21st Jan - day 17 of 2nd chemo cycle

Well, here we are again, another day crossed on the calendar!
No too different to yesterday regarding the side effects.

I did some cleaning and washing, played on my computer,
(Quite honestly, I still tire easily, and I had a very active 2 days with  Roxanne, so I indulged in some couch potato time!)

I had a phone call from the Oncologist at he Hospital. This was yesterday afternoon.
He was asking if I was well, and how I was coping with the chemo.

Awww, how nice, I thought........

Well,
The reason he phoned is that I was supposed to be at the hospital, and he was concerned because I wasn't there!
Ooooops!
I had forgotten.

See, I told you that I couldn't focus and concentrate very well!
So, I now have to go to the Hospital on Monday to discuss how I am coping with the chemo, and discuss the next stage....Radiotherapy.
I have to go to Hospital on Tuesday for blood tests.
And I have to go on Wednesday for the next chemo infusion.
This is the last cycle until after the radiotherapy, when we start all over again!

(Carol gives a big sigh of fed upness!)
Yes, I know, there is no such word!

Yep, that is how I feel!

My son Keith phoned me yesterday.

He was in a car crash. He wasn't hurt, nor was anyone else, which is great news.
Sarah's car is a write off though.
They live in the Lake District and it is still very icy there, and there are a lot of windy roads on hills.
I should imagine that he is as fed up as I am, because his car gave up the ghost a week or so ago, and had to be scrapped.

Well, these things are sent to try us, and try us, they bloody do!

All in all, I feel fine!

20th Jan - day 16 of 2nd cycle of chemo

Sinusitis is quite bad this morning. In fact it was the pain that woke me up. I think that I am going to have to take some pain killers today.
It shouldn't last long though, so in about 1 hour, I will be feeling reasonably well, so that is good.

The next chemo cycle is getting closer...so I am feeling a bit apprehensive, I can't say that I am looking forward to it, but what's a girl to do....
So....'Suck it up, Carol!'

"Urban Dictionary - Suck it up - to endure a period or mental, physical or emotional hardship with no complaining."

I had a good couple of days whilst Roxanne was here. We got a few things sorted.
Keith, my son wants to come next week, which will be great, but I have to work out when I am going to be worth visiting, so it may have to wait until the week after.
My friend will be here for the week-end after the next chemo, I should be feeling well enough then, although I don't think that I will be dancing lol!

So, lots of planning to do, loads of visitors, lots of loose ends to tie up between now and 26th, so everything is coming together .

That can't be bad!!

I am content.

19th Jan day 15 of 2nd chemo cycle

Morning all!
Side effects,
Not a lot of change really, heartburn and sinusitis being a pain this morning.

The wedding....
Well, so far we have sorted:-
Date.       Sat. 6th August.
Ring        Roxanne has seen the one she wants, and has taken the code and place to purchase.
Dress      Roxy knows what she wants, has given picture to my friend Mandy, who will make it.
                (Thanks Mandy)!
Venue     choice of 2, and we will go and see them after 7th Feb, when  I will be having more  'good  days.

So, Wonder  Woman's work is now done! (For a while, any way)

I dare say that there will be more to do today when Roxanne gets another bright idea!




    

18th Jan - day 14 of 2nd chemo cycle

Well, sinusitis has come back as last time. Heartburn remains. These are the 2 'biggies' at the moment.
The others are more manageable
My daughter is coming today!
We will be discussing her  wedding.
I am really looking forward to it..

The insurance has been paid at last!
I can now make sure that my funeral is paid for, help financially with the wedding, help my son get a new car, (his died this week).

Organise some family week ends away, making sure that I plan them to coincide with my 'good days', and save the rest to see us through in case I need to take more time off work than I had anticipated and still pay all the household bills.

Yes, all is quiet on the Western Front!

17th Jan - day 13 of 2nd chemo cycle

Had a great day yesterday, chatting and laughing over coffee and cake........

I have to wear make up or I look very pale and insipid.
My hair has pretty much all gone, and my eyebrows are thinning.
(The weird thing about that is, they are thinning where I want eyebrows, but all the little devils that I pluck out are still there! This means that despite loosing my eyebrow hair, I still have to pluck! Crazy!)

When I 'make up',  as I said, I have to darken my brows with an eye pencil.
Anyway, making up yesterday, doing my stuff, I have a number of eye pencils in different colours, the pencils look similar, and just have the colour written on them.

I had only painted my eyebrows in bottle green..... I had to wash it off and start again. I had to draw on my hand first to find the brown...that is how bad my close up vision has become lol!

Side effects
Sinusitis has kicked in, heartburn there all the time.
The other side effects that are there all the time have almost become 'normal', so don't really get a mention, like:
Toilet timing, tinnitus, tiring easily, lack of ability to concentrate, frustration and irritability.
Heartburn seems to come in a 'block' of time .
Sore body comes for a few days.
Nausea comes and goes, but get it more during the first 5-10 days. Complete lethargy and tiredness comes for the first 5-10  days. I will look back over my blog and do a bit of a chart, that may help others, and me, when I am trying to plan an outing or visits etc.

Hmm, that will be a nice little project for me.

See you tomorrow, have a good day.

16th Jan - day 12 of 2nd chemo cycle

As I anticipated, yesterday was a good day!

Today, I am off out for the day with a friend of mine. That will be great.

It's my Mum's birthday today, she will be 82.
Mum lives with me, because she became too unwell to live alone.
Mum moved in with me in November 2009.
She bent down to pick something up and a vertebrae in her back fractured.
On top of that, she had new valves put in to hear heart, then had a stroke under the anaesthetic, although, that was a few years before, and she did recover well.
Mum is a very independent lady!
Anyway, she lives with me so that I can care for her.

When I am feeling yucky after the chemo, Mum is caring for me!
She checks on me, makes sure I eat..............
This seems so unfair.
I feel so guilty, because that is not how it should be.....I should be caring for HER,  all the time, not just 10-12 days out of 20!
Bless you Mum, I love you!

Anyway, she said that she needs nothing for her birthday, well tough luck, you are going to get something anyway!

15th Jan - day 11 of 2nd chemo cycle

Yesterday was a very good day....still had the side effects, but watered down lol!
Lots of contact from friends, family and work colleagues....a nice bit of 'ego massage', always make me feel good, but don't tell anyone.
All in all,

I FEEL GOOD
James Brown

Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would, now
So good, so good, I got you

Whoa! I feel nice, like sugar and spice
I feel nice, like sugar and spice
So nice, so nice, I got you

{ sax, two licks to bridge }

When I hold you in my arms
I know that I can't do no wrong
and when I hold you in my arms
My love won't do you no harm

and I feel nice, like sugar and spice
I feel nice, like sugar and spice
So nice, so nice, I got you

{ sax, two licks to bridge }

When I hold you in my arms
I know that I can't do no wrong
and when I hold you in my arms
My love can't do me no harm

and I feel nice, like sugar and spice
I feel nice, like sugar and spice
So nice, so nice, I got you

Whoa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would
So good, so good, I got you
So good, so good, I got you
So good, so good, I got you
HEY!! 

15th Jan - day 11 of 2nd chemo cycle

Felt quite good all day yesterday, other than heart burn and a bit of dizziness, not too bad at all.
I had a lot of contact from friends, family and work colleagues wishing me well, that was great....
and an ego massage always helps, lol!
Tomorrow, I am going out with a friend, fab!
Tuesday, my daughter is coming for a day or 2.
I have got a lot to keep me busy over the next few days..........
All in all................
Life is great!

14th Jan - day 10 of 2nd chemo cycle

And another good morning to you all!
Well....
side effects are much the same, the MOST noticeable are tiredness, changing eyesight, sore mouth and mouth ulcers, (not a lot of bleeding this time though -so far), and heart burn.

So far, out of the 20-21 days of each cycle, the first 5 days have been the worst, feeling a great deal better day 6-10, although, I couldn't say that I felt well, then slowly starting to feel better and better.......feeling pretty good under the circumstances by day 18, just in time for the next cycle to being, day 20-21. (Seeing the rest of this cycle out will confirm that, (or not, as the case maybe)!
The side effects seem to worsen with each cycle, so following that logic, I am expecting to feel worse during the next cycle.....Oh Joy!

I took a trip to the opticians regarding my eyesight, and was told that it was not uncommon for chemo to affect vision, and that 'normal' vision should return after the chemo.

13th Jan - Day - 9th day of 2nd chemo cycle

Good Morning!
I am feeling particularly positive this morning.
I can hear the birds singing, and there seems to be a 'newness' in the air,.......
I don't know...a smell, a feeling, a perception...hard to explain....
Any way, who cares, it feels Good!

To be honest, I didn't sleep as well as usual last night, a bit fretful, and strange dreams, of course, I can't remember them now, but I do know that I had them....lol!

Side effects....
Well, they have pretty much remained the same, but, interestingly, my taste in foods/drinks have changed.

I have been a coffee drinker for yonkers.....never took tea, (unless it was herbal...nettle, chamomile, peppermint etc).
Tea, always made my mouth feel like I was 'sucking on suede'.
I have never taken sugar in coffee....
Now, I don't like coffee, and I drink tea with sugar!

Chocolate, a real passion, (I have always been able to resist anything except temptation, lol).
Well, I don't like that much any more, (chocolate, that is, I can still succumb to temptation...easy peasy!)

I have always liked fruit, vegetables and cereal.........now, that is all I want, along with a renewed passion for pasta!
As I mentioned earlier, I have never been one to take sugar in coffee etc, or on cereal, now, I have to have sugar!
I have tried fresh fruit instead of sugar on cereal, which is how I have always preferred my cereal, but it isn't hitting the spot any more..It has to be sugar!

Oooooo, and nothing to do with a change in taste....but you really must try ice cream with warm custard, another passion of mine, that, so far, has stayed with me..........Oooooo, I am getting all excited just thinking about it!

Still today!

One of the guys from the DLO at work, (Direct Labour Operatives), came to see me today, with a beautiful bouquet from 'The Boys at DLO'.
That was lovely, thank you very much!

12 Jan

KA POW!
Back on track!
Yesterday was a good day!

I was busy doing boring housework chores, and then I went out into town............
(Insurance Company has still not deposited the money, - little devils).
Spent 4 hours in town, stopping when I felt I needed to.......
I bought some more head scarves.....
Better be careful that the buying of new 'head coverings' doesn't put my shoe and earring obsession in the shade.

EEEEEEK, Shock, Horror!
Don't worry girls, I wont let you down,
I will ensure that I divide my obsessions equally between all 3!

Shoes Rule! O.K!

Side effects.....
Sore mouth, tinnitus, sore lips, body hurts all over, especially the bottom of my feet, tiredness, changing eye sight, shaking hands, occasional nausea, nails in poor condition, heartburn, pretty much the same ones.......

When I went out yesterday, I wore my scarf on my head, and a 'cap', (straight out of the '60's - fab!).
Anyway, it created a blind spot when I was driving, so as soon as I got to town, the first thing I bought was a woolly hat that looked like a teddy bear....ears and all!

A bit like this one.....................
Couldn't resist it. I can drive safely in this.

11th Jan - day 7 of 2nd chemo cycle

Yesterday was a bad day.
Despite trying to be as positive as possible, I felt really unwell.
I slept for most of the day.
My whole body hurt.

I felt weak, not having the strength to brush teeth, carry a plate to the sink.......
Yes, yesterday was a bad day.

Today, however, is another day.

We will see what we will see today.

I am expecting a good day.

10th Jan - day 6 of 2nd cycle of chemo

YAAAAAAAY1

Unpleasant explosion in Wolverhampton, England ............ AVERTED!!!!!

You can all sleep peacefully in your beds now!

Today, my back, shoulders, arms, head, neck and the bottom of my feet are very tender.
I feel as if I have been beaten!
Other than that, it is the same as yesterday, so not to bad.

Oh, in an earlier post, I did say that I had made a complaint to B&Q. I just wanted to let you know that they did get back to me and said that they had taken my comments, 'On board'......

I also had a letter stating that the insurance company was definitely going to pay out on my critical illness policy. So that is good.

I really would advise any one to take this type of policy out, because, you never know.........
Anyway, I intend to pay for my funeral so that my children are not burdened with it.
(Not that I am intending to go anywhere!)
Nope...I am here for a long time yet!

I think that I may be able to stray a little way from the 'conveniences' today, so I am going to check at the bank and see if the money has been deposited yet, and if it has, I may even treat myself to something nice.

I can dream, can't I? Lol

9th Jan - day 5 of 2nd chemo cycle

Good morning.....
Not too early today, 08.44.
I go to bed at 19..00 last night, get up at 02.00this morning, go back to bed at 04.00 and then got up again now.
I have to be careful or I will not know if it is night or day lol.

Still have heartburn, poor vision, tinnitus, lack of concentration, my hands are shaking.
I can't tell if I need the loo, and have to continue 'toilet timing' myself, and I am constipated.
(I have taken senacot every night since the 5th Jan,) doesn't seem to have helped, and I am eating fruit and vegetables like they are going out of fashion.
Hopefully, today's the day!
If not, I am in great danger of exploding!

The good news is, I have no more tablets to take until the 2nd day of my next chemo cycle, which starts on 26th Jan.
(I do have some anti-sickness tablets to take if required, but they are not compulsory).

So, in a nut shell, things could be worse, and I am lucky to get away with minimal pain, discomfort and inconvenience so far to date.
Still away to go, so I won't get too complacent.

All things considered, I am not feeling too bad.
I daren't stray to far from the home, in case I get caught short, so I feel a bit like a prisoner in my own home.

8th Jan - 4th day of 2nd chemo cycle

Yep, your right, silly O'clock again!

Experienced side effects.....
Yesterday,
Tinnitus, heartburn, palpitations, headache, nausea, mild incontinence, (whoopeeedeee for tena lady).
impaired vision, (worse than last time), lack of concentration, general irritability and galloping wind!
And, oh, so very tired and 'lack lustre'!
For most part, none on the side effects presented them self as more severe than this time last cycle, apart from the vision, and perhaps the concentration.

It is taking me longer to write the blog as I have to read and re-read, edit and then I find that I have still missed something.
This is driving me nuts, and is causing frustration.......so for me, I have decided to accept that I have a temporary disability and claim my equality, patience and understanding! So there!

Having to put alarms on my phone to ensure that I take this tablet at this time, food this time, then another tablet...........
This is a bit restricting.
For example, if I wanted to go to bed for a sleep, I have to time it to perfection to ensure I can get an hour or 2 in between each 'medication time' or time to eat.
Failed that quest miserably yesterday!

I have a greater understanding of people who have to do this on a daily and continuous basis!
I am so grateful that I have to do this for only 4 days in 21!
For all of you out there, who are not as lucky as me, I am thinking of you!

After more coffee, and a little look around blogs and face book, I am going to get a shower, change and wash the sheets, do a bit of cleaning and anything that needs doing that I feel able to do.

Still today

Tinnitus has just kicked in, and a complete lack of concentration..........
Making so many mistakes, many of them publicly...making me feel like a complete fool!
Never mind, I knew that it would out eventually!! Lol

7th December - day 3 of 2nd chemo cycle

Up at stupid O'clock again!
Felt a bit delicate most of the day yesterday.....
Very tired, nauseous, but I wasn't sick, so that is good.
Headaches, palpitations and heart burn.Managed to keep them under control.
Used paracetamol, anti-acid tabs and rest, so everything is in place to make things as easy as possible.

Still taking temperature twice daily and that is stable, low, but stable.
Still have to take my chemo meds today, last day for a while. Next infusion of chemo meds in hospital 26th Jan.
It is panning out similarly to the beginning of the last cycle so far.
If it continues to follow the same course, and the same level, I should be over the worst in about 10-14days, get one very good week, and then start again.

So all in all, life is good!

6th Jan - day 2 of 2nd chemo cycle.

 As I stated, I was really tired when I got home, and I felt dizzy, light headed and nauseous.

I went to the loo, holding on to the wall and bannisters. Did my stuff, and came back down stairs.

Lost my balance on the last 2 steps and slipped. 

The only thing hurt was my pride, but I thought it prudent to stay seated for a while.

Despite being tired, I didn't want to go to bed feeling nauseous, so I took the decision to stay up until the feeling subsided. That was about 01.40. By this time, I had a headache that would kill 2 men!

I was kept well entertained on Face book! Lol!

I slept well, and got up at 07.00.

Not dizzy and light headed, but still a bit nauseous, not to worry, I have the anti-sickness meds that have to be taken today, along with further chemo meds. Need to do the same tomorrow.

I am 'expanding' at an uncomfortable rate The cancer that I have has the effect of weight loss OR weight gain.

Wouldn't you know that I get the weight gain......b*gger!

The meds that I have to take, also have the same side effect!  Urghhhhhh.

Never mind, apparently radio therapy has the side effect of weight loss and loss of appetite. Redemtion! Lol.

By special request, I will be posting a pic of me in a wig later today. (I have 2, the NHS one isn't ready yet, when it is, I will post a pic in that.

Still feeling very positive....this will NOT get me!

I would like to thank you all for reading this blog....It's great knowing that I am not talking to myself!

Between you, you come from 24 different Countries, and have clocked up over 2,000 hits.

Thanks again. 

Please, do feel free to comment.

 

After the treatment, 1st day of 2nd cycle of chemo

Hi,
It's lovely to see so many of you interested in today's post, - thank you.
Well, it went down the same as last time. (see post 13.12 10).
I was there with different people this time.
Actually got chatting this time, and I will be meeting them again at my next 'full hospital visit'.  (26th Jan).
So that will be good.
(We discussed bringing a game of twister and the kareoke machine, lol!)

I did get a telling off for using my phone again, and I was texting......... so I need to ignore everything that I was told about phone use, no calls no texts...no nothing!

I felt like a naughty child, Lol!
That was fun!

Back to business......
Pete came and took me to hospital, I managed to nab the same spot as last time, next to the loo!
We discussed my side effects, seems that I was very lucky to get off as lightly as I did.... probably, be worse this time. (Not if I can help it!)
I did mention my vision being affected, and I was told, yes it can be an issue, but it is very rare,
(Might have bloody guessed!) Lol!
I will see the optician next time that I am in town..............
Mum came at about 13.30....armed with more magazines and coffee!
(Pete said that he had a heavy day today, so we had a taxi back home).

I feel very light headed and tired.
That much so, that I needed physical assistance to make my way to reception to meet the taxi.
Mum helped me, bless....
If I had've gone over, we would have both ended up in a heap together.... the sick helping the sick! Lol!
But WE ARE SUPER HERO'S, and didn't....Lol!

Great to get home, I can take my head gear off and give my head a jolly good scratch!
I am really hot too, and my chest and neck are bright red! No itching or rash, just red!
I will have to see if I have a blouse to co-ordinate , Lol!

I need to take the same chemo tablets as last time for the next 2 days, along with compulsory anti-sickness meds and additional, if required ones).
(Didn't need the additional anti sickness meds last time).
I have my bucket ready and waiting by my bed, just in case!

Really have to go now, I am soooooooooo knac*kred!

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

5th Jan 1st day of 2nd cycle

I am scared.........

Mum was going to come with me, but she remembered that she had a hairdressing appointment at 12. 00, so she is coming afterwards.

Just as well really, I would prefer her not to see me looking like a scared rabbit! Lol!

Mum sees me as stong and dependable, so I would like to keep it that way, after all, she came to live with me so that I can care for her, not the other way around! Lol!I will be settled and feeling a bit better when she comes. (I hope, anyway).

I should be settled and more confident and less scared then.

Well, 06.45 now, Pete's coming at 08.00 to take me. (Thanks Pete).

I will have another coffee, pack my bag with 'the paperwork', magazines and other things to do for 9 hours, then have a shower.

Shouldn't take me long, as I don't have to 'tat' around with may hair! Lol!

Then I will sit quietly, and take my head to a happy place.

Ooooooo, that just reminded me of a song, do you remember it?

By Napoleon XIV.....

They're coming to take me away Ha ha,

They're coming to take me away Ho ho,

To the happy home,

With trees and flowers,

And Chirpping birds..............

Lol!

No idea where that came from.......

That's brought a smile to my face!

.

I will let you know how it went when I get back.
Have a good day.

4th January, after bloods

Well, I have definitely got some blood!
A bit was taken, I was there and back in half an hour.
Tomorrow is the 1st day of the second cycle, I am not looking forward to it al all.
But, sais la vie and all that..................

As I said, I shaved my head last night because I was fed up with hair in my food and all over the place.

This one is shaved and proud! Lol!

With my 'head gear'! Lol!

I bought the hat from Hooties at £0.39!
(This is $0.60, Euro 0.46).
The scarf was £3.00! ($4.63, Euro 3.53).

My head feels so much better since I shaved it.
There is no soreness or tenderness now, so that is fab!!

Anyway, see if I still have that silly grin on my face tomorrow!!

Have a good day, talk to you tomorrow, before I go, and when I get back if I feel able.
Wish me luck!

4th January morning

Hi,
Sinusitis again this morning, no scalp ache because I shaved my head last night, as I said I would.
I am off to the hospital this morning for my blood tests.
I will let you know what happened at the hospital when I get back, and I will post pictures of me with no hair.
Can't do it now because I have just woken up, taking my first coffee, not a pretty sight.

3rd January '11 - 21st day of 1st chemo cycle

Morning!
Felt tired yesterday after noon, but managed to stay up until 10.00pm. Wow!
I had my shower yesterday morning, and was wondering why the shower wasn't draining, so I checked the plug and cleaned it out. It was full of my hair,
Water drained OK when it was all removed.
Dare say that it will happen again this morning when I get in the shower.
My scalp was sore all day yesterday, and is sore this morning.
I had a headache most of the day yesterday, which is unusual for me, and woke with sinusitis again this morning.

I am off to the hospital tomorrow for tests and then again on 5th for the 2nd infusion of chemo, which will take about 9 hours. That will be the 1st day of the 2nd cycle of chemo....you see, I have worked it all out now! Lol!

I did cook dinner, and no one complained of having  hairs in it, so that was good.
Depending on how much falls out today, I will probably shave it off. It is a little weird finding hairs every where at each turn of my head.
It will certainly make getting ready in the mornings a lot easier! No hair to wash, no 'blow drying'.......
I will just include my head in my face washing! Lol!

Getting back to B&Q............
I felt guilty sounding off with out letting B&Q that I was unhappy, so I wrote an email making an official complaint.
It was polite, and stated that the staff were good, but that it was the policy that I disagreed with.
I haven't heard anything back.
Mum, Derek and I went to Machine Mart and bought what we wanted.
 It was their last one, but they DID sell it to us!
The only thing is, we left a piece of it there, so I have to go back and get it today!
Damm!

Life is back to normal now after the holidays, so I have a number of calls to make today in response to letters that I received during the holidays, that will take a couple of hours.
(You know, after I have pressed button this then button that with the options, hung on because 'My call is important to them',   'They will answer my call as soon as possible'........whilst I am hanging on the line, they will make things even more unpleasant in the hope that I will hang up and call back later by playing some bloody awful music! - to top it all, I will probably be humming it for the rest of the day!)
Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Never mind, I will think lovely thoughts,  put a smile on my face and wait, just like always, Lol!

2nd Jan '11 - 20th day of 1st chemo cycle

Hi!
Not a lot of change really, still woke with sinusitis, had a bit of a nose bleed. My  scalp stopped hurting yesterday, but started to hurt again just before I went to bed. Brushed my hair, and quiet a few hairs came out. I have noticed that they come out in the area that was sore.
This happens to be on the top, in the middle.
Shall look a bit like this soon!

Derek, Mum and me went out yesterday, we went to B&Q to get some stuff.
Well, we saw what we wanted, but they wouldn't sell it to us because it was the display model, and they had no others in stock!
Is it just me..........
Why do you want to display something you haven't got?
Why do you want miss a sale at a difficult time for retailers?
I wouldn't mind, but it is the 4th time that this has happened! And always at B&Q!
I tried to buy-
A shed, there it was, large as life! No, can't have it because it is for display purposes.... For goodness sake, you haven't got any, why display it!
A set of 5 wicker storage caskets! No, can't have that.............
A shredder, for the garden, you know, the ones that make chips from branches,...Can't remember what they are called, and something else that I can't remember.
I wouldn't mind, but I have only been to that particular B&Q 4 times, well, I shan't be going again!
Bloody madness, I was livid, spitting nails!!!!!!!!!
Well, I had a bit of a 'paddy'.
Mum and Derek decided that I should leave B&Q.
Humph!!!!!!
I did get a bit angry.

Keep calm, keep calm! Deep breath, count to 10.....................

Then we went went to have dinner at a lovely little place on the Stafford Road.
I had a Balti Kashmir, with naan and pilau rice. Mmmmmmmmmm, yummy scrummy!!!!
I pigged out and calmed down!