17th May - Day 7 of 4th Chemo cycle

Good, Morning, long time no speak.....
I would like to apologise for having left it so long before 'posting'.
I changed my internet provider, and despite promises that there would be no time without internet access, I was without for just over 1 week.
Services were resumed yesterday, late evening.

Under the circumstances, I would like to cover all of the missing days in one go, up to and including today, and then carry on as usual tomorrow.

O.K.

12^th May – 3 day 4^th chemo cycle.

I felt very tired all day today, and as if all my positive energies had been drained by ‘energy vampires!’

I have been getting heart burn most of the day, tinnitus appears to be getting worse.

My sense of smell has gone all weird on me again….metal, metal, metal!!!!

I slept from 10.00pm through to 05.00.That is great.

I managed to get some chores done, but rested most of the day.

13^th May – 4^th day of 4^th chemo cycle.

Slept from 10.00pm to 05.00am….no complaints there.

Still heart burn, tiredness and tinnitus.

I think that I am getting marks on my legs that were not there before…..a bit like liver spots, that I have on my arms, and had a couple on my legs.  There seem to be a lot more on my legs now, and some of them feel a bit rough. I will be going to see the Oncologist on the 26^th, so I will get them checked out then.

My vagina is feeling quite uncomfortable. It is tight and I am very aware of it, but there is no pain.

Feeling lethargic, and frustrated, the weather hasn’t been the sort that is enjoyable to sit out in, and I am a bit of an outdoorsy type person.

14^th May – day 5 of 4^th chemo cycle.

Went to bed at 10.00pm, got up at 03.30am, spent  time sitting in the garden until 05.00am.

It was cool and dark, but very pleasant when the birds started to sing.

Back to bed at 05.00 until 10.30, back to bed at 12.15, up again at 3.00pm.

Palpitations, tinnitus, diahorrea, headache.

Very strange sensations in the vagina, and I had to start using the magic gel again.

As I said, no pain, just much discomfort.

Again, I have to guess when I need to use the loo, as I am getting no indications…I have to ‘toilet time’ myself.

My mouth is so sore and I have a raring toothache. I am unable to have any dental treatment until the end of all the chemo, due to possible infection.

It’s my cousins 60^th birthday tomorrow, so I am hoping to be able to pop in and help celebrate for a while, so I will get as much rest a I can today, and hope. I know Mum will be very disappointed if we can’t make it.

15^th May – day 6 of 4^th chemo cycle

I woke up this morning with one of the side effects that I had completely forgotten about.

It started last night.

The feeling of tenderness in my neck…almost like a bruise.

This morning, the whole of my body is objecting to being touched, even by fabrics!

I feel as if I have been beaten up!

It is my back, neck, arms, leg and even innards!

Now that I have it, I remember it!  If it is like last time, it will only last for a couple of days each session, so I can cope with that.

The other thing, is my teeth. Still have tooth ache. My gums are bleeding and swollen, and my mouth is sore. Last time, I had nose bleeds as well, but they haven’t shown them selves.

All in all, I am feeling well.

I did visit my cousin on her birthday, and I am glad that I made the effort.

Not sure that it was the best idea in the world, but, it is all done and dusted now.

Once I have accepted that there are things that ARE going to happen, there are going to be things that I CAN’T  DO, things that WILL hurt…etc, I can adjust to the ‘new normal’, and just get on with it…what else can I do?

Not long now, and I will have completed the journey, and knowing that I have done all that I can, and have done all that has been asked of me, is starting to give me a warm feeling of satisfaction.

16th May - day 7 of 4th chemo cycle

Oh my............ definitely one of the worst days that I have had on chemo all told. (Radiotherapy is the worst).

I was sleeping all of the time, and the weakness was something that I haven't experienced to this degree since starting treatment.

I had to rest after having a shower, another rest after dressing..........I was so tired.

Slept the day away!

17th May - day 8 of 4th chemo cycle

I am not quite so tired today, although I am not exactly buzzing with energy.

The last few days have been quite interesting for me...they have certainly been educational!

I have learned a great deal about myself and what is and is not important.

This is all good stuff!

I have felt able to clear out all the dead wood in my my and life, it has been quite a liberating feeling.

Having cancer can certainly put things into perspective, it highlights the important things in life, and very easily dismisses all the rubbish!

Feeling Free!!!!!!