head' that I am, I got all the dates mixed up, and it is next Wednesday, not today.
Just as well, as I don't really feel up to it.
Claire. is coming to see me this evening, so that is good...(That is assuming that I haven't got even more dates muddled!)

28th February 2012

Ok, Reality Check.

Below is what I was told on 12th December.

If I don't have chemo, there will be a rapid decline in my health, and I will be dead in less than 4 months.
If I do have chemo, and it is working, I will have it for the rest of my life which could be as long as 1 year.

After 3 chemo cycles, I will have a scan.
If the tumours are getting smaller, we will continue.
If they remain the same size, we will have another discussion with the oncologist.
If there is no change, then the chemo will stop, my health will decline, and I will die.

Well, they did remain the same, another discussion was had with my Oncologist..

It was decided that we would dis continue chemo as it was making no difference.
As I mentioned, I have another appointment on 18th April, but my Oncologist feels that I will need to see him him again before then.

Based on information given to me before my palliative chemo, what I was told at my last oncologist visiit, the symptoms that I have so far, and some research on the internet specifically about small cell cancer in the lung, and a report from the Consultant that I saw regarding one of my pensions...........

Prognosis
2 - 6 months max.

So.........I need to crack on and do the other things on my bucket list, preferably, before the end on April!

SO...ONWARD AND UPWARD.....RE-CHARGE BATTERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET READY FOR THE FIGHT AHEAD!!!

26th Feb 2012

Well, today I thought that I would share some of my physical symptoms with you all.
I hope that this will help anyone in a similar situation.

Tinnitus (result of chemo)
.
Headaches (Benign tumour on brain? Stress?)

'Sensations' to left of face, neck, shoulder and arm. (No idea)
.
Occasional cough, (lung)

Dull ache to left back below shoulder blade, continuing to the front, with occasional sharp pain to the left chest. (Cancer in left lung).

Dull ache to right upper abdomen, with sharp pain in moving in a certain way.
I instinctively put my hand on the pain, and I can physically feel one of the tumours in my liver! How fascinating is that? (Tumour(s) in liver.

Continuous dull ache to lower back, left hip and left thigh, with persistent pain on over activity. (Bone cancer, lymphnode cancer in groin, osteoporosis).

Hiccoughs (Liver).

Nausea.
Severe indigestion..

Finger nails turning blue.
Tiredness.

Memory....What memory?????


Most of the above are being controlled effectively by medication.

To be perfectly honest, I think that I am very lucky, at this stage, considering the cancers and prognosis, things could be a great deal worse.