Well, today, I feel confused, unsure, what now?
I feel like a helium balloon that has been let go to drift.............................
The treatment is over, in less than 2 weeks, the end of the final cycle................
So, what now?
As I said, the treatment is over, there is no more treatment that I can have even if it was necessary, (not that I would have it anyway),...........................................
I am being asked how I am, what next, Do I still have cancer, Am I in remission, has it gone..... by friends, family and work colleagues.
What can I say? I don't know.
When will I know?....I don't know.
Will I know?...I don't know.
When is my scan?....I don't know.
When do you see the Professor?...I don't know.
So, I am just floating around in the skies, waiting for someone to catch me and give me some answers and direction.................
I feel like a helium balloon that has been let go to drift.............................
The treatment is over, in less than 2 weeks, the end of the final cycle................
So, what now?
As I said, the treatment is over, there is no more treatment that I can have even if it was necessary, (not that I would have it anyway),...........................................
I am being asked how I am, what next, Do I still have cancer, Am I in remission, has it gone..... by friends, family and work colleagues.
What can I say? I don't know.
When will I know?....I don't know.
Will I know?...I don't know.
When is my scan?....I don't know.
When do you see the Professor?...I don't know.
4 comments:
Hi Carol
what now? well, now you look forward to feeling better, to being better, to living the rest of your life knowing what the really important things are in life. We only ever have the moment we live in and our memories, so we need to make the memory bank full to overflowing.
Hi Carol,
I felt exactly the same as you. It's particularly hard when people ask 'but you're okay now? It's gone?'...I couldn't make up my mind whether to be saying 'I have cancer' or 'I had cancer'
When the treatment ends you feel stuck in limbo for a while. This will continue until you have those first scans/bloods done etc.
In the meantime, take each emotion as it comes...and know you are not alone no matter what you're feeling.
Hugs xxxx
Hi Doreen,
Thanks for that, I know that you are right, but it is easier said than done.........my moods are a little changeable.....good days and bad days.....
Hi Carole,
It is great to know that it isn't just me...and that I am not going potty with these up and down mood swings.
I am sure that you are right and when I have my first appointment come through, I will feel a little more in control.
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