Friday 30th August

Thank you Roxanne, for writing this blog whilst I was unwell......great blog.

Well, Roxanne, Derek and me went into town on Tuesday in the wheelchair, well, we went in the car, and I used the chair once in town, pushed by Roxanne.

It went really well..................
Ok, not all went well exactly.
We were crossing the road at the pedestrian lights, lights in our favour, so far, so good.
There were ramps at both sides, down we went, all is well............
I noticed that the opposite side had a ramp, but not level with the road......
Anyway, this 'curb' was approaching faster and faster, I braised myself............
Boinnnnnngggggggggg!
Good job I had a firm hold and was expecting it!!!!!!!
Roxanne thought that the higher the curb, the more speed was required to overcome it!
I think that we are all now aware that curbs need to be overcome backwards or the front wheels raised enough to accommodate it.

Phew!

I was really tired when I got home and pleased to rest.

The talk to the Trustees on Wednesday went well. and, this morning, one of the members came to thank me personally, so that was great.

I went to Compton Hospice as usual, and there were loads of new people, it is amazing how things change almost on a weekly basis...............
I had a lovely card form the staff for doing this presentation yesterday.
Had a lovely card form my friend Jacky the other day too.

Claire and Tilda came to see me this evening, that was good.

I feel better today and yesterday than I have done for a while..............
AND
I haven't been sick since Monday!!!!!!!!!!
YAY!

Harvey, my drum instructor is coming for a visit tomorrow, so that is something to look forward to.

Seem to be spending a great deal of time reminiscing these days, all good stuff......lol!

Creedence Clearwater Revival music playing through my brain.......again......all good stuff!!

Well, Mum is feeling a bit under the weather, so I thought that I had better write something on her behalf.
I came to see her yesterday morning, and not to take any chances this time, I just got a cab from the station........

Yesterday, we spent the day finishing off getting the stuff that is important to her for the funeral.........bio degradable helium balloons, capes and other bits and pieces.
We completed the list of who has what to add to the will.

Dot a Pete kindly brought a wheelchair for Mum to use, and we are going to try it out today in town.

Last night mum found it really hard to get to sleep.
She took all her pain and sleeping meds, that normally knocks her out within the hour. Last night they did not seem to work.
The pain that she gets in her back and side just wouldn't let up to let her sleeping pills kick in.

After making sure she had everything she needed I left her in the dark to relax, I told her that if she can't sleep, to come get me because I would be up for a while, reading.
Mum didn't come, so I guess she got some sleep.
I found out this morning it was only about 4 hours though.

Mum has been resting physically, at least for the past 3 days, so hopefully she will have enough energy for our trip to town, and to make the presentation to The Trustees of Compton Hospice tomorrow.

And maybe, she will write her own blog tomorrow or Friday.

Here I am again.........

I was at the Hospice yesterday, and I started a wonderful rug making project of a winged unicorn.....really can't wait until it is finished. I left a bit earlier than usual as I felt a bit unwell, and I was very sick before I went.
However, I did learn that I have 'thrush' in the mouth.
This is apparently quite common, so I have been given more meds to combat that.

I'd love to say that it was because I had been up to no good, but alas, that is not the case.
It is just one of those things, as I said, common in my situation, but it can be caused by some medications too.

Claire, Faye and Leigh came to visit last evening. We were going to go the the Wing Wah, but, I wasn't really up to it, so we stayed here and chatted.......
We got up to loads of mischief, none of it my idea, you understand, I was just an innocent bystander.
Our behaviour was that of a group of adolescent school girls with the giggles.
We should be ashamed of ourselves, but we aren't! Lol!

This morning, I was very sick again, and I was supposed to go to the Wing Wah with my friend Jacky, but again, didn't feel up to it.
Jacky phoned first to check, so we decided to stay here, and she would bring George, her dog.
George was very well behaved today, apart from when he was leaving...........
He and Dougal decided to give us a rendition of some obscure yodelling tune.
It was really funny.....if I could have found some music quickly enough, I would have played along.....thinking about it, I should have got the drums out.........

Sorry that I am not writing daily at the moment....I am so lack lustre and tired all of the time. I slept for 17 hours from 8.30 pm yesterday to 1.30 this pm, and I am feeling very sick today too.

Sunday, I had a really quiet and restful day.

Monday, Harvey came to give me my drum lesson, well, I had only just got out of bed, and I was feeling very 'under the weather'.

Anyway, I discussed how I felt and that I was feeling worse with each passing day. We both agreed that it would be in MY best interest if I didn't force myself to do stuff that I was not really able to do.

So my dream of animal is put to one side, I am happy that I made this decision though.

Harvey will still visit just to chat, which is great.
I do feel that I am letting so many people down, for which, I am deeply apologetic, but I really haven't got the stamina nor the health that is required to continue.
I am sorry.

Tuesday, I managed about 2 hours on the market with Mandy. We were looking for the fabric for the robe that I will be wearing at my burial. Mandy has very kindly agreed to make it for me. Mandy is also leading the 'service' with Paul, her friend, well, and mine, I do know him. I became very tired and was very slow making my way back to the car. I got a ticket! Sh*t.

Claire came in the afternoon, and went mad when she saw the ticket.......bless her, she is handling it for me, not the payment, I can do that, but trying to get it quashed as I was displaying a valid parking ticker and my disabled badge........
Thanks Claire.

Claire didn't bring Tilda, so I missed her, and Dougal was acting very strange, so we feel that he missed her too.
Sorry Tilda, not my fault, your mummy chose not to bring you......nothing to do with me, despite what she says. I bet you missed us too!

Today, it is Keith's Birthday.
Happy Birthday Keith!

I am having another quiet and relaxing day, Keith and Sarah have gone to North Wales for a short break, so I hope that they are having a great time.

Yesterday, after I came home, I was very restless, and couldn't find a position that I was comfortable in.....(much like today)...........
Any way, Derek had taken Dougal out for a walk, and I was trying all sorts of positions to get comfortable.
'Ahhhhhh,' I thought, 'what about the recliner?'.

So I sat on it....using different levels up, down, half way up etc.
Then I put my legs over one arm and my head over the other, that wasn't bad, so I turned upside down, head on the foot bit, legs and feet over the back, slightly tilted to my left, that seemed to work.................

Then, the pain came slowly,
'Quick!', I thought, 'Move!.
Could I?
No.

I could just about reach my phone and I had to ring Derek, luckily he was close by and it took both of us some manipulation to get me upright again.
I wont be trying that again in a hurry!

Next question.....
Why did I fall yesterday?
Well, I think that I know, because I have fallen another 3 times going up the stairs.........
You know that I said that there was a large step, well, I have been falling up stairs, so, I think that the lump in my left groin is growing at such a speed now that I cant bend at my hip enough to raise my left foot high enough to climb a step.
That's my theory any way.

And the obligatory cute animal.....

Hi All,
Just back from the lakes....I went on Thursday after Compton Hospice and came back today......sorry to those who I didn't tell, and have been trying to contact me by phone, and haven't been able to because there is little of no signal at Keith's house.
Sorry, sorry, and thrice sorry!

Any way, I had a great time.....Keith picked me up and brought me back. We went to a village called Cartmel where they were having carnival, it was fantastic.....
People dressed up, modern brass bands, local story tellers, shops and stalls....it really was great!

When I was at the Hospice on Thursday, I asked for an honest update, and asked where I was with regard to my symptoms so far. Well, it seems that a decline in my health has been observed by staff, family and friends, and I am not as well as I thought, and am probably at the begging of further and more rapid decline, but, hey ho, we knew that it would happen eventually. I am still lucky though.....I can still 'do' for myself and I feel relatively well when resting.

And not quite as rested as that!

Oh, I forgot to say.........Me and Keith stopped at a garage to fill up on the way home, and I felt a bit sick, so I got out of the car to go to the loo, and I must have tripped or something, I am not really sure what happened, anyway, I fell.
Do you remember when you were a child and you got scabs on your knees that would turn yellow and crusty, (then you picked them when they were dry), no? Oh bloody hell, please don't tell me that it was only me, I will start to get worried!
Never-the-less, I have one of those now on my knee, I wonder if this is what is meant when you experience your second childhood! Lol!

My own knee is not this hairy!

Keith and I took Hoshi, (his 2 year old black cat), to the vets for a booster. The vets was full. There was a beautiful golden retriever who was clearly nervous, because the poor girl poo'd on the floor. The owners cleaned it up though.
The vet worked her way through the animals until we were the only ones there.
I suggested that we move to the other side, where the other dog was so that we could see the vet come out.
Anyway, we sat there, and could smell the pooh, so we moved again, and could still smell the pooh, so we were really pleased when we were called in.
'Phew', we thought.
The vet let Hoshi out of his cage, and bless, the bloody horrid smell of pooh was Hoshi! No wonder we couldn't shake the smell off! Lol!
He did behave very well when he had his jab....then he wee'd in the car on the way back! Bless him! Lol!

I will be taking it easy for the rest of the week end.

Thank you Keith and Sarah for your hospitality and for making me very comfortable.

Well, here we are again, sorry I have taken so long, I had a really busy week end.
Saturday and Sunday, I had friends around all day, and we had another BBQ on Sunday.
Monday, I had my drum lesson, I think that I have mastered one piece of the song now....

I was just about to say that I have had no sickness since Saturday morning, but I feel a bit yukky now, so I am off, and I will finish this when I had met with my bucket...........

That was all yesterday.
I went to meet with the Big Purple bucket, and thankfully, didn't need it.
Then Claire came to pick me up as we went to Leicester to see Mum and Roxanne.

Anyway, Claire said that she was going to clean the car, as Tilda has her own seat in the front, so, I thought,
'Goody, I can wear white!'
Ha!

(Having said that, mine is a bit desperate for some TLC now too).

I wore white and ended up with the whole outfit being 'Tilda'd!
What did Claire say?
Well, I'll tell you.
She said,
'Never mind, we can pretend it is a symptom....lol!

This is what my bum looked like when we got there!

I just want to add, that Claire and I are very firm friends, this is how we speak to one another all the time, and I dare say that I have said loads of things much worse to her.
We just have warped senses of humour.
I certainly wouldn't want to change her in anyway.

Not exactly the pic I was looking for, but isn't it great?

This more like it though. Great friends who trust each other.

Mum and Roxanne were well.
We had a spot of lunch with Mum, and then took a walk along the beautiful canal to the local pub and sat in the 'Beer Garden' with a fruit juice each, chatting and enjoying the sunshine.

I got back home at about 7pm, and I was knackered.

Today, my friend Sandra should be visiting, she isn't here yet, so I am going to have to give her a ring to make sure that all is well.
Must do that now.

11th August 2012

I was picked up at 13.15 to go to Shrewsbury flower show.
Unfortunately, I was violently sick at 13.05, so I was in two minds about going.

I did go, and it was great.
The weather was fantastic, and there was such a lot to see.

I was at a stall that sold walking sticks, hand made ones and very ornate. I thought that I would have a look, and maybe buy another one.

Anyway, there I am, having a look, and my friends are some where behind me.
Now imagine the rest in slow motion.............

I heard a loud rattle of walking sticks, so I turned my head towards the sound, and then another loud crash, quickly followed by a rattle, my head was fully turned in time to see one of my friends fall onto their back, and their legs go straight up in the air.

The stall holder and the rest of us helped him up, he was offered a stool by the stall holder. We all thought that he had fainted in the heat, but he hadn't thank goodness, and thankfully, he hadn't hurt himself either.

Anyway, he made his apologies as he he stood up, and then headed to the middle of the stall????????
The stall holder was agog, and we were all wondering if he had concussion or something!
No! He was headed to retrieve his hat that had fallen when he had.
The stall holder rushed to get it for him, and seemed quite eager to see us move on to another stall!

We moved on and had a sit down with a fresh fruit salad.

We were going to stop to the end, but, as I suspected, I only managed to stay until about 17.30. Thankfully, no one minded.
It seems that I can do less and less for shorter and shorter periods, so bloody annoying!

10th August 2012

I am sure that it was the 20th of August this time last year.....
August feels as if it is taking it's time.
It should be later than this!

The weather has been quite good, so no real complaints form me.

I was at Compton Hospice yesterday, and spoke of my sickness.
(I was very sick just before I went).
Seems that there are a number of potential reasons:-

1. Medication, well we know this and sorted it.
2. My mind....expecting to be sick so just complies. Possible, but I feel that I have greater control over my mind than it has over me.....but hey ho, I been wrong before.
3. The whole of my digestive system has been compromised by the disease.
This I feel is the most likely as I have increased pain.

After speaking with the nurses about the colour and texture of my bodily excretions, all of them, reason number 3 holds out the best.
I have been to the Doctors to ask if I can have my meds in a blister pack and the Doctor agrees, so all should be well.
All of my anti-sickness meds have been doubles, so that too, is encouraging. I may even be able to take more morphine as I experience more pain, so
whoooooopydeeeeeee

to all of that.

Oh, and I took my 'Living Will' to Compton and to the Doctor's yesterday too.

Today, I am off to the Shrewsbury Flower Show with friends, I am really looking forward to that.

(The only thing that worries me about this, is that I may become tired late afternoon/early evening, and my friends will have to leave too....I could be a real party pooper!)

Another Pagan Fest is on this week-end, and sadly, I will miss this one too, because I am trying to raise some more money for Compton, never mind.

I was rally pampered at Compton yesterday.
Hair cut, pedicure, manicure, Indian Head Massage, and a great meal, although I felt unable to eat much of it..............

I have officially been asked to do do a presentation to the 'Trustee's of Compton Hospice, which I am really looking forward too. This should take place on 28th August, so I have a while to prepare myself.

So far today, feeling as if I may be sick, but no actual sickness yet, keep your fingers crossed for me........................

8th August 2012

Yesterday, I felt reasonably well, well enough to tell friends and family who phoned, that I felt so much better than yesterday.............
I had a really restful day.
Well, that was until 20.45.
21.00 hrs,
Well hello purple bucket!
I was a sick as sick can be.....yuk, I felt awful.

No reason that I can see.....................

I am just wondering if I am cocking up my meds, there are so many to take, so I have asked the chemist if he will put them in a blister pack for me. He is happy to do so, but I have to ask my Doctor first, so that is next on the agenda.....
If that doesn't help, I have no idea...........

Just need to see how I am going on the rest of the day today.

Today, Carmel, from work, is coming to see me, and you guessed, I thought that lunch at the Wing Wah would be good! Lol!
(Hope my tummy stands for it....I feel reasonably well now..........)

At 14.00 hrs, Harvey, my drum instructor will be here to teach me more.
The track that I am expected to play on 15th September is:-
The Proclaimers and 500 Hundred Miles.

So this morning, I have listened to it over and over and over again....whizzing around my brain now.
I still haven't sussed when the drum beat changes from one beat to the next....I have worked out when to come in though.....(I think).
I must get this right as I will be playing this track live for a group called,
'Kick up the 80's'.
I would hate to let them down as they have agreed to this, and I would hate to let Harvey, my instructor down.

Because I am unable to sleep in bed at the moment, and I need to sleep in a reclining chair, it is limiting my activities......staying over at friends and family is difficult if not impossible.

All packed and nowhere to go! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Claire is keeping her eye open for a 'foam shop', where they will cut a piece into a wedge for me......you know......sort of, 'have wedge, will travel', lol.

I ordered one of things that look like the top half of a deckchair to see how that goes, it arrived today, so I will try it out tonight.